An essential guide for those who are ‘overly emotional’ or ‘very emotional’

An essential guide for those who are ‘overly emotional’ or ‘very emotional’

An essential guide for those who are ‘overly emotional’ or ‘very emotional’


— Read on www.centreforemotionaleducation.com/an-essential-guide-for-those-who-are-overly-emotional-or-very-emotional/

Sharing Thursday: Towards your Emotional Development

Have you ever felt that you over-react often or always? Or been told that you’re too emotional?

Could it be true that you are and there could be a latent reason? Or could it be that the one who made the statement to you is just emotionally deprived? Find out by reading the post.

I find this post very informative and apropos having just written my E-Emotional Development blog.

“An essential guide to those who are ‘overly emotional’ or ‘very emotional’” is good read for those wondering why they exhibit deep emotions. It also provides steps for how to develop emotionally.

Also visit the website for a free e-book download. I hope you find it equally informative.

Towards your Emotional Development and Intelligence. Happy Thursday! 😍

5,000 All-Time Views

🌹Thank you. Much appreciated. 💐

Though we have ideas
And the light bulb daily flickers bright
If we do not
Put pen to paper
Vain, it is.

Though we put
The pen to paper,
Or clickity clackity away
On the good old typewriter,
Or use the notepad
On our phones,
Or voice record
Those ideas,
If you publish it not
It sure is vain.

And though
We publish
Those ideas
All over the social media
And of course the WordPress
If none views it
It is futile.

Thank you sincerely for the views
But please don’t stop there

For though
Some view
The published ideas
If none likes, comments, or follows
It’s as if the ideas never got out
Nor pen to paper
Nor onto the social media.

But the number of views say otherwise

Or maybe you just forgot
To let me know
That you stopped by.

I’m glad you stopped by. Next time
Please remember
to drop me a note
So I can appreciate you for the visit.

Thanks again
for stopping by
to view
Please do a little more
and go beyond viewing
If you will.

Help convert those views
to likes and comments; let’s have a conversation

That’s when those ideas
put to paper and the algorithms
become meaningful.

And maybe some day when you come back you might decide to
Follow if you will.

Love you and thanks for viewing.

Is your Heart healthy? Or Are you on a Verge of a Heart Attack?

There are devices we can use at home to check our blood pressure, our temperature, and blood sugar for glucose level? But how does one check the heart? I do not suppose that there is a home device yet for the heart.

We all need a heart check up. And I don’t mean medically. That is necessary and important. I’m referring to a spiritual heart check up. But how do we go about it?

We could ask a trusted family member or friend for an honest review, but still they do not have a full picture of our heart. They can only evaluate based on their interactions with us. Their evaluations might be skewed not wanting to offend us.

The best evaluator of our heart therefore is God. He sees our hearts and the innermost part of our beings which are hidden to others. He also knows our frames and intentions. We should humbly go to Him often to say

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.”                
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:23-24‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Will you? I do occasionally.

Have you ever wondered what state your heart is? Or been told that you do need to check your heart? Not that I have been told to, but I do often feel like telling some folks to do just that – check their hearts.

Keep (check) your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

I’ve been on

which I selected out of sheer curiosity. I’ve almost completed it and thought it would be great to share. Check it out for a Transforming of Your Heart. I won’t give all the details away because it is worth reading. I got the types of hearts from it.

We’ve heard the cliche “Follow your heart,” but will you agree with me that sometimes our hearts can deceive us. Or how does one explain a lady who tells everyone that “my heart says he’s my husband” to a married man? Odd, but true. I’ve heard it twice. And you just stare at the lady in disbelief while refraining from shaking your head and telling her that she is delusional. Please note that this has nothing to do the mental capacity of the lady.

There are other examples I could give. The heart state is also the reason why some employees slander and tattle to the boss about another fellow employer. Anyhow

May God help us all.

So, What Kind of Heart are You?

I know that I used to have a stubborn, anxious, and condemning heart. But thank God for searching, delivering me from it all, and replacing it with a teachable, thankful, contrite, loving truth- and peace-filled heart. It is surely more than I can ask for. He has blessed me with a faith-filled, generous, joyful, and wise (could use some more wisdom) heart. But I do need and pray for a more grace-filled and surrendered heart. And yet Father God desires of me a trusting heart though what I still give Him is a questioning heart. God help me.

How about you?

Holly Melton, the author of the Plan, listed the following hearts. Will you share, in the Comments, the type of heart you think or know you have, the one you desire, and also need help with.

  • Stubborn or Teachable Heart
  • Forgetful or Remembering Heart
  • Questioning or Trusting Heart
  • Unbelieving or Believing Heart
  • Complacent or Thankful Heart
  • Deceived or Truth-Filled Heart
  • Sorrowful or Glad Heart
  • Anxious or Peace-Filled Heart
  • Prideful or Humble Heart
  • Hopeless or Hopeful Heart
  • Selfish or Generous Heart
  • Overly-Sensitive or Grace-Filled Heart
  • Hateful or Loving Heart
  • Angry or Forgiving Heart
  • Clean or Dirty Heart
  • Repentant or impertinent Heart
  • Sincere or Dishonest/Deceitful Heart
  • Serving or Controlling and Master’ing Heart
  • Condemning or Contrite Heart
  • Idolatrous or Surrendered Heart
  • Lustful or Pure Heart
  • Compassionate or Hardened Heart
  • Wise or Foolish Heart
  • Joyless or Joyful Heart
  • Courageous or Fearful Heart
  • Righteous or Evil Heart

May we be willing to allow God to search our hearts and correct the anomalies lest we have a spiritual heart attack some day. May it never be.

To your spiritual heart wellness

Just For Dads

Wishing my awesome Dad followers, likers, and commenters the BESTEST Father’s Day ever. You deserve more than the biggest chicken (Chris Rock) in the house today and always! 😍

Hope you’re having a great day!!

Did you watch it?

Game 7 was phenomenal as expected. It could have passed for the NBA Finals, rather than the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals that it was. And for the Milwaukee Bucks, no other game going forward, could be as challenging as the one today against Brooklyn Nets. For sure!

So, Team Giannis won having narrowly missed a last minute three-pointer that could have ended the regulation with Kevin Durant’s (KD) shot, but for his (KD) foot on the line. Thus it was a two-point shot. It tied the game and went into overtime.

KD’s three/two pointer shot

The overtime (OT) started with Nets early shot, while Bucks’ shots refused to hit the basket until almost the fourth minute (of the five-minute OT).

A game with KD is not over until the clock times out because he is such a great player and shooter who can shoot from any angle. Unfortunately his last shot for the Game 7 OT was an air ball. As Giannis always says, a win is a win, whether by one or ten points. KD’s miss clenched the win for Team Giannis.

I have watched both Giannis Antetokounmpo (GA) and KD played each other times without number, both during regular seasons, Playoffs, and Finals, but still none compared to 2021 Game 7 nor have I ever seen both key players as exhausted as they both were for this Game. Everyone, that is the NBA village, was watching.

Bucks was the underdog, but with injuries plaguing the Nets, they had a chance. And chance they not only had, but took, and snatched the win from the Big Two (or shall I say, Big One-and-a-Half since Harden, who surprisingly made more shots (3s) than he did for Games 5 and 6) was not totally healthy. He stepped up immensely though to aid KD and the Team.

The key players on both Teams were glaringly and excruciatingly exhausted not surprisingly since both KD and Giannis played about 50 minutes each and had 40+ points. Giannis played with a limp towards the end having suffered pains from being hit. So did P. J. Tucker at some point. Giannis was also ridiculed at the free throw line for taking too long and missing the shots anyways, which he finally overcame and made a total of I think five out of the eight free throws. Middleton was hit in the eye. And there was also foul troubles; P.J. Tucker, who was doing a tremendous job guarding KD and frustrating his efforts, eventually fouled out during the OT.

Great Sportsmanship

KD gave his respect to the Milwaukee Bucks for all they did tonight, during the Series, and had done throughout the Season.
See the after-game video courtesy of NBA.

Congrats. Congrats. Congrats.

Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks. They get two days of rest, (excluding travel back to their home base) while waiting on the winner of Sixers and Atlanta, before the start of the Eastern Conference Finals Series.

Bucks-Nets Game 7 was the Game of the Season and one to remember for years!

It Is A Must-Watch Game 7!

You probably already heard about Brooklyn Nets-Milwaukee Bucks’ Games 5 and 6. If you thought those were spectacular, today’s Game 7 will definitely be much more. It is a MUST WATCH! This is the finale that determines who advances to the Eastern Conference Finals. The fight of the titans. An African adage says: “when two elephants battle, it is the ground (where the fight is taking place) that suffers.” We don’t interpret ethnic adages (aka proverbs) literally because they are so weighted that no literal translation can suffice. In the above adage, imagine the ground being wet and muddy, then imagine if the ground was dry and concrete. [laugh] Get the picture?

when two elephants battle, it is the ground (where the fight is taking place) that suffers.”

An African Adage

Anyways, and seriously, I am so excited that the game extended to Game 7. It was what it was supposed to be. The first two games of the series were a sham indeed. Bucks finally awoke and tied the game, only to lose Game 5 in the last few minutes of the fourth quarter though they had led throughout. It was unbelievable with Giannis’ fumble at the critical moments and the Team being in foul trouble. But Game 6 was better making it look like a ping-ponging series between the two teams. The ping-ponging is the sign of an equal team natch. But now this is it. Today at 8:30 P.M. ET.

Both Teams have utilized their respective court advantages. So, if courts- and fans-advantages have played a role, though I believe that Bucks could have won Game 5 on Nets’ ground, how will it play out today?

We will surely find out. Make sure you watch it if you can.

Congratulations

Congrats to the Los Angeles (LA) Clippers for making it to the Western Conference Finals. They defeated Utah Jazz’s Team Mitchell yesterday winning the series 4-2. It’s the first time ever for the Clippers to advance to the Conference Finals despite their key player, Kawahi Leonard, being injured and missing their last two games.

Congratulations also to the Phoenix Suns and their determined Team Devin Booker, Chris Paul, Deandre Ayton, Cameron Payne, and Mikal Bridges for making it to the Western Conference Finals. The Western Finals start on Sunday. Doubtful if Chris Paul will be playing the first two games since he’s on protocol watch.

It has been fun and exhilarating watching the games so far. It gets even better going forward till the Grand Finale.

Are you watching? Why or why not?

M-Mental Development: PEMFESS+P

Credits: Unsplash / Matthew Ball

Mental health and development is encompassing and this post cannot do it enough justice that it deserves.

I started writing this post couple of weeks ago. It seems such a daunting topic to write that I have made endless edits every time I reviewed it. Since it’s been that long since the last post on the PEMFESS+P series, I finally accepted the fact that Mental Health and Development is an exhaustive topic that I cannot fully cover with one post. I’ll, however, do my best to include basic information for the purposes of the Series and, if need be, add more later. Thanks for reading.

Mental illness awareness has recently gained national and global attention . Hitherto, it was a taboo to talk about it, admit that one was suffering from it, or accept its diagnosis. But, Mental health is as real as all other health or development issues. It’s therefore important to cultivate a sound mental health routine and make it a priority for yourself.

What is Mental Health?

Mental health is how your mind processes (“reasons, thinks, feels, wills, perceives, judges, etc.”) everything that pertains to you and life. It involves your “intellect or understanding, as distinguished from the faculties of feeling and willing.”

The National Institute of Health (NIH) describes mental health as including “… our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.” The Institute went on to state that “Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.”

Mental diagnosis ranges from depression, anxiety, panic and maniac disorders to suicides. Alcohol and drug use or dependences also falls under the mental disorders list, as well as, excessive or insufficient and unreasonable (anorexic) eating, schizophrenia, bipolar, post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd), etc.

Statistics

One out of every five young adult is affected by mental illness.

Half of all mental disorders begin by age 14 and three-quarters by age 24.”

“19.00% of adults are experiencing a mental illness. Equivalent to over 47 million Americans.”

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), about “1 billion people are living with a mental disorder, 3 million people die every year from the harmful use of alcohol and one person dies every 40 seconds by suicide.”

Mental Development

Mental development affects one’s total being; emotional, physical, social and financial developments, such that if not properly managed or treated, the total being (health and wellness) can disintegrate.

It is pertinent to note that though you might be as physically developed as you will get, your brain is still undergoing its development. As such, mentally, as well as emotionally, you are not fully grown (or developed) at eighteen or twenty-one. “The changes that take place in the brain during the early twenties affect how new experiences and new pieces of information are synthesized.”

Being aware that you are not fully and mentally developed should necessitate seeking guidance before making or taking major decisions. Be accountable to someone – your parent/s or close friend.

Helpful Habits

Regarding this Series, being fully cognizant of your abilities and capacities is a necessary trait.

  • How you handle stress, conflicts, change, or challenging times;
  • What your resilience quotient (which is how fast you bounce back when life throws you a curve) is;
  • Your general outlook on life – hopefully you have more positive than negative outlook;
  • Knowing your triggers and communicating them to those closest to you is key. This helps them be cognizant and supportive when the triggers arise.
  • Your “Me time” is essential to refresh and rejuvenate. Ensuring that you have one at least monthly; best will be weekly, will help your mental outlook.
  • Surround yourself with positive family and friends.

Other ways to improve your mental health can be found here.

Also, click here to learn ten things you can do for your mental health.

Other References

Loving Basketball: Milwaukee Bucks and Brooklyn Nets’ Game 4 was super-electrifying. Did you watch it?

Milwaukee Bucks and Brooklyn Nets’ Game 4 was super-electrifying. Did you watch it?

