Have I Spammed Your Blog Site? This is Why?

I learned yesterday that I had being “Spamming” other bloggers’ sites (obs). I read Olivia Lucie Blake’s post, “How to support other bloggers,” and it disheartened me to realize that I might have spammed her and others unintentionally.

If I have visited your site either as a follower or randomly via Readers’ Discover or Following, and have “spammed” you, please forgive me.

The blog stated, among other things, that one spams to seek attention. Here’s my comment on the site:

“I love your posts, Olivia, though I don’t stop by daily as much as I’d like. Your posts are informative. This post is both good and interesting. I do what you’ve tagged as “Spam” not because I want or need the attention but because I’ve been away and missed the site/owner. I will usually stay on sites and posts I like when I have ample time in a bid to make up for the lost days so to speak. Loving all missed posts and liking other peoples’ comments (opc) on another’s site, from your post, connotes Spam. Though it’s now made me realize that others don’t see that (my actions) the way I do. It takes the fun and appreciation of others contributions away. There were opc I resisted liking as a result. Please let me know if I misunderstood. 😍”

I hope that the comment speaks for itself.

I love blogging and loving on other bloggers as much as I possibly can when time permits. The chief among those whom I have “spammed” is Banter Republic. He has been a sport not complaining either he realizes it’s clean support or he’s simply being a gentleman.

I was also on Kwoted on Friday and spent ample time reading, liking, and commenting on posts and opc. Kathy good-heartedly responded to all my comments.

I have also being “spammed” a few times and have never taken it negatively. I also have someone with the same photo but different site names visited my site several times. Though I checked the sites out, I hardly dwell on their actions or intentions.

I’m sure that we all agree that supporting one another is essential and motivating. Liking and commenting on other bloggers’ sites (obs) and opc is my way of such support. If I have visited your site and or commented on your comment on obs, and you object to it, please feel free to let me know. It was done with clean heart and totally in love. One person’s meat is another’s poison so I do understand now that not everyone welcomes it. But how am I to know since there are no rules or laws governing such, short of acting decently and ethically.

True that the actions of a few have necessitated grouping all together, it’s still nice to give each other some benefits of doubt.

I am content with who I am and where my blog is presently. I’m presently blogging primarily to share, having fun at it, and definitely not an attention seeker.

Nonetheless, it’s good to know and I’ll resist the urge to comment on opc or several posts at once on obs going forward.

Love and Peace

Part 2: Following/Unfollowing on Social Media

Following/Unfollowing on Social Media

http://think-talk.org/2021/01/13/following-unfollowing-on-social-media/
— Read on think-talk.org/2021/01/13/following-unfollowing-on-social-media/

My blogging family!

I have questions for you. Please help by answering the following. Thank you!


  1. True or False: Following/Unfollowing is a part of social media terrain.
  2. Is blogging a part of social media?
  3. Do you think Following/Unfollowing belongs in the blogging community?
  4. Why do you think bloggers Follow/Unfollow?
  5. What advice/suggestion do you have for those who Follow/Unfollow blogs/bloggers?
  6. Any advice for those saddened by Follow/Unfollow?

I believe that we all are learning and can glean from each other. Your answers, in the comments, will help us all.

Also share any experience regarding the topic that you might have had.

I appreciate your time and participation. 😍✌🏾

A Rose Just For You

To my WP family and friends

The recognition is all from you. The 🌹 is just for you.

I’d send the rose 🌹 to each person for not only liking my posts, but also following, sharing, and commenting.

But I don’t have your physical mailing addresses for FTD (Floral Direct) or Amazon to deliver to you;

But hope you’ll accept this online roses 🌹, straight outta my heart and specially hand-picked from the Unsplash garden, to you; one for each ‘like’ and share and comment and follow. Please leave some for the next liker, follower, commenter, and sharer.

You make it all worth the while.

Love you dearly my blogging clan!

Popular or Electoral?

Are you following the American Elections or still glued to your television awaiting the results like I still am? Or while driving, tuned to the radio that’s analyzing the American Election results?

If you are, I’m sure you’ve heard Popular Votes and Electoral Votes. What do they really mean as it concerns America’s Election and the ongoing count and results?