It was very physical. Which is okay for a Playoff game, right, but when intentional hurt, harm, and injuries overshadow the games, it takes the fun away. I felt such happened during the game, but overall it was just what was expected of two elephants on the court. To some, it’s a part of what Playoffs and Finals are made of. Does it have to be though?

Unfortunately, Brooklyn Net’s Kyrie Irving, the Team’s indomitable point guard accidentally stepped on Giannis of Milwaukee Bucks, thought he twisted his ankle, had to leave Game 4, and won’t be available for Game 5. We learned later that Kyrie only suffered a sprain.

Also, Milwaukee Bucks’ Guard, Pat Connaughton, got hit in the brow and had to be stitched. Was his hurt/injury, a retaliatory action?

Yet, there was the unflinching recently-acquired-from-Houston Rockets Guard, P.J. Tucker, who superbly defended and restricted my awesome KD such that KD was frustrated and had a too-close-for-comfort-facial court encounter that necessitated KD’s bodyguard running to his side. It was dramatic and scary for me to watch. For a second I thought it was about to turn into a scuffle. Thank goodness that the swift actions of the referees and coaches averted one. [sigh]

All said and done, the Bucks put up a superb and superior game to equalize the Series; now 2-2.

Kudos to all for a tremendous Game 4 worth watch.

Today is Game 5. Nets’ James Harden, who left Game 1 with a hamstring injury and missed Games 2-4, might return to aid the lone star of the Big Three.

Will Bucks continue with the tight defense and fearless pursuit? We’ll see tonight.

Hope you’ll be watching too.

.

Happy Birthday to Me!: An Ode

Twenty-one years ago
Lol
Some beautiful creations met
And decided to
Procreate

What a wonder it was

Dem two procreated
An equal wonder of a beauty
Dem two were beautiful
Inside and out
And the third
Built on their foundation

And we continue
To cycle it back

Cos the third
Procreated even more beauties. who will make the third’s ceiling their foundations

And so it is
When two becomes one

I am a wonder
I am beautiful
I am loving
I am. I am. I am
All that the REAL I AM
created me to be.

Living life
one day at a time
Unassuming
Effacing the unhappy moments
The temporary stumbling blocks
Moment by moment

Happy Birthday to me 🎂🍰

Gurl, you’ve come a long way
But still more to go
Diamond in the ruff
Stamped with Father’s Seal
Not in a hurry
Cos Abba is working it all out
For my good

Happy Happy Birthday
To the mystery in Christ Jesus
Who is me

Celebrate with me if you please
I got Susie Cakes
You bring the candles
And your bottle of water
Or cuppa tea or coffee
It will be the bestest party ever

Cos I’m just happy today
And nothing can take that away

Glad I woke up with a smile
Happy the sun is out
And la playa is just a throw away
I can choose what I want
I am Queen for the day.

Happy Birthday to me. Said it with a prayer 🙏🏾 I hope you will too.

Have I Spammed Your Blog Site? This is Why?

I learned yesterday that I had being “Spamming” other bloggers’ sites (obs). I read Olivia Lucie Blake’s post, “How to support other bloggers,” and it disheartened me to realize that I might have spammed her and others unintentionally.

If I have visited your site either as a follower or randomly via Readers’ Discover or Following, and have “spammed” you, please forgive me.

The blog stated, among other things, that one spams to seek attention. Here’s my comment on the site:

“I love your posts, Olivia, though I don’t stop by daily as much as I’d like. Your posts are informative. This post is both good and interesting. I do what you’ve tagged as “Spam” not because I want or need the attention but because I’ve been away and missed the site/owner. I will usually stay on sites and posts I like when I have ample time in a bid to make up for the lost days so to speak. Loving all missed posts and liking other peoples’ comments (opc) on another’s site, from your post, connotes Spam. Though it’s now made me realize that others don’t see that (my actions) the way I do. It takes the fun and appreciation of others contributions away. There were opc I resisted liking as a result. Please let me know if I misunderstood. 😍”

I hope that the comment speaks for itself.

I love blogging and loving on other bloggers as much as I possibly can when time permits. The chief among those whom I have “spammed” is Banter Republic. He has been a sport not complaining either he realizes it’s clean support or he’s simply being a gentleman.

I was also on Kwoted on Friday and spent ample time reading, liking, and commenting on posts and opc. Kathy good-heartedly responded to all my comments.

I have also being “spammed” a few times and have never taken it negatively. I also have someone with the same photo but different site names visited my site several times. Though I checked the sites out, I hardly dwell on their actions or intentions.

I’m sure that we all agree that supporting one another is essential and motivating. Liking and commenting on other bloggers’ sites (obs) and opc is my way of such support. If I have visited your site and or commented on your comment on obs, and you object to it, please feel free to let me know. It was done with clean heart and totally in love. One person’s meat is another’s poison so I do understand now that not everyone welcomes it. But how am I to know since there are no rules or laws governing such, short of acting decently and ethically.

True that the actions of a few have necessitated grouping all together, it’s still nice to give each other some benefits of doubt.

I am content with who I am and where my blog is presently. I’m presently blogging primarily to share, having fun at it, and definitely not an attention seeker.

Nonetheless, it’s good to know and I’ll resist the urge to comment on opc or several posts at once on obs going forward.

Love and Peace

Unrequited Love

Credits: Unsplash / S. Ruvalcaba

How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back? Thanks to Think Written for the writing prompt.

Love ought to be reciprocal. Yes? Right? Remember Teddy Pendergrass’s 50/50 (or is’t 70/30 or 60/40) love song? Who wants to be the one holding on to the 30 or 40 in a relationship when better is imminent or probable? Only a few exceptional instances will qualify; like a parental love. Even at that, some parents have been known to be justifiably callous or exercised tough love. (A post for another day.)

For today’s post, Unrequited love in any relationship sucks.

Sometimes we equate love for all the other things such as infatuation, lust, passion, crush, or simply lasciviousness. These can emanate from one or both people and we eventually find ourselves in unrequited love.

Unrequited love in any relationship sucks and is a mental torture.

ThinkerTalker

It may have begun as a requited affair or of mutual consent, but along the way, things and life happened, people changed and eyes strayed elsewhere, and left our love unrequited. It becomes troubling. Gazillion questions run amok in our minds chiefly resting on two “what did I do to deserve this or the change and straying?” and “where did I go wrong?”

Effects of Unrequited Love

The receiving person (of the unrequited love) does what most people do; internalizes, withdraws, and blames self for the other person’s unbecoming attitude. Unfortunately, the embarrassment is blatant to all leaving one feeling unworthy, sapped confidence from ours and others reactions, and our esteem turning low. We feel deserted, betrayed, and left alone to deal with it. You got yourself into the situation, now how do you get yourself out?

What do you do?

What do you do? Do you stay put trying to win the other person back, make excuses, or do you leave with or without packing your bags and say “hasta la vista?!”

Is it escapism or humanism to blame ourselves for other people’s shortcomings? Is it as a first stop of self-reflection or second-guessing ourselves that we are less deserving of better? Everyone reacts differently. However you react and whatever it is,

  1. First admit your part – how you got into the relationship. It’s time for deep reflection. Most often, the handwritings were on the wall, but passion or desire blindfolded you from clarity,
  2. Ask for forgiveness. It is the first step to wholeness. Better yet, forgive the other person because it is only then you can be objective in moving forward.
  3. Ask God for help. You need Him more now than ever. It’s definitely not a time to be mad at God. “Why didn’t He stop me?” “Why did he allow me?” Or better still, “why didn’t he knock him/her on the head to wake up?” Remember, or if you don’t already know, there’s the permissible will of God where He allows us to do what we desire as a result of our resistance to where He’s steering us.
  4. Ask family and friends also for help. Still, it’s not the time to be mad at them for not telling you. There’s another time for that.
  5. Don’t run (or jump) prematurely into another relationship.
  6. Give yourself time to heal. It is only then that you will most likely not repeat the experience.
  7. And finally, be wise and seek God before starting or getting into the next relationship.

I am so grateful that God is not a man.

Unrequited Love towards God

Now imagine how Father God, your Creator feels when His love is either ignored, unwarranted , or unembraced. Lack-luster love towards God is the epitome of unrequited love. We’ve given Him no love at all, while some have only given Him the minimal. God is holding on to the 30 and 40 of our love while wishing you’d give Him the 100. Yet He loves us so.

But I am glad that God does not abandon us when His love is unrequited. Every other unrequited love pales significantly in comparison. God is there all along patiently waiting for the day we will wake up to realism (the doctrine that universals have a real objective existence) and our need of Him.

Wake up or Woke

And so it is as well when we find ourselves in earthly unrequited love. We allow ourselves to go roller-coasting through all the e-motions until realization steps in. We can humbly or boldly state that “I’m better than this and deserve the best.”

So whosoever is not returning your love, woke or wake up, and know that you deserve better. There might be a reason. Maybe it is the “invisible hands” blocking him/her from seeing the beauty (I don’t mean the physical/facial) God created and he/she is being prevented from blocking your real soulmate. Just maybe because all things are working together for your good.

Remember God loves you unconditionally. He loves you today, loved you yesterday, and will love you forever. Embrace His love today and now. He is waiting on you to return His love; turning the unrequited to Requited Love. Isn’t that what we all desire?

Have you experienced unrequited love (loving someone who doesn’t love you back) and would like to share? Please do so in the comments. Thanks

Monday Notes: Being a Woman: Facts and Receipts

Being a woman feels like being everything and nothing all at once. It feels like being the gender who bears children, but not being the …

Monday Notes: Being a Woman: Facts and Receipts

Sharing #K.E. Garland’s post published in March. Please check out her site for other awesome posts.

Just came across this post, Being A Woman: Facts And Receipts, by Kathy, my Internet Sista. Though it’s not Sharing Thursday, the post is an everyday post worth reading and worth making an exception.

There’s still a lot to be said and done regarding what it feels like being a Woman.

There are cultures that would ignore blogs such as this with a flip of the finger that “it’s just another feminist talk or movement.” But, if those folks were born of women (alleluia we all are!), sounds to me that they’re unconsciously flipping their mothers and sisters off. Ouch did I just write or typed that, but who would want to do that? Sorry, my phone made me do it. This is serious though. Better and re-educating needs to be done by these cultures and the folks allowing the absurd treatment and relegation of women.

Come to think of it, if there are two genders and one is being relegated and/or silenced, which of the genders is responsible? I’m just thinking out loud.

Please read and contribute your voice(s) to the betterment of women everywhere. As Kathy stated, “we have work to do.” Oh, yes, we do. Let the work begin now. Thank goodness we are not where we used to be, but we are still not where we ought to be regarding equality and women.

Bucks-Nets’ Game 3 was electrifying!

Absolutely electrifying. It was the game that had been expected of the duo. From start to finish with Giannis Antetokounmpo scoring nine points, and Kris Middleton scoring six, in the first few minutes, it proved to be just what every basketball lover was waiting for.

Team Milwaukee got a mouthful from Sports Analysts and fans for their Game 2 performance where they allowed Brooklyn to dominate unchallenged. But they showed up tonight with their best and strong defensive feet, setting the tone early till the end.

Bucks led the first quarter at 30-11. But Nets returned to the second quarter and took the lead at some points, ending the quarter with 42-45. A few ties in the third quarter and a 67-65 end. Fourth quarter was a ball-for-ball possession game till the last stretching minutes.

Game was very physical with lots of contacts and unnecessary floppings. Must be Playoffs, right?

Also, how does one explain fearless Greek Freak Giannis spending thirteen seconds at the free-throw line? He timed out again. Just shows that the best of us has a struggle (aka weakness) in at least one area.

It was scary watching Kevin Durant (KD) take the last shot in an attempt to tie the game and send it to overtime. Noted for his snipe-like deadly shots, KD narrowly missed the basket making Team Bucks a winner for the night’s Game 3. Would have been terribly disappointing otherwise.

Giannis and Kris Middleton combined for 68 of the total 86 Milwaukee points. Jrue Holiday made the shot that gave Bucks the critical edge while P.J. Tucker and Brook Lopez were the effective defensive sports on KD and the rim. Overall all players contributed and gave fans what they expected.

Nets players admitted that they just didn’t make the necessary shots. Unbelievably though, Nets Coach said that “it was a hostile environment.” Hostile? Um. I’d say that it was a home court advantage. What do you think if you watched the game?

Would we see James Harden return as a helping hand for Nets for Game 4 and will Team Bucks be able to repeat the performance? Leave your comment if you please.

How to jump rope for exercise, safely and effectively – The Washington Post

common jump-roping injuries include calf strain and plantar fasciitis, both of which stem from calf overuse.
— Read on www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/jump-rope-exercise-safe/2021/06/01/ce822b52-c2f9-11eb-9a8d-f95d7724967c_story.html

Alternative Exercise: Jump Roping

Hey good people. It’s Sharing Thursday. This is an out-of-the-community article that I feel is worth sharing. It’s about Jump Rope and Jump Roping.

Yes , Jump rope and Jump roping? [smile]

Jump-roping is a popular exercise/activity amongst younger kids, mostly girls. I remembered those years in middle and high school on the playgrounds and fields. But we all (or rather, some of us) forget all about it on becoming adults.

Athletes and exercise enthusiasts also incorporate jump roping as a part of their exercise regimens.

I laughed when I took the photo of the box. I had kept it just in case I had to return it if the digital didn’t work, but I now use the box to store the rope though it cane with it’s own small storage bag.

Jump roping was another activity that I picked up during the lockdown. (#Safa, #OneIndianGirl) I love to jog and walk around the block or trails, but there were days when I didn’t feel like being outside. So I started jump roping and incorporated it with jumping jacks which I’ve always done. It changed me and all excuses were gone. Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not a size 2 lady. I exercise to keep fit (no sedentary lifestyle, definitely no eating all those foods and having them sit in my tummy (though I still have a few in there that needs to melt away), and no walking up the stairs and panting).