Well, remember that I blogged about being “anxious” (something I ordinarily I’m not) about the Election and post-Election. It still bothers me that the feeling is not falling off despite my prayers. I can’t wait for God to reveal the why.

. . .

Well, well. We all know what popular means. It simply means favored by the majority. As in someone being popular, right? The majority of the people like the person. Good.

Please note that not all States’ votes have been 💯% counted. Mail-in votes are still trickling in and will continue to be counted for the next few days.

At the moment, though, the counted election results are indicating that Joe Biden is the popular guy. But, wait a minute . . .

Well, well, well. But what do we know about the Electoral votes? Electoral votes, in the U.S.A., determined the 2016 Presidential Race. As you now know, Hilary Clinton won the popular votes, but Donald Trump won the electoral votes and became President.

“Each state has a number of electoral votes equal to the combined total of its congressional delegation, and each state legislature is free to determine the method it will use to select its own electors.” The numbers are shown on the map below.

Credits: ncsl.org

According to the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL), “the 50 States and the District of Columbia use one of two methods for awarding their electoral votes.” These are either the Winner-takes-all System or the District System. Read more about it here.

For your information, and for the benefit of my non-US followers, there are currently a total of 538 electoral votes.

“The U.S. Constitution specifies that the President and Vice President of the United States are to be chosen every four years by a small group of people (currently 538) who are individually referred to as “presidential electors” and collectively referred to as the “Electoral College.””

Interested in learning more, click here. Hence, the Presidential candidate needs a total of 270 votes to be a winner. Biden currently has 264 and Trump 214. But, uno momento! I hear you say, that’s not difficult, right?

It’s not. But you might not be aware that

the President of the USA is not chosen by a national popular vote.

Read more here.

. . .

We might not know the true and final results for many days to come. What with incumbent President Donald Trumps’ lawsuits. Till then, join me in praying for peace not only in America, but globally. 🙏🏾✌🏾😍

Pyramid of Friendship

I created the above Pyramid of Friendship but had a hard time uploading the file so I did the next best thing I could think of to do; took a photograph of it. If anyone has a better solution for me on how to upload the file, I’d be glad to hear it. Thanks.

. . .

The issue of friends/friendships has been togging on my mind for a while. We call each other friends, but are we really? What does friendship really mean? Who qualifies to be called a/your friend? Is a friend someone who, or barely, knows you? Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to be thought of as someone’s friend and to have someone to call a friend. But who really is a (or your) friend?

Yes, friendship has to start somewhere. And, if we do not stretch out a “friendship” hand, it will never begin.

Real (or True) Friends share some level of intimacy that they do not share with everyone. Intimacy, according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is the state of familiarity and act of “developing through long association; is of a very personal or private nature where you share intimate secrets, including marked by very close association.”

Here is the detail of my inverted Pyramid of Friendship:

  1. Strangers: they are friends you haven’t met or really don’t know yet. That’s where all friendships begin. This level is broad, accommodates all, and shares zero intimacy. If you get to know each other by introduction; sharing the basic demographics such as name, where you live, and occupation or hobby, you move to the next level
  2. Ally/Acquaintance(Casual): here you have a little bit of information about each other and continue to share more demographics such as whether you’re single or married. The level of intimacy is beginning to develop but both sides are still proceeding with caution. This is where/what I call “checking each other out!”
  3. Social / Social media: Social friends enjoy a common interest that ranges from following one another on the social media, love for something like parties, hiking, food/cooking, having fun together, etc., but are devoid of sharing serious life issues. They don’t want to be involved in the nitty-gritty of one’s life or bogged down with it. They tend to be superficial and care only about the fun times. But life consists of both the good and bad and life happens to all. Social friends are those who would tag one as a “drama” queen/king. When you share a little bit of your real self, you never know which way it might go. In essence, social friends are inconsistent. They befriend you today, but are gone tomorrow. They also are quick to join the bandwagon. Level of intimacy with social/social media friends is 1. They know as much as you share with them on your social media pages or during the fun/partying times.
  4. Associates/Colleagues: We spend a third (or more) of our day at work with these group of friends. These are people we have no choice but to deal with. They know the parts of us that we allow them to see or know. We could tag this part of us our professional side. But they are unaware of our real self. Those we care about move to the next level
  5. Friends (Close friends): these group often have known us for a little longer, or we attended school or college together and still maintain the association or are colleagues we choose to continue with after work hours. At this level, we’ve established some level of trust and probably have come to know another member or more of our families. Level of intimacy is growing and is at 2.
  6. Buddy/Best (or Girl) Friends: friendship has grown in terms of time and depth knowledge of one another. This group has first-hand knowledge of who you really are. They see the side you often don’t show the rest of the world. You also know each other’s families; have common interests, and can call or knock on their doors late at night or early morning without feeling guilty. Intimacy level is 3.
  7. Confidant/Confidante (Intimate friends): The optimal level of friendship is the Confidant/Confidante. It is narrow because only one (and rarely, two) people can hold the position at any time.