I do fifty (50) of each (jump-roping and jumping jacks) and do 3-5 reps depending on how enthusiastic I’m feeling for the day.

Benefits

  • It is a total body work.
  • According to the article, it has both physical and mental benefits.
  • Best cardio.
  • Doesn’t cost you much except you’re looking to buy a high-end one. (I won’t say that mine is a smart one, but it does have a digital inset that lets me know how many calories I burnt and time spent jump-roping.)
  • Improves your speed, coordination and agility.
  • Builds bone density and prevents osteoporosis.
  • Builds endurance.

Downsides

As with everything and the law of duality, the downsides of Jump-roping, though minimal compared to other exercises, and per the article, include:

  • Calf strain and plantar fasciitis, both of which stem from calf overuse
  • Jumping too high could make you dizzy
  • Sprain to the ankle is common. Wear comfortable performance shoes to avoid this.
  • Avoid concrete and grass.

Read the article for more, including how to select a good Jump Rope. I hope that you find the article helpful. Leave a comment to let me know.

Loving Basketball: #1 Team “Spida” Mitchell on fire!

It’s the kind of game worth the money to watch if I were in Utah for Game 1 of the Round 2 Western Conference Playoff between #1 Utah Jazz and #4 LA Clippers.

The overall 2020-21 NBA leader defended their title and proved that they rightly earned the #1 position.

Starters and benchers of both Teams contributed amazingly. At the end of the night, Leader Spida Mitchell stepped up and carried his team to a 3-point lead victory, with Rudy Gobert’s last minute rejection of what could have been a tying-shot. It was thrilling four quarters.

New Jazz co-owner Dwayne Wade (another of my fave players, now former), with spouse Gabby Union, were there to cheer the Team.

It’s sure going to be an exciting series. Looking forward to Clippers’ fierce comeback on Thursday. Make sure you watch it.

Loving Basketball: The Big Three are Nasty!

Excusez-moi, monsieurs! Qu’est-ce qui se passe?

What I envisioned to be a game of the titans is turning out to be an embarrassing game of mismatch to watch. Pardon me, but it appears that Giannis and Team Milwaukee are proving to be no match for Brooklyn Nets’ Big Three of Kevin Durant (KD), Kyrie Irving (KI), and James Hardin (JH); Big Two for Games 1 and 2 since Harden exited at the onset of the series. I can only imagine if he was playing.

The Nets rout Bucks, without resistance, in the second game leading by almost 40-points. Game 1 was sort of a sampler. I had thought that Bucks will resist and show up for Game 2. But was I wrong? Glad that I didn’t bet on it because I could have lost money big time.

I love to watch a game of equals and I had thought that there wasn’t much difference in NBA’s 2020-21 #2 Team Durant/Brooklyn Nets and #3 Team Giannis/Milwaukee Bucks. But watching Games 1 and 2 of Round 2 of the Playoffs, and particularly Game 2, proved that the difference and disparity goes beyond the numbers and thus me wrong.

I’ve always loved Kevin Durant (KD). The boy’s got style on the court. He’s so slick and plays the game with such unbelievable ease. So when he was acquired by Golden State Warriors (my favorite Team), I was elated. And he proved his worth earning the back-to-back MVPs. KD’s on-court countenance also changed compared to his time with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Too bad that we (GSW/fans) couldn’t keep him longer.

Anyhow, KD seems to be on a roll for a championship as it appears that this might be a sweep if Milwaukee is unable to bring their A+ game on Thursday and fight back. I hope they will. In basketball nothing is impossible as we saw with the Dallas Mavericks and LA Clippers.

On edge waiting for this duo’s Game Three … till then

Love and Peace.

The NBA 2019-20 Champions were Defenseless tonight!

As you may have heard, LA Lakers are out of the Playoffs. The 2019-20 defending Champions showed up on the court tonight against the Phoenix Suns defeated even before the game started. It was depressing to watch. I wonder what happened in their locker room just before game time.

Phoenix Suns on the other hand showed up to win. What with Devin Booker lighting up from the onset. He had 47 points tonight!

Congrats to Suns and on to Round 2 to face Denver Nuggets.

Playoff Round 2 will surely be spectacular to watch.

Results of Round 1

Round 2 Brackets

Congrats to all Teams moving on to the Second Round of Playoffs and thanks to the other teams for putting on their best for the seven games.

Loving Basketball: And Yes, Giannis-Bucks Won!

The game was over no sooner I submitted my last post. It is official that Milwaukee Bucks are the first team to win the first round of the 2020-21 NBA Playoffs. They defeated Miami Heat with a hard 4:0 sweep; 120-103. Game four actually started with Miami leading well into the second quarter. But you know, a 20-point lead or deficit in basketball is no longer new; it’s still can be any team’s game. Not that Heats led with that many points though; they led by ten in the first quarter at one point.

Anyway, it was a SWEEP. Bucks came with the broom, brush, RoboVac, and suctions for the cleaning business. The sweep seemed like a vengeance from the start till the finish. Hopefully, it was all ‘just basketball game’ though a few instances didn’t appear so. What with a Miami Heat’s player on Giannis, while lying on the court after he was fouled, whispering “__” to him that was caught on camera and got him a technical?! Some said that stuff like that comes with the territory especially in Playoffs or Finals games. Um, I don’t know about that. My take is that it does not have to resort to that.

Last season, too, had Giannis so provoked that he head-butted someone. I’ve never seen him lose his cool like that. They all trying to get under (or into) each other’s head and skin.

This time around, Giannis came with a renewed and recharged mental toughness fitting for the leader he truly is. He and teammates made a statement putting on the classic show.

Giannis and his team have ample time to rest between games while waiting for the next team and Round 2. Bucks will play the winner of Brooklyn Nets (Kevin Durant et al) and Boston Celtics (Jason Tatum et al). Will be another spectacular round.

Congratulations. I am so happy for the Bucks Team. ThinkTalk is cheering you all the way.

Loving Basketball: Will Giannis and Bucks be the First Winner of Round 1?

Credits: YahooSports

What a difference a year makes! Remember the two Eastern teams to face off in the second round of Playoffs last season? Milwaukee Bucks and Miami Heat?

They are at it again. Only this time, it’s a different ball game.

The two started this season’s Round of Playoffs. It’s been a Milwaukee dominant show since Game 1. As at now, Bucks is leading the fourth quarter (101:90) after a slow and momentary lead by the Heats. Will it be Heat being cooked and given their own dose of (fill-in-the-blanks). Can’t wait to find out. Please stay tuned.

So you think you’re ready … how is your E-Emotional Development

PEMFESS+P: The First E-Emotional Development

A lot can be unpacked as regards Emotions. Your emotions impact every area of your life. It is your brain and feelings connection. When fully grounded in the emotions, other areas will be positive. Similarly, out-of-control emotions negatively impact other areas of one’s life. This does not mean that you suppress those emotions though. They are there for a reason. It merely means that you give them the right balance of how to appropriately express yourself at the right time. However, if you are one to have emotional outbursts, now is the time to work on them before those emotions get you in trouble.

As an example, I used to work where an Executive Manager would throw the desk phone at someone or the wall when he was angry or work wasn’t going his way. The last time he did it unfortunately the organization’s Chief was walking into his office and had to duck. The Executive was asked to resign or be fired. Such behaviors are unacceptable especially for a leader in private or publicly. Neither would such be acceptable in marriage.

The development of our emotions begin in infancy and involves how we express ourselves in the good, bad, and ugly situations. It involves self-expression, using our words positively rather than our fists and name-calling, self-control, etc. What, and how, you do when you’re fearful, angry, or sad, feeling sorrow or hate, or are excited. Do you wear your emotions on your sleeves? Do you throw tantrums and everyone around you have to walk on eggshells? Or do you suppress those emotions in an attempt to be “nice.”

Your Emotional Development is the difference between being proactive and reactive.

“Children who grow up in a less nurturing environment are more likely to have an unstable emotional foundation – affecting the rest of their lives.”

Being proactive and seeking counseling or therapy will be beneficial in unpacking and dealing with any covert or overt childhood emotional or traumatic experiences. The earlier you identify the need for counseling or therapy sessions, the better it will be for your emotional wellness and stability.

This is the time to deal with any emotional wounds so you aren’t carrying those baggages along with you in life and into your marriage.

You must have achieved a mastery of some emotions as an emerging adult, while other emotions will continue to develop. Also, being aware that the brain is not fully developed until age 24 (some say age 25), explains the irrational and/or immature behaviors of emerging adults, which includes you.

What emotions do you exhibit when you’re happy, sad, angry, frustrated, afraid, etc. What or who brings those emotions to the surface? How do you handle yourself when those emotions surface? We all obviously gravitate towards affable personalities and those who gives us a smile or use kind words. Are you any of this?

Identify those emotional habits that need to change and begin working on them. You’ll be the better for it.

Helps for Your Emotions

  • Sleep is essential and therapeutic. A good rest and sleep helps us to express ourselves calmer. I hope that you make rest and sleep a priority.
  • Good and balanced diet is also essential for your emotional development. “A hungry lady is an angry lady” is true. Ensure that you feed yourself healthy and timely meals.
  • In addition, I cannot overemphasize the need for your physical exercises. Having a trainer is good, but unnecessary in my opinion. Neither do you need to purchase expensive exercise gadgets. A 30-minute or more walk or run round your block at least thrice a week is all you need. The gym membership, exercise gadgets are merely extras.
  • Laugh or Smile. Yes, laughing and smiling not only slows aging, but is also a stress reliever. Also freely laugh at yourself; it won’t hurt much when others laugh at you.
  • Meditation. I meditate in the Word of God. Some choose yoga. Find what works for you and start doing it.
  • Remove yourself from toxic environments and people. Don’t linger in such merely for the sake of friendship or because you need the job, especially now that businesses are opening up after the long closure due to covid-19.
  • Surround yourself with positive influences.

Once you cultivate these habits, they’ll become a part of you that will be difficult to forego going into marriage.

Master Your Emotions

We all love the happy and positive emotions and want more of them. However, we will not be human without the negative emotions. We just hope that we have less of the negative ones. So, what do we do when certain negative emotions surface?

  1. First, dig deeper and find out the root of the emotion. Is’t really the person or incident or there’s an underlying, untended, and untreated reason. Am I just having a bad day? Is this a one-off emotion or recurring given the person, place, or thing?
  2. Once identified, deal with the root.
  3. If it still persists, have a talk with the person
  4. Changing your perception of the person, place, or thing is also helpful. Not reacting, but redirecting the emotion. Also, choosing to see something positive in the person, place, or thing to replace the negative emotion is also helpful.
  5. If that fails, remove yourself if possible from the person, place, or thing.

Our emotions impact our mental abilities. Stay tuned for the next post on Mental Development.

To your holistic beautiful self and higher emotional intelligence 😍

References

Of In-Laws and Out-Laws

In-laws and Out-laws
Every where and no where
Where did they come from
And why are they so named?

Is’t all about benefits?
One thinking
You brought more
While the other
Supposed you’re taking benefits away.

Whose benefits anyways?

Didn’t God say
He or she
Would leave you some day.
That some day is now.

But In-laws and Out-laws
Suppose they’re never
Coming back again

Why make my life miserable
Just because I married
Your son or daughter

Can’t I just be?
Can’t I just be?
Can’t I just be?

The In-laws are good
Some are great
The best are those
Who welcome you
With open hands
And open house
They know
They’ve enlarged their family
With your addition
You are the daughter they never had
Or the other son they always wished for.

Their son or daughter’s happiness and peace
Is theirs also
No bother
Just mothering
And fathering
Just totally loving
They love their son
Or daughter
And have no choice
But to love you
Cos it’s one big happy family.

Out-laws. Out-laws. Out-laws. Must be so called for a reason
They never want you in
They don’t care. They compete with you for that son or daughter’s attention
They forgot
You also came from
Somewhere, someone, and some family
But care not they.

You wonder why
Because

The Out-laws think
You’ve come to steal their precious son or daughter
They banish you from everything familial
And strip you of all spousal benefits
As they vehemently guard against your happiness
Thinking you’ll leave soon
Little did they know
You’ve come to stay.

In-Laws and Out-Laws
Please love your daughters-in-law And sons-in-law
Like you love your
Very own Son or daughter
Hate your daughters-in-law And sons-in-law
And you’re
Hating your very own son or daughter.

Do remember Your son or daughter will join another family too.

I know

You all have a mutual connection
Whom you all love
If we all love
Life and marriage
Would be great

I love you anyways
You’re my second mother
And father
And sister
And brother
And family

Together,
We’re all
One big happy family
If we leave
The Law out if it.
The Law is the problem
But we can overcome it,

Let’s all be
In
In-laws, not Out-Laws.

Why is Gray Divorce on the Rise?

What is Gray Divorce?

Divorce among adults 50 or over is known as gray divorce.

When it comes to marriage and divorce, focus has been on the younger adults for so long. That focus is now shifting, or shall we say, has shifted. What’s up with that?

Age does not equate maturity in any area; else one could have concluded that the older one is in age, and marriage, the better. Or, the longer one knows one’s spouse, understand one another, the less likely they are to divorce. This is not so. According to the Pews Research, the divorce rate has doubled since the 1990s.

“In 2015, for every 1,000 married persons ages 50 and older, 10 divorced – up from five in 1990, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics and U.S. Census Bureau. Among those ages 65 and older, the divorce rate has roughly tripled since 1990, reaching six people per 1,000 married persons in 2015.” The 2020 data is not yet available. The report also states that “a fair amount of gray divorces do occur among couples who have been married for 30 years or more … including about 1 in 8 who had been married for 40 years or more.

What is going on?

Reasons cited for gray divorce have included:

  • Being unhappy
  • Love lost / met someone new
  • Cheating and adultery
  • Wanting freedom
  • Lack of emotional support
  • Lack of connection after the children leave aka empty-nest syndrome
  • People change resulting in change of values
  • A lack of common interest
  • Lack of respect.

Are men being more selfish and self-centered?

Despite the reasons / excuses given, my take is that men who have been married longer take their wives for granted. Women have been noted to age faster than men before age 50. And, generally speaking, it is more common for a man to marry a much younger lady (at least 20 years and over) than the reverse for a second marriage. Having been married long, men put on the aura that their “wife isn’t going anywhere.” For the most part this is true, but they don’t stop there. As a result of this attitude, they begin to take the woman for granted, going out “with the boys,” coming home late, taking irregular and arbitrary solo travels or “business trips, including starting affairs and expect the wife to accept it. This is unfair and selfish of men who indulge in such. Any wonder why despite having been married for so long that the woman who won’t take it, opt for divorce?

Monday Financial Nuggets: Prenups and The Rich and Famous

It is yours, mine, and our money blog. Since I’ve being blogging on pre-marriage, I thought to research on pre-nuptial agreement (also known as prenups) because the main reason for it is to protect one’s money and assets before marriage.

“A prenuptial agreement (“prenup” for short) is a written contract created by two people before they are married. A prenup typically lists all of the property each person owns (as well as any debts) and specifies what each person’s property rights will be after the marriage.”

Read more about pre-nups here.

It’s all about money.

Personally, I do not like prenups. I feel that it is preconceived, could be manipulative, that the one who initiates it has a hidden agenda unbeknownst to the other, and places the initiated in a rabbit dark hole. However, having read some articles, there are a few valid reasons that the prenups could be a wise thing to have. One of such that I agree with is, is having one to protect children from a previous marriage, without which properties or money left on death of a former spouse would be contested, conflicted, and could eliminate those children.

I also found an article on the rich and famous’s divorces. What it cost them, financially, to divorce. It is an interesting read. Read here.

Well, I hope that you acknowledge that divorce is a painful process for everyone involved; not only for the married (but soon-to-not) couple but also for family and friends.

Is there anything that can be done differently to avoid divorce? I hope that the Pre-Marriage Self Development Series is helpful for ladies contemplating marriage. I also hope that the Series helps ladies enter marriage smart and with realistic expectations. The F-Financial Development piece of the Series is still a couple of blogs away. Stay tuned.

Jesus Ministry: God is a Spirit

What is a Spirit?

There are thirty-one (31) different definitions of a spirit in Dictionary.com. Only 3 of these will suffice for this post.

A spirit is “a supernatural, conscious, incorporeal being, especially one inhabiting a place, object, etc.,” or “having a particular character,” or “a divine, inspiring, or animating being or influence. Numbers 11:25; Isaiah 32:15”.

When written in initial capital, we refer to the Spirit of God or the Holy Spirit. My best definition of the Spirit is contained in the scripture of John 3:8:

This scripture helps us to understand that the Spirit is a wind; you feel His presence but don’t see Him.

What does “God is a Spirit” mean?

The saying that “God is a spirit” is a noted scripture (John 3:8) among Christians. My interpretation of the phrase based on personal experience is that, to experience God, you have to engage with Him spiritually, not merely verbally. Knowing God is more than just expressing it. To know Him is to have a relationship with Him and He with you. You wake up, and before going to bed at night, wanting to spend quality time with Him. Just as with our earthly relationships, when we desire to spend time with the people/friends we love, so it is with our Father in heaven.

How do you know God?

  • First, as a Christian, it’s by invitation and accepting that Jesus is Lord; not the just because “my parents are Christians and so I am” kind.
  • Then, it’s about reading His Word, the Holy Bible, and engaging Him in a conversation by His Holy Spirit.
  • Obeying His Words and commands
  • Choosing to walk holy; being in the world but not of the world (John 17:14, 16)
  • It’s also about being baptized in the Holy Ghost (1 Corinthians 2:12)
  • And spending time in His presence.

From spending time in His presence, God ministers to you, reveals different sides of His attributes to you, while gradually changing you in the process, and begins to give you His spirit. This explains why some things that you used to do pre-Christian, and which are not in accordance with His will for you, gradually begin to fade away.

No one has seen God at anytime (1 John 4:12), but we know He exists. He is not an image, though some carve images to symbolize Him. That’s idol worshipping. He is also not a tree or an animal. He is their Creator and we worship the Creator, not the created or creature.

Because we consciously or unconsciously take on our environment, time spent with Father God begins to change us to be like Him. When you cultivate a relationship with God, you feel Him and He speaks to your spirit man.

Finally, we worship Him with psalms, hymns, and praises. The best worship is daily keeping still in His presence for a few minutes, no talking or singing, just listening and being still. This is how you worship God in spirit. The Father seeks such to worship Him (John 4:23c).

My dear, how do you fair in your Physical Development?

The first P in PEMFESS+P is Physical Development

The average lady contemplating marriage is an emerging young adult between the ages of 20 and 30. Granted that there are a few outliers depending on culture, race, and or other demographics, a majority of ladies will marry sooner within the age range than later. According to the 2018 U.S. Census Bureau, the average age for females to marry in the U.S. is approximately 28 years old and 30 years for males. The age might be different in other parts of the world. This age range, up to age 40, falls under the young adult category.

As an emerging young adult, therefore, my dear lady, sister, daughter, you’re still “between adolescence and full-fledged adulthood,” still trying to establish your own autonomy and identity. You’re still developing in many areas of life, including learning to differentiate your likes, dislikes, and probably what you want out of life. It is therefore important that you identify the critical areas of development for yourself first before joining with another in marriage.

Plug-In for your Parents

If I may seize the opportunity to put a plug-in for your parents. As a parent, too, they were responsible for you till a certain age which may have been high school or college level depending on their culture or financial capabilities. Thereafter, your development is all yours; that’s why it’s called self-development, in case you haven’t figured that out yet. It helps nobody to blame your parents for what they didn’t, or forgot to, do for you. If anything, it will be to your advantage to be appreciative of whatever they were able to contribute to your life thus far. This might keep them on your corner longer, and especially for the wedding (smile). Here on, the journey is solely yours, though you will have them on your Board (of Directors’ team) cheering you on the sidelines, if you choose to.

I feel better penning that. I’ve observed a lot of “entitlements” from young adults that are both misplaced and unnecessary. Moving on …

Though your physical body system has reached its maturity, there are still age-related changes taking place in your physique. One of such changes, called “primary aging,” are “the biological factors such as molecular and cellular changes,” while the other is called “”secondary aging” which refers to aging that occurs due to controllable factors, such as lack of physical exercise and poor diet.”

Primary and Secondary Aging

Let’s start with the biological factors. It will behoove you to be cognizant of any known medical issues, for example, heart attacks, strokes, sickle cell, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc., in your lineage. Identify them and do your part to avoid or mitigate them, if possible. The earlier you know them the better. For example, I’ve heard that two sickle cell (SS) carriers must not marry. What are your tendencies of being a candidate of any genetic medical issues? What are you doing about the issue?

Other questions to consider are:

  • How often do you see your doctor?
  • Do you take your annual physical exams seriously?
  • Do you have any ongoing medical issues?
  • As a lady, are you fertile and capable of procreating if you both decide to have children? Do you have any latent or recurring reproductive (or gynecological) issues?
  • Do you exercise?
  • How about your weight – are you comfortable in your own skin with it?
  • How about you diet? Do you watch the quantity and quality of your food intakes?

Your physical development also involves your sex life. Are you presently active? Infertility is a big issue, can be stressful, and destroy a marriage if not divulged at the onset or handled with empathy and tact.

Do you smoke, use recreational drugs, or drink alcohol. As a personal experience, I was a smoker (cigarette) before marriage. My boyfriend was aware of it. But after marriage, he no longer was willing to accommodate the habit. He put unnecessary pressure on me to quit, but the more he did, the more it stressed me and turned me more to puffing. I eventually had to ask Father God for help (yes, I wasn’t a Christian at the time but had an awareness of God). He finally answered me, took it away, and I haven’t returned to it since.

You are at your physical peak as a young adult; probably looking gorgeous, lean, good skin, and eating healthy. I sincerely hope that you are. What would you do to maintain all that, not only now, but even after marriage?

Taking great care of one’s self is the difference between having two ladies of the same age; one looking ten years younger while the other looks fifteen years older. Of course, there are a few exceptions where DNA can be blamed, right? Also, take care of your body now so that it can take care of you later.

Physical development is critical for everyone. What sustainable physical development strategies , goals, or vision do you have in place for yourself? For example, I have to exercise 30 minutes a day at least three days a week, I have to take a beauty rest once a week, I have to go for my annual medical checkup and eye test, etc. If you don’t have one, or have never thought of one, now is the time to think through it and come up with it.

To your holistic beautiful self 😍

References:

  1. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-lifespandevelopment/chapter/lesson-8-introduction-to-early-adulthood/
  2. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wmopen-lifespandevelopment/chapter/physical-development-in-early-adulthood/
  3. http://kolibri.teacherinabox.org.au/modules/en-boundless/www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/human-development-14/early-and-middle-adulthood-74/physical-development-in-adulthood-287-12822/index.html
  4. https://www.koyalwholesale.com/blogs/modern-diy-wedding-trends/2019-average-age-of-marriage-for-man-woman
  5. https://www.liberty.edu/courseapps/book/psychology-201/module-6/section-1-title/physical-development-in-emerging-adulthood-the-prime-of-life/

Loving Basketball: 🥵 Golden State Warriors’ 2020-21 NBA Season is Over?!

Two painful losses for the Dub Nation in the Play-In Tournament fighting for the 7th or 8th Seed, first against LA Lakers and tonight with the Memphis Grizzlies, substantiates the fact that some outcomes in life just don’t make sense despite your BEST efforts.

It’s the second time Warriors will miss the Playoff after winning the Championship thrice, with one back-to-back.

As a fan, the losses hurt. I can only imagine how Steph and team feels.

But for a team that started the season with only eight players (due to injuries) for the first twenty or so games, coming from last and second-to-last team, to now be in the Play-In, despite the loss still needs to be commended.

Well, on to next season. Hopefully, we’ll have Klay Thompson, who’s been out since 2019, back and be back to our Championship form.

Step said “It’s weird going out like this … we gave it all the gas we had in the tank.”

Thanks Dubs for a great season!

Of Marriage and Divorce

They found each other
after experiencing others

On the dating field of romance, heartaches, and false promises
No other could match up

It was nice that
They experienced those
Just to wait for each other
And to know that they wanted none of the others.

They were meant for each other forever
They were meant to be, to meet, and to enjoy the bliss
Just the two of them.

They wanted to stop the clock from chiming and telling them the day was over

Their beginning was beautiful
They started out right
Enjoyed each other’s arms and might
They couldn’t have enough of one another
As they wanted to make the most of the moments with each other.

He asked her before taking any action
And she loved waiting to hear his thoughts on her decisions.

Oh what a heaven on earth

They got married
And began doing life together

Marriage was beautiful
They couldn’t have asked for more or better

“Marriage is honourable in all ...”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

On the outside
They were promising and progressive couples

On the inside
They were trying to maneuver
this thing called life and marriage
But at least they were trying.

Then, the children came
The friends’ list expanded
The in-laws visited
The families invited themselves
The neighbors stopped by

Some left as soon as they came
Some stayed a little longer than they wanted them to

But boy oh boy
Seemed a little of each of them left with their boundless guests.

Work got working
Babies got kicking
Bills got higher
Stress seeped in unannounced

Health gave them a notice
hey friends, you need to clean up your slates”

They got weary
And left life little things undone

And suddenly

She was hurting
But he couldn’t see the pain
He thought all that was now necessary was to work to pay the bills
What happened to their usual getaways
And the annual vacations
All seemed to have vanished

Why wasn’t she no longer enough for him
Why doesn’t he call her again when he’d be home late
Why leave her out in the cold
To follow others
Why are his eyes roaming around
when the peace is right beside him
And the beauty is inside his arms and house waiting for his arrival.

Weekends are spent away from each other
The one doing what he or she wants
Except for the children’s noises
One couldn’t tell there was any soul in the house.

The friends, in-laws, families, and neighbors who came are living happily
But alas they are both languishing in hurts, pains, and misery

You weren’t supposed to trade places

Those people now see them
And look the other way

Do they know a thing or more?

Oh honey
You two need to talk

And yes, they talked
but not to or with each other
They talked instead
to and with the friends, families, and guests
Those who no longer really know them
But who still viewed them as they once knew them

That was part of the problem
My friends.

So, one wrote a note to the other
Guess who did
But “oh you’re too late”
I filed for divorce
You’ll be getting it soon.

What happened
What happened to the bliss and laughters
What began sweet, beautiful, loving, and peaceful
Has disintegrated
To hatred, ill-wishes, and bickering

Families split
Friends taking sides
The children taking solace in other things than their loving parents.

You dropped the ball somehow

Is this the end?
Whoever said something good can’t last forever

Is there an avenue of escape
Why believe the lies
And think that the grass is greener elsewhere
Could it have been tuft
Or miracle gro
Or they did their part to water and nourish their garden daily?

If you can’t stop this from falling apart

My friends, you can’t stop any other.