Level of Intimacy

The level of intimacy is a five-level measurement (from 0 to 4) of trust, openness, vulnerability, accountability, and availability that one shares in a friendship or relationship. At the Confidant/Confidante level, it is at its peak; 4. Not everyone can attain this level because not everyone can hold up to each measurement of trust, openness, vulnerability or accountability and availability required at this level. At the Buddy/Girlfriend, Intimacy level is 3. You can call or knock on each other’s doors probably till 11 p.m. or from 6:00 a.m. the following day.

At the Confidant/Confidante level, however, your doors and phones are always open to one another.

. . .

We all need someone in each level of the Pyramid in our lives but a Confidant/Confidante is invaluable.

Categorize your friendship

Finally, categorizing your friends/friendships will help avoid heartaches. For example, knowing that my colleague is only that (about workplace) will remove the burden from both of us of expecting more from him/her empathizing about my granny or dog dying. Great if they do; that might score with me and move him/her to my next level of friendship. But if they don’t, I won’t lose sleep nor deem him/her as a bad folk.

Please share your thoughts of this post. Thanks for reading.

Pyramid-of-Friendship was first published on Think-Talk.org

The Choices We Make

Credits: UnSplash / Joshua Coleman

Choice is both an act and the power of choosing the best of two or several alternatives. Choice is also exercising care in your selection.

. . .

Daily, we make tons of choices. “It’s estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day … And as your level of responsibility increases, so does the multitude of choices you have to make.”

Over the years we acknowledge that while some of those choices were good, some were bad, and some were outright ugly. We are pleased with our good choices, but regret many which, when we are humble enough to stop and retrospectively acknowledge that those choices could have been handled differently. Hindsight is 20/20.

As Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWall’s book titled “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda” we can unblock the past, move forward, and do things differently.

What things have you been repeating over the years and are expecting different results? Make the choice today to do it differently. Else we could be diagnosed as insane! Because “doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results” equates insanity, right? But let’s demonstrate that we are the ones of sound mind.

Our Choices Shape Us

Do not continue ceaselessly to beat yourselves down for making a wrong choice. Like Abraham Lincoln, we just found or learned another way not to do (or say) some things.

All the choices we make daily, whether good, bad, or ugly, are the experiences that shape us without which we would not be who we are today.

. . .

Do not be ensnared by anger and/or a bad temper (Proverbs 22:24-25). We have a choice. Choose peace and silence. If you do not respond to the insults, noone can accuse you of saying something you did not utter.

None can twist an unuttered utterance

ThinkTalk

Likewise, if you choose to respond using soft words instead of harsh words, you would have defeated the antagonist boiling for a fight or quarrel.

Turning away from a heated argument does not indicate that you are a coward. On the contrary, it is strength under control.

Imitate the pro boxer or wrestler

Do you know that a professional boxer or wrestler is forbidden from hitting anyone outside the (boxing/wrestling) ring? I have had occurrences when I stared at the person who insulted me and simply said, “God bless you.” But, I wasn’t always like this. I matured into it. Not that I was ever a physical person (God forbid that!) but there was a time that I did give the person a peace of my mind; using my words which were often harsh but never my fists. Not any more. To His Glory I have become a new creature. It is an intentional act. I hope that you will also make the intentional act today because you have the power within you to choose right and better. But, I will also be quick to add that not that I have attained perfection, I am still a work-in-progress.

But please do not come looking to tempt me! 😊

. . .

God says “I have set before you life and death … choose life …” (Deuteronomy 30:19). Are you going to choose to be the good samaritan or Judas?