The difference between
A successful marriage
And one ending in divorce
Are many

Ever heard of
Mutuality and Communication
And Value
That is, valuing each other over and above those people who aren’t really in it with you;
And Prioritizing
Friends, there’s a lot we can prioritize about each other;
Ever heard of Respect, too
Or Praying or Faith or Wisdom?
I’m sure you’ve heard
Of Love
Because you both started there
But my friends
Love is nothing
Without the other attributes
Together they make the difference between
Marriage and Divorce.

“... because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. ...”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:8-9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Don’t Make These Morning Mistakes

Your morning routine can set the tone for the rest of your day. So don’t do these things when you get up!
— Read on www.webmd.com/balance/ss/slideshow-morning-mistakes

It’s Sharing Thursday; day that I love to share others blogs and articles that I find helpful, interesting, innovative, or just plain informative.

I’m sharing #WebMD. I have followed the site and have found numerous helpful tips from it. Here’s one such on habits that we need to break. The tips are simple and commonsensical but alas I find myself in couple or so of the habits.

I have some morning habits that I have grown accustomed to. Like you, I acknowledge that the bad habits are harder to break. But try, we must to break them if they’re doing us more harm than good. So, I’m still working on my bad habits and hope you are, too.

Happy reading.

My dear, so you think you’re ready for marriage. How do you fair in these areas?

There was a time when there were no books on marriages nor on pregnancy and having children. Now there are ample books, including scholarly non-fictions and numerous blogs, on both topics to choose from.

I join to blog my perspectives, and to propose areas of development, for ladies before embarking on the journey of the most controversial institution of marriage.

Is marriage for everyone?

I’m torn in my answer to the question. There’s a part of me that remembers and answers according to Matthew 19:11-12; see below. And with that would say that marriage is not for everyone. There’s the other part of me that says “how do you know if you haven’t tried it.”

This post is for those who desire marriage. Being fully cognizant of the fact that nothing in life is guaranteed, after all you’re only one part of the union, I pen in the hope that being prepared and intentionally developing one self signifies that you are doing your part towards having the marriage that you desire.

So, you think that you are ready for marriage. Are you really? How do you fare in the following areas? Let’s find out.

You have a boyfriend and are going steady. You believe that you are in love and that your boyfriend loves you. That’s great because mutuality is key in a relationship. But I’m sorry to disappoint you by letting you know that love alone no longer sustain marriages. If you’ve been listening to the news, marriages are falling apart not after the first five years now, but after having been married for decades – 10 – 27 years! What happened to the love? Your guess is as good as mine.

Self Development

Self development is lifelong. However, I have noticed that most ladies don’t self-develop themselves for marriage. I didn’t because I wasn’t aware of the need to and nobody told me that I had to. In retrospect, I wished now that I did. I didn’t even go through a pre-marriage counseling as I wasn’t married in a church. Anyways …

I’m proposing an intentional self development for pre-marriage. I hope it’s beneficial to those who embrace it.

Ladies, you must intentionally develop yourselves in 6, plus 1, main areas before deciding to marry. The earlier your self development starts, the better you would be in marriage.
The foundational areas of self development which I believe are essential, for ladies, for a successful marriage, not in any particular order but merely to form an easy acronym, “PEMFESS + P” are:

  1. P – Physical (nutrition, health & wellness)
  2. E – Emotional (emotions/maturity) / M – Mental (of the mind toughness)
  3. F – Financial (yes, money)
  4. E – Educational (college is still important)
  5. S – Social (connectedness)
  6. S – Spiritual (higher connection)
  7. P – Productive / Work (job or business).

I believe that the above areas will develop you holistically and help build a strong/er foundation for your marriage.

The seven areas are interrelated. A success in one does not necessarily equate a success in the other, but a failure in one will definitely affect the other.

Read along with me as we think and talk through each area. To be continued.

Closed Doors

Have you ever experienced a closed door? Did you wonder what’s behind the door and why it is closed? What did you do?

A Door is an opening to a thing or place. It gives you entrance to that thing or place to walk through and into it and fulfill a desire or a mission. A simple example is a car door; you have to open it to get into your car to drive to a place you intend to go, like a grocery store to purchase groceries. From your groceries, you either stock up on items and or prepare a meal. Similarly, think of your home’s doors and especially the main entrance doors. You and those you grant access to have to walk through it into your home. But you and them can’t except you open the doors.

A door is any means of admittance, access, or gateway. You can open and close a door.

You can open it to give access to yourself or whoever you choose to allow in. You can also close a door to keep intruders out. With the car door example, you have to lock it up when not in use or it’s parked anywhere outside your home to help prevent break in or deny access to some unauthorized person from driving off with it.

Metaphorically, an open door symbolizes a new opportunity, beginning, or new season, while a closed door symbolizes the end of a thing, season, or project. It could be anything or anyone from a relationship, to buying a car or home, even renting a place, a job, business, or that person whom you want to marry or are married to. It could also mean that someone or something is blocking one’s entrance to a profitable or fulfilling business or opportunity.

A Closed Door symbolizes denial of admittance, access, and bars unauthorized entry. It’s restrictive, private, exclusionary, and symbolizes rejection. We’ve all heard of closed door meetings. At work, some job opportunities are also tagged “closed promotional.”

A door can be closed by:

  1. you,
  2. the enemy, or
  3. God.

If You Closed the Door

You can close a door on yourself either because of uncertainty, impatience, immaturity, or ignorance. You can also close a door as a result of a bad or negative attitude or habit such as laziness or procrastination. Once you realize your folly or mistake, repent and simply open it back. How you open it back depend on what the door symbolizes for you. Straight up admitting your ignorance or mistake is key. Sometimes tact is necessary.

When The Enemy Closed the Door

I need to clarify here that we do not go about looking for the enemy, but scripture tells us that “the enemy is busy roaming around looking for whom it may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). May it not be any of us. We’d be naive to think that just because we walk uprightly and love everyone, we’ll get same back. Doing so assures us that the enemy’s attacks will not prevail but … another post for another day. Segue into the topic …

When the enemy closes a door on one, I have realized that many people are unaware. They are however aware that the closure does not make sense. And they give up easily and move on when they should bombard heaven (my alternate way of saying “earnestly pray”). Ask yourself “what’s behind the door and why is it closed?” and pray concerning it. Often the enemy is trying to prevent one from starting on a new season or beginning that’s full of promises. Walking away, giving up out of frustration would mean that the enemy won. Don’t give up easily my friend. Pray. Pray. Pray. When the enemy shuts a door, praying and fasting will often re-open the door.

When God Closes the Door

However, when a door is closed by God, there’s nothing one can do to open it; no knocking, banging, kicking, crying, praying, nor fasting will cause the door to fling or slightly open. This is the main difference that let you know that the closure is of God. You simply submit the closed door to Him. However, many stay put and continue to knock, bang, yell, and kick. I have observed many folks doing the reverse of what they ought to do when the enemy or God closes a door.

Surely there’s a reason when God closes a door. Because He knows the end from the beginning, God already knows that your walking through the door will not be beneficial for you in the long run though it seems good to you momentarily. He also knows that it does not align with the plans He has for you, a knowing that you are oblivious of but will become obvious sooner or later.

So what do you do

When you experience a closed door

  1. First pray to identify who closed the door
  2. Once identified, follow the actions laid out above; that is, if the closure was by you, repent and open it; if it’s the enemy, pray and if necessary fast to get the door to reopen; if God closed the doir, surrender it to Him and ask Him to reveal what He has for you instead
  3. Forget the closed door if you’ve done all that you know to do, Another door (opportunity) will open unto you sooner.

I, like many, have experienced many open and closed doors over the years. Most doors open to us of their own accord despite ourselves. For example, my first job out of college was with a company I really wasn’t “looking for” but was a company that gave me the strong foundation that I needed for my career. At the same time, the company that I desperately wanted to work for rejected me. I prepared hard for the interview but was turned down after the second interview. I have also wept over a few closed doors but in retrospect was glad the doors remained closed despite my insistence and prayers. Unfortunately, yet there are closed doors we might not understand why – those are simply God’s sovereignty.

What, if any, closed door have you experienced? How did you handle it?

Loving Basketball: Woohoo All 30 Teams Playing Today!

It’s a day of basketball starting now. All 30 Teams playing today – 15 games!!! It’s Pre-Play-In which starts on Tuesday. Some teams (6 from the Eastern Conference and 5 from the Western) have clinched a Playoff seed, but a few teams need to win the game today and the Play-In to qualify for Playoff.

If you’re in the U.S., check your television local and sports channels for correct times. You can also subscribe to the NBA Station for individual games or all games. Happy viewing.

Praying for all Teams.

Loving Basketball: 2020-21 NBA Season, Play-Ins, and Playoff

What a Season! The 2020-21 NBA Season has been quite interesting. What with covid and a lack of fan-fare. We must commend all the players for continuously entertaining us despite being in lockdown away from families and their fans. Yay yay yay. I hear your mutterings – they are only doing their job after all the big contracts and pay packages. True, but I believe that they could have opted out of the lockdown conditions during covid and still be legally or contractually un-liable. Well, what do I know; I’m just speaking from my heart. I am however glad that they didn’t and chose to play through it all.

The 2020-21 NBA Season started in December 2020. Now, it’s down to the wires as the Season officially ends on Sunday. Under normal circumstances, we would have known the eight teams that made the Playoffs which starts a week from Saturday (May 22nd). But since the Season’s circumstances were abnormal, there is a Play-In Tournament to determine the 7th and 8th seeds. The Play-In, starts before the Playoff Tournament, on May 18 through the 21st and, according to the NBA, “will include teams with the 7th through 10th-highest winning percentages in each conference.”

Is the Play-In an exception as a result of covid or does this become the NBA Playoff norm? We will find out sooner or later. I bet the ninth and tenth teams, given the opportunity to play-in, are glad, but it might be one game too many for the current seventh and eighth teams.

It has definitely been an interesting Season to watch. On the Western Conference, what with the 2019-20 Championship, LA Lakers, regressing from the #1 Team, and Golden State Warriors once the #15 team advancing, to both now needing to win to clinch a Playoff seed. Likewise, the Eastern Conference has seen an impressive Miami Heat already clinched the #5 playoff seed, while the once indomitable Boston Celtics is in the same boat as their Western Conference counterparts, LA Lakers.

No one team retained the #1 spot on either the Eastern or Western Conference throughout the Season. However, the Utah Jazz has maintained the #1 spot for the Western than any other, while the Philadelphia 76ers are currently Eastern Conference #1 seed.

Of course, playing rigorous, and sometimes heart-wrenching, 72 games took its toll on some of the players and some teams a lot more than others. See this current injury list of all teams. Understandably. Here’s wishing a speedy recovery to all.

Life Lessons learned from the NBA Games

  • The greatest lesson learned, cliched as it may sound, is that nothing lasts forever. Never say never.
  • The other lesson is that resilience pays. Just watching the teams and players not giving up; one game after the other, was exciting sometimes playing through pain.
  • Grace was present for those players who merely and naturally were themselves and played for the love of the game, rather than for showbiz.
  • Opportunity might only come once in certain instances. Always be ready and prepared – no excuses. Watching how bench players had to step in and up. If they missed that opportunity, they get replaced or don’t get another chance for a long time. I wish that Coaches could give other players more playing times so that they can easily step in when the noted and more famous starter-players became injured. This one puzzles me all the time as it looks so simple, but I wonder why it’s not implemented so. I’ll love to know what the reason behind this is. It takes a few back-to-back losses for a team to recoup itself after an injury to the main player.
  • Basketball is a team sport, but sometimes it only takes one player to make the defying moment of victory. Often times, it is the least-expected player that makes it happen.

The next few days are highly expectant. I know it is for me. ThinkTalk wishes every team the very best.

How do you Feed your Skin?

Most of us feed our body a lot of junks out of ignorance or just plain bad habits and choices. What we feed the body reflects externally on our skin. Some skin types, where age or use of beauty products are not a factor, are soft and glowing while others are dry, frail, and flaky. Unbeknownst to us, what we consume might be the reason and it violates our other personal daily hygiene routines.

Here’s a short quiz, from WebMD, to help answer a few questions about what you’re feeding your skin. The WebMD site has ample medical and lifestyle resources, including answers to questions that you might forget to ask your physician. I learned couple of things from the quiz and I hope you do too. Click here for the quiz (8 questions); don’t forget to read the comments after your selection for more insight, and click the [Next] button to jump to the next question.

  • Do you know the outcome of eating too much sugar, besides getting type 2 diabetes?
  • We’ve all heard that our bodies need 8 – 10 cups of water daily, right? But will drinking a lot of water keep your skin healthy?
  • How about eating chocolate or nuts results in skin breakouts, especially for ladies before their monthly guest. But do you know what else is capable of triggering an acne breakout? You’d be surprised to find out.
  • Does being a vegetarian or vegan make your skin better-looking? What can you eat to make your skin less oily?

The above and more are what the Quiz addresses.

As we mature in life, as a result of the number of our years on earth, our lifestyle choices change either as an intentional choice or a wake-up call. One of my intentional choices is veering away from oily foods and especially fried chicken 😊. I don’t know about you, but black folks everywhere love fried everything especially chicken and fish. I used to as well, but now choose to grill or broil more instead of frying. It is an intentional act. As much as I love to make my own salad, it often goes to waste after a couple of days, and I don’t believe in buying fresh salad from a restaurant every day – one could easily spend $75 – $100 per week just for it. But I substitute with other vegetables; carrots, broccoli, asparagus are my favorites. Some weeks I’m not sure if I fed my skin enough nutrients. But, with other lifestyle choices such as exercising, mental, and spiritual development, we can feel rejuvenated and have the soft and glowing skin.

What choices are you making to feed your skin better?

Of Mothers and Sons

Traditionally, and because of physical and gender roles, sons gravitate towards their fathers and daughters towards their moms. Occasionally we get a few outliers in families who defy the norms. Such is the case with daddy’s girls and girl daddies. To join these exceptions are Mama’s Boys and Boy Mummies. Boy Mummies abound everywhere but are not as popular as Girl Daddies.

Who is a Mama’s Boy?

A Mama’s Boy is simply a son favored or loved by, or a man devoted to, his mother. The term can connote both a healthy and an unhealthy form. However, it is more of a negative connotation to be addressed as a Mama’s boy.

It is a good thing to know a Mama’s boy because he has been trained to understand and cater to ladies, their whims, and fancies. He will be a good friend, empathetic, and domestically supportive. It is not unusual to see a Mama’s boy carrying his girlfriend’s purse or tote bag in the public or in the kitchen “correcting” her on how to cook his favorite food. A Mama’s boy calls his mother several times in a day and runs all his plans and decisions by her before making them. If Mama says “No,” Mama’s boy doesn’t challenge it. It is a “No.”

Unfortunately this sort of behavior makes him unhealthily dependent on his mother when, as a grownup man, he ought to be making life decisions for himself. It also does not allow him to think for himself nor make him the man he ought to be.

A Mama’s boy is always looking for a girlfriend or wife patterned in the image of his mom; who cooks, dresses, or does things that he likes just like his mother. Statements such as “that’s not how my mom does it,” “my mom cooks _______a lot,” “mom always does this and that” are not uncommon to be heard from Mama’s boy.

Most Mama’s Boys marry late in life or never marry because every girl has to pass through his mom’s scrutinizing eyes and unfortunately cannot measure up to her standards. Mama’s boy live hard to please their Moms.

Marrying a Mama’s boy, without the man setting boundaries, mean that there will be an unhealthy competition between the women in his life. The marriage becomes a triangle as the mom unabashedly acts as the other woman and as if the wife has come to steal his son. The question of who comes first becomes an issue. This ought not to be.

Boy Mummies

It’s equally the same with Boy Mummies. They call their son practically every second to run ideas or decisions by him before embarking. This sort of relationship exists when either the father is physically absent, dead, present in the same house but mentally and emotionally checked out because love is lost but for whatever reason neither wants to go through a divorce. The mother is needy and unconsciously or otherwise gets emotionally dependent on the son. According to researchers, “unhappily married moms develop a special emotional synchrony with their sons.”

A healthy parent-son/-daughter relationship will be for the parents to desire for their sons and daughters to be happily married, if they choose to. Not for the parents to be at the center of their sons or daughters marriage or family. No parent should “compete” for the attention or time of their son or daughter over their spouses, irrespective of whether the parent likes their son or daughter’s choice. The only exception should be for emergencies.

Unfortunately the man is unawares of the damage the unhealthy dependence on both sides is doing to him and his marriage as he misconstrues the attachment as being important to his mom.

There is a BIG problem when a son starts buying the same items for both his wife and mother or when there is always a conflict in the house every time the mother visits aka the mother-in-law syndrome.

Can a Mama’s Boy Change?

Yes, but only if he first acknowledges the unhealthy dependence and is willing to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes it takes his children to bring it to his attention to effect a faster change.

Final Note

We all love our parents and believe that the love is reciprocal in that our parents love us too. There are instances when parental love has been known to be conditional such that parents only love those children who care for them or shower them with presents and affections. This is also unhealthy. There might be reasons beyond the other sons and daughters’ abilities to reciprocate love in financial terms. Love should be unconditional and should not determined by money. However, when the love bothers on unhealthy dependence or inordinate affections, we need to pay attention and establish boundaries. It does not mean that we love our parents less nor that the sons love their moms less.

Of Poverty and Of Riches

Poverty is not only of economics
It is more than your finances

Poverty is a mindset
It is how you see yourself
How you think
It is how you do all the things you do

One can be spiritually lacking
Not having any higher guiding you

Which is different from, and the opposite of, the beatitudes’ “poor in spirit.”

One can be relationally poor
As in having no social connections with anybody

One can be mentally poor
As in thinking below one’s creative being capacity
Or as in always thinking negatively

One can also be educationally poor
As in not being able to relate to self-training or development or constructing self-imposed ceilings over one’s learning abilities and capacities.

One can attend school or college
And yet still be educationally poor
As if the school/college did not pass-thru the person

One can also be emotionally poor
As in emotionless, having low or no emotional intelligence, or
As in inability to connect with one’s environment and others’ emotions.

Still one can be physically poor
As in being of sedentary lifestyle, lacking physical activities for fear of breaking a limb.

We can be spiritually, relationally, mentally, educationally, emotionally, physically, and of course, financially Rich.

Both again, I say, are mindsets.

Better to have the holistic mindset
Than be narrow-minded.

A lack in one area
Is as one’s life is on a
One-legged walk thru life.

Which area of your life
Needs to be reviewed or elevated
To higher levels
So that all will be in alignment.
Bring it up higher
I AM is calling you higher
In those areas.

Will you accept the call
To be holistic
And bring higher all areas of your life?

Jesus Ministry: Call to Pray

If I shut up heaven
that there be no rain,
or
if I command the locusts
to devour the land,
or
if I send pestilence
among my people;

if my people,
which are called
by my name,
shall humble themselves,

and pray,
and seek my face,
and turn from their wicked ways;

then
will I hear from heaven,
and will forgive their sin,
and will heal their land.

Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attend unto (their) prayer
that is made (fill-in-the-blanks)
‭‭

2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:13-15‬‬

Happy Mother’s Day

To Mothers everywhere and particularly those in the USA and other countries celebrating today:

May you continuously be blessed for all that you do

May His grace continuously be sufficient for you

May His Peace continuously rest upon you

May His arms continuously wrap around you

May you know that you are a gift to humanity.

And May you allow yourself to be cajoled and pampered today

Happy Mother’s Day.

Cooking with Unmis: How do you like your Rice?

Fried Rice

Jolof Rice

Curry Rice

Steamed Rice

There’s also Coconut Rice though, in picture, you won’t be able to differentiate it from plain steamed rice.

Types of Rice

Converted. Parboiled. Jasmine. Basmati. Whole (Brown). Long Grain. Medium Grain. Short Grain. Wild Rice. Japanese Sushi Rice. Calrose Rice. Nigerian Ofada Rice.

Know any other types of Rice? Add in the comments.

Any which way you like your Rice, cook and enjoy it with some creativity. Try pairing Calrose and Ofada or Parboil and Converted. It gives a different taste. Enjoy your Rice your way with sone vegetables or by garnishing it with chopped onions and a tablespoon of oil.

“I was busy but not fulfilled.” Are you, too?

Anyone could have said that statement and it probably wouldn’t have made such an impact as it did when I had it from the 43rd President. To say that I was stunned was an understatement!

I just heard Mr. George W. Bush, former President of the United States of America and former Texas State Governor, made the above statement during a short interview with Ernie at TNT’s Inside the NBA. I believe that Mr. Bush was referring to his job as President as being unfulfilled. He also said that he didn’t think he could paint until he read Winston Churchill’s book. He then said “if he (Churchill) could paint, he could too.” He started his artistic journey in 2012.

He was at the Dallas Mavericks’ pregame and got to be interviewed on his new book “Out of Many, One: Portraits of America’s Immigrants.” A book in which he painted 43 portraits of the immigrants he talked about in his book. One of such is Dirk Nowitzki former NBA Dallas Mavericks Star. Understandably because the former President is from, and resides in, Texas.

Who would have thought that being the President of the United States of America was unfulfilling? I could have understood if he said that the job was stressful but that he loved it.

There you have it people. If you thought that you were alone in dutifully showing up at work for a job you despised or are not fulfilled, now you know that even a former President was in the same boat. Brings me to the question: “but why do we do it?”

Why do people stay at an unfulfilling job or one they hate?

I think the main reason is because people depend on the regularity of their paychecks. Paycheck is a good reason to work a 9-to-5, but never a good reason to stay, especially for too long, at a job you detest. It’s not healthy and affects one’s wellbeing in the long run.

Contractual obligations. Some are locked in as a result of having signed term contracts
and feel that the cost of terminating the contract outweighs their health.

Fear of not being able to get another comparable or better job opportunity elsewhere

Fear of leaving or not knowing where to start especially if the person has been at the particular job for a long time. Which leads to

Fear of the Unknown. Playing it safe though it’s hurting. We’ve all heard the saying that “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” Why does anyone want to stay with the devil? There is no concord with belial. Fear is torment and will keep one locked up on that job when better is calling them somewhere else.

Job Security. Similar to above … affects those who have stayed longer on-the-job and are vested. Non-managerial positions would also have some seniority perks. Leaving such jobs would mean that such people may have to restart and work their way back up at another company.

None of the above reasons might relate to Mr. Bush. His reason might have been any or all of Power, Global Recognition, and aspiration to the highest possible public office position. A position he held for two terms, yet unfulfilled.

What other reasons do you know or have heard that makes people stay in unfulfilled jobs or jobs they hate? Are you currently in an unfulfilled job or one you hate?

Of Fathers and Daughters: Part 2 – Girl Daddies

This is the continuation of the topic, Of Fathers and Daughters. This post focuses on the Fathers also known as (aka) Girl Daddies. The first part talked about the Daughters; Daddy’s Girls. Check it out here.

Girl Daddies

Girl Daddies are everywhere, among cultures, races, and industries, but was popularized on the death of Kobe and Gianna Bryant. Prior to their unfortunate demises, late Kobe was quoted to have called himself a Girl Dad during an interview he once had with Vox: “Girls are amazing,” he told the reporter. “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a girl dad.”

I love the popularity (or movement) of Girl Daddies because it brought fathers and daughters to the forefront of the society and culture. A latent awareness of the equally important role of daughters and the fathers who are proud of, and supports, them publicly. Yet it is ironic that, on the same planet called Earth some nations and cultures are still not happy with the birth of their daughters and resorts to relegate or kill them!

Who is a Girl Daddy?

So what (or who) exactly is a Girl Daddy? I’m glad you asked again. You probably know one.

First and foremost, Girl Daddy is a father of girls and denotes a loving father’s public affection of his daughter. In a household of all female children, one is particularly acknowledged as the Daddy’s Girl. She’s the one who resembles him either facially or physically (includes mannerisms) and likes or does all that he likes and do.

The Urban Dictionary describes Girl Daddy as “father who wants his daughter (s) to have the same rights, opportunities, and privileges as any boy” and one who empowers his daughter to carry on his legacy

When the Dad shows “favoritism” to one daughter and the daughter reciprocates by showing interest in what he does, asking him questions especially of female-related issues rather than asking Mom, and wanting to “follow in his footsteps,” Daddy treats her as the son he never had.

Girl Daddy is super-protective of his daughter(s), desires that his daughter be tough, play football or rugby to demonstrate that she’s equally capable of any other sports or things that boys do, sometimes Girl Daddy drives their daughter(s) competitively too hard. They also “want to live through their daughter(s). Daddy’s Girls look for men with character traits as their Dad leading to the aphorism that “girls often marry their dads.”

Girl Daddy and Daddy’s Girl both have their privileges. For example, dating or being married to a Daddy’s Girl means that your girlfriend or wife understands you better, that the boyfriend or husband is fully aware that he cannot mistreat Daddy’s Girl and not see the wrath of her Father. Being a Girl Daddy means more loving and better open to understanding and supportive of feminine issues. Daddy’s Girl will always jump to help her boyfriend or husband to change a car tire or work on a house project such as building a shed or painting a room rather than watch or let him do it alone.

Ironically, there are still cultures who detest having girls. Even in the developed societies, some are still determined and sad for not having sons “to continue the legacy.” Some are also prone to thinking that the man is medically deficient for being unable to have sons.

Personally, I am happy to see the wave or movement of Girl Daddies. If nothing more, it cancels out the antiquated culture and thoughts of disillusionment of bearing girls.

If you’re a man reading this post and have daughters, I hope that you see the good in girls, love your daughters, and wear your label of Girl Daddy with pride.

To the rest of us, I hope we support and continue to love all girls, daughters, and Girl Daddies.

Of Wealth and Attitudes

Do you know what determines whether you will be wealthy or not? Or yet, if you’re wealthy, whether or not you’ll be able to manage and hold it?

There is a science and art to wealth and most of us are still trying to figure it out. I do not have the right answer, but I realized that that there is no one thing that determines one’s propensity to be rich. Well, being born into a wealthy family could be one inclination to continue in the wealthy paths if the wealth is passed down and properly managed. Sometimes the wealth is donated to organizations rather than willed to the children. Another inclination is to hit the jackpot. Short of these two, you’d have to work and make your money work for you.

The Science

In making your money work for you, one scientific way is to save or invest. Savings is less riskier than investing. With savings you’re guaranteed your money back, with a meagre extra. Except, of course, there is a bank run. I pray not. But with investing, there’s no guarantees – you can either lose it all or make large sums of extra money from it following a rule of finance of “the greater the risk, the greater the reward.”

But how do we save or invest? Consistently. Consistently setting aside a fixed amount is the key.

For how long? Forever. Excuse me, nothing is forever. Howabout holding for the long run, at least consistently for ten years. Better will be twenty to thirty years, and best for as long as you live.

This is the main secret of Warren Buffet’s wealth after his experience of selling his initial stocks too early only for the stock to quintuple. According to sources, Warren Buffet started investing in stocks at the age of 11.

Undoubtedly, Warren Buffet benefited immensely from the compounding interest (CI) over the long haul. With CI, your money multiplies exponentially. For example, if interest rate is 5% and you invested a $1000, the first year will be $1,050, (note: leaving the same amount in a savings account might only yield about $2-$5!), second year will be $1,102.50, third year $1,157.63, 4th year 1,215.51, 5th 1,276.28, etc.