November 3rd, 2020

On November 3rd, 2020, America has a choice to make. All or some of the 50 States of America also have relative decisions to make. We, the people, have elected Presidents in previous years past. We, the people, have a decision to make. We, as people, can sometimes be so forgetful and short-sighted. We neither introspect nor retrospect. We tend to forget the prior four years at the ballot boxes and repeat our mistakes. Let’s not repeat the Saul experiences. My hope is that we will all demonstrate what we’ve learned with past presidents, bills, and propositions, and vote, not merely on party lines, or with our heads, but with out hearts. That we would have done our due diligences not only with listening to the Presidential (or Vice Presidential) debates, but thoroughly reading and analyzing each candidate’s manifesto, including all Bills and Propositions. And knowing deep down in our hearts that we exercised our votes and voted for the best candidate on the ballot.
As a nation, we’ll have to live for the next four years with the choices we make on November 3rd.

Final thoughts

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7, 2 Corinthians 10:7a)
  • The people chose Saul, but God chose David.
  • When the prophet, Samuel, was sent to Jesse’s house to anoint the next king, Samuel thought it must be Eliab because of his physique. But God said, “… I have refused him.” (1 Samuel 16)
  • The king was looking for men of stature to fight Goliath, when David stepped forward, everyone looked at him as a “small boy” and wondered how he could fight the giant. (1 Samuel 17:19-58). Guess who defeated Goliath?
  • Everyone brought their abundance to cast in the treasury and thought they had given their best, but Jesus chose the widow as the one who gave the most. (Mark 12:41-44)

Choose wisely today, always, and especially on November 3rd.

Above all, “… choose you this day whom ye will serve; … : but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua‬ ‭24:15‬)

Thanks for reading. Like, share, and comment. ❤️✌🏾

Praise: Another form of Prayer

“… Praise our God, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small and great.” (Revelation‬ ‭19:5‬)‬‬

Praising God is another form of prayer. Please refer to my previous blog, for more.

To Praise God is to appreciate Him for who He is, for all that He has already done, for that which He’s presently doing, as well as all that He will do! You show your admiration and gratitude expressly and by your actions. The actions will involve the ways you praise Him (see below) which may or may not include rendering an offering (blog for another day).

. . .

Alleluia is said to be the highest praise. In the Bible, Alleluia is only found specifically in the Book of Revelation written by John whom Jesus loved. (Rev 19)

We note in the Book of Revelation that the twenty-four elders, and the beast, bow down after the people shouted this highest praise word. The angels also. The bowing down is paying homage to Him who sits on the Throne. This is the impression of heaven when we praise here on earth!

When Do You Praise

It is much easier for anyone to praise God when everything is going beautifully well – we turn on the faucet and there’s water, click the switches and there’s light, open the refrigerator and it contains food and other essentials, car is running, one is hale and hearty, abundant bank account, everyone loving you, spouse and children also doing great, and life is going as planned. None needs to force a praise out of your belly. This type of praise automatically comes out of your mouth. You daily wake up whistling your favorite hymns with unrehearsed joy. Life is good!

However, what do you do when life happens with the contrarians of the above instances storming your life. It is at this time (or season) of your life that praising God is much more difficult. One finds one’s tongues and mouth tight and unwilling to open to say anything; let alone pray or praise. But, my friend, this is the best time to demonstrate your love to Father God as it becomes a sacrifice offering onto Him. It is a sacrifice because you don’t feel like doing it, but you chose to.

Though He slay me (Job 13:15a), or the fig tree does not blossom (Habakkuk 3:17a), yet will I trust Him.

I believe that this is one of the highest demonstratiion of faith to Father God that you love and trust Him despite your negative circumstance(s).

We should not only pray and praise when things are okay. If this is the only time we smile, laugh, are joyful, pray, or praise, we are like children tossed to and fro and who still rely on milk for food; we are not yet mature in faith.

How would you feel if your children only loved you when you buy them presents and other times, they could care less how you’re doing or, if adult children, don’t check on you until they need something from you? Not nice, right? So, it is with out Father in Heaven.

Praising God is your action that lets Him know that you’re trusting Him for a specific outcome despite life going sideways.