The compound interest formula is P*(1+i)^n; where P = principal, i = interest rate, and n = number of years. You can plug the numbers on your computer or an Excel spreadsheet to calculate it.

Compare compound to simple interest using the same example of $1,000 at 5% for 5 years, the total interest will be $250.

The difference in this examples are not so great; $26.28. However, the larger the amounts invested, the higher will be the yields and thus become more meaningful sums.

The yields will also depend on if the rates are calculated annually, quarterly, monthly, or daily.

“It is science because investing is a process and art because of the manner in which it is executed.” –

Brijesh Damodaran

The Art

Having the money is not enough. Our behaviors with money; how we view it, including our spending habits, whether we believe in savings, in taking risks or not, will also determine whether we hoard money, donate it, or just like to stare at it in our room, drawer, or safe. Unfortunately, some still don’t believe in keeping their money in the bank. Once the bank is full, do we go on a spending spree or start bragging about it? May God forgive us for either. These sums up our money attitudes and falls under the art of money. Our attitudes towards money is constant irrespective of our salaries or business revenues. Some folks wished they made more money. But I propose to you that it is not about making more, it is about efficiently managing what you already make.

The art of money management can be genetically-inherited or environmentally-acquired by learning from different sources such as friends, from work, or self-taught.

Like everything else, the art of money management (that is, our behaviors and attitudes) can be changed. We can reprogram ourselves if a particular habit is not working. May God help us all to see what areas of our money habits need to change.

Of God The Creator and Satan The Imitator

We’ve all heard and probably know or acknowledge the deity of the Almighty Creator of the universe. He goes by different names, in the Christian spheres, among which are:

I AM. Elohim. Yahweh. Alpha.
Omega. Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent. Ancient of Days.
Jehovah El Roi, Nissi, Tsidkenu, etc.

Other religious spheres call Him by other names. This post is not sufficient to do the ultimate justice of narrating all that God is, but its point is to reemphasize that He is God, the Creator, and there is no other like Him.

In the Book of Genesis, we learned that He created the universe, in six days, from nothing. Though some argue His creations and ascribe it to evolution, I propose to you that God existed before science or evolution because He created it all. Please don’t engage me in any argument regarding this statement. We can each believe what we want or like, but there will come a day and time when our beliefs will confirm His Ultimate Supreme Being.

God the Creator breathe into man and man became a living being. He created knowledge, understanding, and wisdom and gives them liberally to whosoever asks Him for it. You don’t pray to have what someone else has; that’s covetousness and it’s sin. You go directly to Him for any and everything you desire and He’ll give it to you according to the way and manner that He has created and wired you while taking into consideration your purpose. I hope you get that.

Because He is the Creator, He is more than able to create anything. And because we are made in His likeness, we have the capability to create as well. Any wonder why you are a creative being. Wow! Ponder on that for a moment.

God the Creator is not limited to how He does what He does. He can use people, things, animals, or allegories, to accomplish His purpose.

On the other hand, we’ve all probably have heard of Satan, the Imitator. Some are even privileged to know him. Satan goes by other names, too, such as

Devil. The Deceiver. The Liar. The Destroyer. The Enemy, Robber, Stealer. Lucifer, etc.

Satan cannot, and does not, create. But he knows how to destroy what has already been created. He knows how to delay creation if he’s allowed.

We read how Satan came to deceive after creation. Satan is still causing confusion today because we’re allowing it. He’s the author of confusion. The lies, deceits, manipulation, jealousies, envies, etc. are his manifestos. Father God we repent for allowing ourselves to be deceived. God forgive us all.

Satan cannot create. He is a counterfeiter and duplicates. He speaks (or suggests) half-truths such that if you are ignorant of the real truth, you’ll be hooked on his bait. God deliver us all.

Nobody likes to talk about satan. “Why are you focused on the negative …?” Whereas God loves to illuminate our minds and grant us knowledge, Satan loves for people to be ignorant and stay or live in the dark about themselves or an issue. That’s why we need to expose him and his tactics so that the eyes of our understanding might be enlightened (Ephesians 1:18a)

God loves gentleness, humility, meekness, kindness, etc. Satan loves bravado, pride, arrogance, etc. God is Light and loves openness and light. Satan lives the dark and secrecy. Please let’s not confuse secrecy with privacy; they are two separate things. Whereas God uses people to bless a person, Satan uses people, and particularly those that are closest to one, to hurt them.

Some are wallowing, out of ignorance, in deception and the dark. It is by talking about this that they (and we all) can recognize that they have been deceived, lied to, and can be brought out of the darkness. May God deliver such folks and us all.

Next time you do something, pause to ask; “who is this glorifying?” The answer will either propel you to action or stop you in your tracks.

Thanks for reading. Stay blessed

Of Fathers and Daughters: Part 1 – Daddy’s Girls

Know any man who adores his daughter such that not only his whole family (immediate and extended) knows it, but his friends and the world are equally aware of the father-daughter lovely relationship? Such was the love that occurred between late and former NBA Laker Star Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna. Such love is uncommon in a nation known for absent Dads. The beloved duo popularized “Girl Daddy” title for father-daughter relationships.

We’ve also heard Daddy’s Girl which refers to the daughters who are known as Dad’s favorites.

People often say that parents love a particular child over another. I don’t necessarily subscribe to that notion. Even if it is so, parents ought to be wise to not allow it to be apparent as it might breed sibling jealousy, rivalry, and competition. And who knows what else. Joseph’s story and the proverbial “coat of many colors” in the Bible is a true instance.

Good traits of being a Daddy’s Girl

Daddy’s Girl’s are blessed to have a first-hand knowledge and experience of what a man is and can be. Because of their closeness to their dad, Daddy Girls learn firsthand about men; what they do and how they do that which they do. They’d rather prefer to help their dad wash the cars and fix a tire, help with picking up and holding the tools ready to be used, than be in the kitchen with their mommas. Being in the kitchen bores Daddy’s Girls and they don’t understand why meals have to take so long to prepare. “Why don’t we just order pizza?!” is a constant question to their Moms. They are most likely to lean towards studying courses and careers that have been tagged “traditionally male-dominated.” They are also more comfortable in the boys group than their own gender types and have more male than female friends. Whoever said that roles, or anything, should be gender-based anyways? Except, of course being pregnant. They excel in technical and practical projects and activities where other girls fail. In essence, Daddy’s Girls are also no-nonsense strong girls who also grow up to be strong ladies and women. They are unafraid to lead a movement against injustice of any kind. All you need is their buy-in. They are extremely loyal, confident, and independent.

Downsides

Daddy’s Girls can however be plagued with relationship difficulties with both their female counterparts and in marriage. They relate on different planes with their girlfriends, are not girly-girls, feel that girly-girls are too touchy, too vain, and narrow-minded. They also often are perceived as harsh. They can also have difficulties in marriage because they don’t wait on, and for, their husbands to take care of things. They climb the ladder to change the bulb and know how to free the blocked toilet. The husband doesn’t understand why his Daddy-girl-wife wouldn’t cook home meals and prefers to dine out or order pizza. He feels she’s “wasting” money. It is a good thing to be proactive, but Daddy Girl’s proactivity might rub off wrongly on an insecure hubby who might feel that Daddy’s Girl is competing with his turf. Hubby’s insecurity will mar what otherwise could have been a God-sent gift to his life and might lead to or create issues in the marriage. At home, they appear to be competing with their Mom and tend to criticize their mother more than they do their dads. Worse if the woman is a step-mom, it will always be tension and unnecessary conflicts.

Daddy Girls are often misunderstood especially in traditional role environments and cultures and, even in liberal settings, they might be misconstrued as weird. Their “interests are at odds with expected female personality” roles.

Outcomes for misunderstanding Daddy’s Girls

With relationship difficulties, Daddy Girls can coil inwards and start believing the lies that something is actually wrong with their wiring. Except they are wired strong and “unbreakable,” these lies might actually come true and manifest in depression or anxiety or both with its resultant effects on other areas of their lives. They lose friends and wonder why nobody understands them. If no affirmation is received soonest, they might take solace in drugs and or drinking.

Finally

Daddy Girls are everywhere but they are more noticeable in households with predominantly daughters.

Next time you befriend or marry a Daddy’s Girl, please show more love and understanding. They are who they are because of divine wiring; snap a cord out of their wires, and they will be less and disoriented. But understanding them and allowing them to be will bring out the best in them. Build them up and support who they are, but please don’t crush their spirit.

Where would we be without the courage of Daddy’s Girls who have defied traditional stereotypes of daughters and risen to various levels of leadership. Look around and you can distinguish them by the foregoing.

To be continued

Monday Financial Nuggets: 10 things I wish I knew about Insurance

  1. Keeping the life insurance I had when I was younger. Generally speaking, we are all more agile and healthier at 20-30 years old than we are at 40 and over. Buying life insurance at an older age is more expensive. I realized that if I had retained the whole life insurance, I could have locked it in at the former premium.
  2. Buying whole life is better than term. At end of term, one is older and life insurance becomes more expensive. Exception is only if one dies before the term life ends.
  3. Auto insurance is higher for a leased or financed car than for a car bought outright or owned free and clear. This is one of the reasons people talk about preferring to buy used cars.
  4. You get a better (I hate to use the word “cheaper”) rate/premium having the same insurance company for multiple cars, as well as using the same insurance company for your other needs; for example, home, renters, personal, life, etc. It’s called bundling.
  5. That auto insurance companies can use your no-fault auto claims as a potential negligence on your part and raise your premium.
  6. In insuring personal items, keep detailed information and receipt of valuables, as well as take photographs. This will help in case of loss.
  7. Having a fireproof safe box is a good investment.
  8. Staying with the same phone company is good. You can lock-in the plan/price you initially got if your needs remain unchanged.
  9. The essence of having insurance for cellphones, especially when new. The concept is similar to any other insurance, but not necessarily worth it after 2-4 years of owning the phone.
  10. Your good, and long, driving record can get you discounts off your auto premium.

The above are based on my experiences. Insurance companies’ policies do vary. As always, please do your due diligence (research, compare premiums, and ask questions) before purchasing any type of insurance.
Have a financially-wise week.

Jesus Ministry: Peace

Credits: Unsplash / Sunyu

Peace is a state of stillness, tranquility, harmony, or serenity. A freedom of the mind from agitation, annoyance, distraction, anxiety, warring, or obsession. It is also a state or condition available to people and nations, but not all possesses it.

In the absence of Peace, chaos, or agitation, anxiety, fear, and war, is often the order of the day for the person or nation devoid of peace. We all know the repercussions of such anti-peace/peaceful states. They result in confusion, disorder, disorientation, discord, and utter disarray. Without peace, we can do things haphazardly, make decisions in a rash, and take actions that we ought not to take.

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace …”‭‭ (1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:33‬)

I propose to you that it is possible to be in peace in the midst of chaos. It is a state of being and knowing that Hod is in control and whatever has come to disturb our peace will soon surely pass away. We abide in the state of peace by the help of the Holy Spirit. And by asking for it. Seek peace and pursue it (1 Peter 3:11b)

Many desire peace and freedom in their minds but don’t know how to obtain it. As with most life conditions, we can be peacefully born and grow peacefully. But for those of us who were not born or growing peacefully, do not despair, we can be gifted. Because Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22)

I acknowledge that some life experiences could and may have thwarted or disturbed one’s peace, and there are those who have been medically diagnosed with one or more types of mental illnesses or disorders such as anxiety, depression, panic, or some other type of phobia. This post is not to belittle mental diagnosis. God forbid. I acknowledge that it is real. But the post is to offer it as help, in conjunction with any medical, psychiatric, or therapeutic treatments, as I believe that God is able to heal anyone through, and by, His Words.

“He sent out his word and healed them; ...” (Psalms‬ ‭107:20‬)‭‬‬

As a digress, a well-rounded individual will develop him/herself in six main areas. These are spiritually, mentally, financially, physically, socially, and emotionally. (Post for another day)

Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). He left us the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) as our helper in every state. Everything is available to us, but we still have to ask. “He will keep (you) in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in Him.” (Isaiah‬ ‭26:3)‬ ‭‬.

How to: 27 Scriptures To Help

If you desire His Peace, again, you have to ask Him and remind Him of His promises. If we don’t know His promises, how do we know what to ask for?

Fear attacks even the best of us. We can acknowledge that we are afraid, but it’s not okay to stay afraid or fearful for life. You have to desire to want out of the fear. You might know the cause (source or root) of the fear. Great if you do; for example, did you hear something or someone said something fearful or you watched some sad and fearful incident. It’s helpful as it helps to pray specifically against the object of fear. Whether the root of fear is recognizable and know or not, reading these scriptures will help to allay those fears. God’s Words are Spirit and life (John 6:63b). It will not return to God without accomplishing that which it was sent to (Isaiah 55:11). Personalize the scriptures as you deem necessary. For example, “I will not be anxious for anything, I cast my cares on Him, Your peace you left with me, etc. Since we are all different, some might not finish reading the 27 verses before they return to a state of Peace. Others, might have to read them more than once. Read them regularly and as often as you desire.