Another time to praise is, when you’ve prayed fervently for something, both in your local and heavenly languages and you’ve taken corresponding action, but the answer seems delayed, rather than continuing praying, turn your prayer to praise for a sudden and speedy answer.

Why Praise

  • Praising often provokes God to move on our behalf.
  • Praising can also be used as a weapon. It confuses the enemy.
  • God inhabits the praise of His people (Psalm 148:14ab). His presence will be felt around you and/or the place of praise.

Ways to Praise God

There are multiple ways to praise God and I do not suppose any form is greater than the other. The following are biblical examples:

“Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.” (Psalms‬ ‭33:2, 150:3‬).

“Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.” (Psalms‬ ‭150:4‬)

“I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth; yea, I will praise him among the multitude.” (Psalms‬ ‭109:30‬)

“I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.” (Psalms‬ ‭26:7, 69:30‬)

Final thoughts

Praising God regularly should take preeminence over praising God only when we need “things” from Him.

Nutrition Facts Label: Should We Really Care?

What are Nutrition Facts Label?

“The Nutrition Facts label is required by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) on most packaged foods and beverages. The Nutrition Facts label provides detailed information about a food’s nutrient content, such as the amount of fat, sugar, sodium and fiber it has.” (Source: Mayo Clinic)

When do you start caring about nutritional facts – Now, Sometimes, or Never?

If you’re like me who can eat anything I want at anytime without any problem. I’m not one to act frenziedly about the daily caloric intake of my food or meal. I’m grateful to be blessed with a petite stature; except that my doctor thinks that I might be overweight because of my BMI. Read my thoughts on that here. Though I watch certain seafoods that I eat, I’m free from any sort of allergic reactions visible or latent in foods, and who humbly says that overall health and wellbeing is pretty good, you might fall into the category of “Never.”

. . .

But wait a minute. All that might change as it did for me when I had some skin issues that were diagnosed as extremely dry skin; not eczema not psoriasis. Thank goodness. The dryness were only on my scalp, which occasionally flared, and certain parts of my body. I got myself a skin haircut and I’m loving it.

Thereafter, I became extremely concerned about what I feed my body. I became particular about nutritional contents of every food and drink; wanting more of certain nutrients and less or none of some.

I began wandering about the validity of nutritional facts. How do we verify the information on those labels? Do they really contain all the items and percentages listed? Except for iron and calcium which are obvious by their outcomes; that is, the “greenness” of one’s excreta and nails growing respectively, it’s difficult to validate the remaining nutrients.

For example, you know that your antibiotics are working when your urine smells like the antibiotics, right, which means its flushing out whatever shouldn’t have been internally. But what about the other minerals and nutrients supposedly in our foods? Do we merely accept the nutritional facts on the labels for what they are?

A, B, Y, or Z?

Anyways … I realized one day that I spent almost thirty minutes comparing the facts on all available milk brands because the store ran out of my usual brand. I went to the store for a quick pick up of milk, so spending that much time to compare was a lot of my time that I didn’t intend to spend. I finally chose one.

Also, at the onset of COVID-19 and the stay-at-home order, most stores were out of Black Eye Peas; my favorite type to buy. Same thing, I compared the nutritional values of every type of beans available. The nutritional information were all pretty similar. Though I tried other types of beans, I reverted to my Black Eye Peas.

. . .

I once blogged about adding avocado to every meal? I thought out one day; “what did I used to eat before avocado?” My daughter responded “beans!” And all present bursted into laughter. I love my beans – you gotta get your protein.

. . .

I also realized that I would compare the nutritional information of almost every available brand of food items before settling to buy one.

Again, I lately compared the nutritional values of jasmine rice and long grain parboiled rice. Imagine how many decades that I have been eating this staple food item only to now woke up to care about the nutritional facts?! I thought it interesting and mused at myself. Well, times are changing or realization of desiring to age gracefully is settling in 😊

By the way, the bag of jasmine rice contained zero nutrients (another brand contained only 2% Iron and 3g of Protein), but the long grain parboiled rice contained the following:

  • 25% Thiamine. • 8% Iron
  • 2% Calcium. • 15% Niacin
  • 50% Folate. • 3g of Protein

That made me ponder why we even bother with the nutritional facts. Growing up, we never bothered. Why now? Well again, times are changing especially with climate and environmental changes affecting produce and what the cows and fishes feed on.