I have compiled the following 27 God’s Words (aka scriptures or verses) regarding Peace to aid you. They are in the New International Version (NIV). I pray that they minister to you. “May the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” (Colossians‬ ‭3:15‬)

  1. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬)
  2. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬, Psalm 55:22)
  3. I (Jesus) have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. …” (John‬ ‭16:33‬a)
  4. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John‬ ‭14:27‬)
  5. ‭”Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew‬ ‭5:9‬)
  6. “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalms‬ ‭4:8)
  7. ‬ ‭‬‬”May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans‬ ‭15:13‬)
  8. “… And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians‬ ‭4:9b‬)
  9. “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. (Hebrews‬ ‭12:14‬)
  10. ‭”The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”(Isaiah‬ ‭32:17-18‬)
  11. ‭”Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”(James‬ ‭3:18‬)
  12. ‭”When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you.”(Luke‬ ‭10:5-6‬)
  13. ‭… the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans‬ ‭8:6‬)
  14. ‭“”There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.”” (Isaiah‬ ‭48:22‬)
  15. ‭“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans‬ ‭12:18‬)
  16. ‭”Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians‬ ‭4:3‬)
  17. ‭“Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” (Psalms‬ ‭119:165)
  18. ‬ ‭“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalms‬ ‭34:14‬)
  19. ‭“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Romans‬ ‭14:19‬)
  20. ‭“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation (peace) brought me joy.” (Psalms‬ ‭94:19‬)
  21. ‭“For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility,” (Ephesians‬ ‭2:14‬)
  22. “A heart at peace gives life to the body, …” (Proverbs‬ ‭14:30‬)
  23. ‭“When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.” (Proverbs‬ ‭16:7‬)
  24. ‭“Those who walk uprightly enter into (Your) Peace; …” (Isaiah‬ ‭57:2‬)
  25. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”(Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬)
  26. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬)‭
  27. “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” (Proverbs‬ ‭20:3‬)

My Prayer of Peace for You

  • May the Lord of Peace Himself turn His face towards you, give you and bless you with His peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” (Numbers‬ ‭6:26, 2 Thessalonians‬ ‭3:16‬), Psalms‬ ‭29:11‬b
  • May His mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance.” (Jude‬ ‭1:2‬)‭
  • May all your children be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” (Isaiah‬ ‭54:13‬)‭

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭13:11, ‬Romans‬ ‭15:33‬)

Credits: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

Of Girls and Daughters

Why do nations and parents treat or elevate boys over girls, sons over daughters, or males over females? Do they think that The Creator made a mistake?

The One who made them, made them male and female. At creation, He did not state nor gave a divine preference or importance for their roles. Granted that by virtue of their physical creation, familial roles differ, as in only women can be pregnant with the child.

I’m tired and sad of hearing nations that relegate girls, and publicly elevate sons over daughters, humiliating them and, sadder, hearing of the girls’ parents who agree with the labels for their daughters.

There have been nations known for killing girls at birth (gendercide or infanticide). This is murder and perpetrators should be reported to higher nations/organizations such as United Nations. Google to find and read more if interested.

Let’s talk about this and how we can change the ignorance.

This post was inspired by The Mind of Ayesha. I was touched by Ayesha’s post “I Live In One Of The Worst Countries For WomenPakistan.” Please visit her site and support if you choose.

My Own

I also had my own experience still as fresh today as when my beloved late Dad once told me that “no matter my level of education, I will end up in kitchen because that’s the woman’s place.” Who says? I’ve known men who cook equally as great and delicious a meal as women. There are great male chefs out there who will choose to be in their kitchen instead of their wives. Please don’t judge my late Dad in his grave. I loved my Dad and believed that he loved me, but also believed that his statement came from a place of ignorance, machoism, and traditions.

I have two daughters and have never thought that I lacked anything not having a son. I love them dearly and will never trade them for anything. I boldly state that I don’t miss not having a son. The thought never crossed my mind until about two years ago, when one of my brothers, who has two sons, asked me if I ever missed not having a son. Prior to that, noone had ever asked me the question nor had I ever thought of it. It came in one ear and slid out the other until this post. We have to be careful of agreeing with seeds of regrets, doubts, and confusion. If I had harbored the thought, my brother’s question could have triggered these trio and probably boomeranged into more unhealthy thoughts of insufficiency for not having had a son. But thank goodness, the question fell off the same way it came.

To The Nations

To the nations that treat girls as second-class

  1. Where would all mothers be without those girls who will grow up to become mothers some day?
  2. Do you realize that this stance might conjure the boys in your nation to grow into men who don’t respect women, and who in turn will (or not) treat their wives respectfully, and thus breed a revolving cycle of dysfunctions?
  3. Look unto all girls as “your” mother and treat them with love and respect.

To The Parents

To the girls’ parents, home is the first place where we all learn love, acceptance, and affirmations. You are the best support system your daughters can ever have. If you reject them at home because of their sex, it’s as if they should never have been born, you’ve let them down and have set them up for failure. They will experience rejection in the cause of their lives. This can evolve into a self-esteem issue, confusion, and a lack of knowledge (or grounding) in who they truly are. Which in turn breeds a revolving circle of other emotions. Your daughters will have to relearn and develop themselves as adults. Please support your girls. Your support super-exceeds your nation’s and is the best foundation to give to your daughters..

To The Rest of Us

To everyone else, we all either have a sister, a mother, an aunt or have a family member or friend who does. As such we need to speak up and out in support of girls. All children are important and born equal. Keeping quiet only quietly perpetuates the ‘cide. It’s only a matter of time before your silence directly impacts you.

What steps can we take to change this ignorance? Speak up.

What causes the elevation of boys over girls and sons over daughters? Ignorance

What is the cure for ignorance?
Education.

To Every Girl and Daughter

To every girl and daughter everywhere, know and believe that:

You are beautiful and wonderfully created
You are first-class with distinction, summa cum laude; not second or rear-class
You are worthy and needed
You matter and the world needs you
God loves you
I love you too.

Ladies and Their Last Names

Credits: Unsplash / @austinkirk

Is’t necessary for ladies to change their last name on marriage?

Credits: Unsplash / @beatriz_perez

First, what’s in a last name? Or, put another way, what’s in your last name? Some regions call it surname.

Your last name/surname is your legacy. Your DNA.

Traditions

In researching for this post, I found an article on the origin of last names. The article stated that

  1. People haven’t always had last names.
  2. China was one of the earliest civilizations to use surnames.
  3. For many years, surnames were passed down by mothers, and
  4. European last names had many sources which can be put into four groups: patronymic, locative, occupational or status, and nicknames.

Most cultures now take on their father’s last name. People change their first names all the time. I did legally from the long to the short form of my name. But it is rare to change one’s last name.

Marriage and Last Name

In several cultures, once married, ladies take on their husbands’ last name. But is’t necessary? When and where did it start? Does it have to continue unchanged forever? This is not about women’s lib. Let’s reason together. I think it is just a tradition that people are hard to let go of. Falls into the “it’s the way it’s done” and “we’ve always done it this way” kind. Read this article to find out more.

As I write this post, I remembered a guy who five years ago took on his new wife’s last name rather than follow tradition. Of course his family didn’t appreciate him doing that but … Initially, I also was apprehensive but later shrugged it off. Why not? Who says that it has to always be one way?

I recognize that some ladies will desire to change to their married name to showcase their new title/status. Society and sometimes the families (both the maiden and marital) insist that the lady change to her married name. If not, it is viewed as if the woman still wants to “roam the singles’ fields” and is not ready for marriage. That’s certainly not true. The change to marital name shouldn’t be mandated (or forced) for those who don’t desire it.

Divorce and Last Name

Noone married hopes for a divorce, but it happens. The after-divorce is one reason why some women retain their maiden name. Some might connote this as a self/fulfilling prophecy to which I disagree. On divorce, especially in a highly-contested one, the desire to continue to carry the name might not be present. Changing back the last name is easy, but it is a huge hassle to change one’s records (for example, career, academic, professional, credit, financial , etc.). It is not a one-time-take-care-of-it-all thing. You never know when you might have to prove your identity in the future because of the change. So what do ladies do? It’s the ladies’ choice. But if it causes disharmony, err on the side of peaceful agreement. An alternative is to use the maiden-married last name hopefully that soothes both parties,

Daughters of Daughters

Also, daughters easily lose their patronymic identity on marriage as a result of this tradition. What if those daughters bore more or only daughters? This might mean that the maiden last name might eventually be extinct. What do such daughters do? My suggestion is to include the mother’s maiden last name on their daughters (or even all children’s) birth certificates so the last name can continue and because it is an important part of their identity.

What are your thoughts on ladies maintaining their maiden last name, and continuing the legacy of the name, on marriage?

The Mystery is Over

I self-award myself The Mystery Blogger Award as I have blogged anonymously over the year. During the period, I have been asked “what’s your name?” to which I had (I hope, politely) requested to simply be addressed as “ThinkTalk.” I also use Thinker-Talker as my name on most sites. But I did consider revealing a bit of my identity on my Blogiversary when I commented on one post some weeks ago. I’m now unsure whose post it was.

ThinkTalk is the blog of a real, genuine, authentic, but frank daughter of God, called Funmi (long name is “OluwaFunmiLayo”which means God gives me joy. ThinkTalk is a space for all that I represent and would like to see in people and the world, including outlet to share lessons learned over my years on planet earth. I am passionate about some things, love Jesus The Christ, and wonder why there is evil, wickedness, and hate in the world. It’s unnecessary and still believe that there is always an opportunity for light to shine amidst the dark and gloomy.

The original name the site started with was FunmiTalks. Though I liked it, I wanted more focus on the Think-ing than Talk-ing and preferred not to link my name to it. I still prefer the anonymity.

I’m based in the American continent; West Coast of the United States of America. Originally from the oldest continent (let’s see if you know your history or geography) (smile).

I love my privacy, I’m private and an introvert, but the extrovert part of me rears its head occasionally. I concluded that I must be an extroverted-introvert. I sometimes wonder if I need to petition Myers-Briggs because it’s always scoring me as an INTJ; only once did I get an INTP. Well maybe the personality type was true for a while. With maturity and life experiences, I wonder if I have radically changed. Will have to retake the test to find out.

I believe that greater difference would be made in the world if people paused to ponder (think) before talking or acting. Words can hurt, words do hurt, and hurtful words are more damaging than physical wounds. Hence, the site ThinkTalk and its tag “Let’s reason together.” I believe that it’s totally alright for people to disagree, but much better to reason together from the center of our agreement. And that if we take time to reason together, we might be able to understand each other better.

It’s been a year – how time flies

The aphorism that time really flies when one is having fun sums up my blog year with WordPress.
It’s my first blogiversary people and I thank you all, the community, for it. It’s been rewarding doing blog life with you all, my followers, commenters, and likers. Thank you 🙏🏾 Couldn’t have done it without your support. For I recognize that though we write, if none (or all) reads, but none comment or like or share, it is nothing.

It can be frustrating and might cause one to give up. So I appreciate you for flying with me. In the words of the pilots “we know you have options, but we thank you for choosing to fly with us.” I thank you for rolling and flying with me.

My WP Stats

Per the numbers, I had a total of 4,080 (2149 in 2020 + 1931 for 2021) views, 2,485 visitors, 330 followers, and published 233 posts.

I wonder what the difference is between visitors and views. I would consider that one visited in order to view my post and that the numbers should be the same. You can’t view the post without visiting, right? Or is’t possible? Let me know in the comments. I’ll continue to pay attention to those numbers to see if they finally converge.

In 2020, my blog was viewed (and probably read) from 56 countries, out of a total of 196 in the world, with the top five being USA, India, Nigeria, UK, and Philippines. Compared to 2021, the countries went up by 1 to 57 and my top three countries remained constant. However, Philippines was out from the top five and UK dropped to fifth. New top country became Germany at #4! Interesting. Again, if I was in Business, I’d want to know what and why.

233 Posts

There are 365 or 366 days in a year or leap year. Excluding weekends (2 days each for 52 weeks for a total of 104), we are left with 261 days. This lets me know that I blogged less daily for the year. Put another way, I took an extra 2.3 days per month off! Let’s just say that was my vacation. But seriously, I would reconsider those extra days off if this was my business.

As you can see, both from the overall Stats and breakdown of the months, my stats are personally commendable and relative given my input. But equally commendable is the realization that I would meet, and exceed, stats for 2020 (which was only nine months), before the end of the second quarter of 2021. Hoping to continue with similar or on an accelerated pace.

I thank WordPress for including the Stats. I don’t dwell on it, but as a former Financial Analyst, it became significant finally looking at them yesterday. I write mainly because I love to share my knowledge, experiences, and even failures in the hope that it will help, inspire, and possibly steer someone somewhere. The Stats are meaningful especially for those blogging as a Business. Others could benefit from it for other relative purposes.

Does the Stat matter? Yes and No. Yes, because it demonstrates that I am active and growing. No if I’m not interested in the stats nor in converting the information to other purposeful, tangible and/for profitable form(s). Comparing for statistical purposes, I am not where most bloggers are. My Best One-Day Total View of 112 is some bloggers’ singular post view for the day! I have seen younger bloggers (in terms of when they started blogging and not birth age) with much more followers and stats. And likewise seen older-terms with lesser stats. Business world does those comparisons. For now, regarding my blogging structure, I’m in-between and trying to decide which way forward. Time will tell.

Plugs

I seize the post to do a couple plug.

The first is to the real blog warriors. Shout out to all the blog warriors out there who consistently blog despite no views, visitors, likes, comments, or shares. And it is not for lack of qualitative content but can sometimes be linked to some back-end analytics. Don’t give up. Keep blogging because it shows your passion, and I pray that you will sooner be recognized for your relentless pursuit.

The other plug is, if you love the analysis of my Stats, I’d love to do it for free for the first ten bloggers that show interest. I love analysis (not paralysis) and would love to give you an objective view of what your numbers (WP Stat) are saying.

Thanks again for the first year. To everyone responsible, ☕️🧋🫖🥂 🍻 Love you. ❤️💕💙