Anyways, since this new “mindfully-healthy me” emerged, I became somewhat obsessed with nutritional facts. I began to wonder about the accuracy of the information we’re given? Are we sure that we’re really getting the correct amount of nutrients? How does food manufacturers know (or measure) the nutritional facts and values? Does anyone “police” food manufacturers? So I went on a search and this is what I found:

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA)

The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) (the government department responsible for controlling and supervising food safety among other things) states that nutritional information “help consumers make informed choices for themselves and their families.”

Nutritional facts are not only available for food items, but are supposed to be provided for menus at restaurants, including frozen and raw foods. I do not remember ever being given or seen any at restaurants though. Let me know, in the comments, if you have seen or being given the nutritional information of the food you ordered at any restaurant.

There are variations of nutritional facts labels. FDA has fifteen posted on its site.

The nutritional facts on labels are conducted via a nutritional analysis (“the process of determining the nutritional content of foods and food products”). According to information found on Wikipedia, there are various types of nutritional analysis; namely,

1. Laboratory analysis

2. Software

3. Online nutritional analysis

4. Turnkey nutritional analysis services.

You can read the full details of the methods here. Based on your reading, do you wonder, as I did, how feasible it is for manufacturers to conduct the analysis for every food item either once or regularly? I’ll love to hear your thoughts.

Click here for additional reading.

Final Thoughts

Nutritional facts on labels are not always accurate. According to a US Health News, “The law allows a pretty lax margin of error—up to 20 percent—for the stated value versus actual value of nutrients. In reality, that means a 100-calorie pack could, theoretically, contain up to 120 calories and still not be violating the law.”

A registered dietitian nutritionist writes that “manufacturers are often dishonest in the way they use these labels. They tend to use health claims that are misleading and in some cases downright false.”

Be your own expert when it comes to your health and wellbeing

Now that you know, be your own expert when it comes to your health and wellbeing and feed yourself based on the healthy food pyramid as well as the healthy eating plate.

As per, your daily caloric intake and nutritional information, do realize that though it states “facts” that the values are merely recommendations and should not be taken as gospel truth. Allowing a +/- twenty percent variance, coupled with exercise, might be more beneficial.

The FDA has detailed information on how to understand and use the Nutritional Facts Label. Check their website for more information. A downloadable format is also available.

Thanks for reading. I hope the information was helpful.

What makes a man marry several women?

Libido? Cupidity? Power (Clout) and Control, Social Status, Shortage of men, or simply because they can and the women allow it?

Your answer is as good as mine.

. . .

Polygamy is the act of marrying multiple spouses, simultaneously or sequentially, without first divorcing the other spouse.

Sociologists have different terms when the man marries multiple wives. The act is called polygyny; and polyandry when the woman marries multiple men.

The term globally used though is polygamy and it is widespread among men; rather than women. This blog prefers the term polygamy to polygyny.

Where is Polygamy Practiced?

While polygamy is illegal in most countries, it is still an act practiced in parts of Africa and Asia.

Polygamy was practiced up till 1993 in France! Click here for a list of countries’ current statuses on polygamy.

Justifications

Religion:

Religious reasons permit men to marry several wives. For example, the Islamic religious tenets permit men to marry a maximum of four wives, with a caveat that they can afford to take care of the women and treat them equally. However, I know tons of moslem men who can’t afford to marry one wife let alone four, but nonetheless indulge in polygamy.

Likewise, I have known devout moslem men, though rare, who married only one wife till death.

What is disturbing though is that Christian men also marry several wives! Granted that the Quran/Koran (Islamic sacred texts) permits the moslem men to engage in polygamous acts, there is nowhere in the Bible where it is written that a man can marry several wives. Some might want to exemplify Solomon or David or Abraham and his sons. Before you do, first, it was not a religious permission; the men chose to do it of themselves, and secondly, that was Old Testament (pre-Christ); and thirdly, please note that God did not sanction their actions.

The Mormon is another religion that allows polygamy.

To avoid mistresses

Some men justify the act of polygamy by claiming that it is better to marry the women rather than hiding to have mistresses outside the home. The sad truth is that the men still have mistresses anyways.

. . .

Another factor is that some women simply like to be “kept” women and be splurged with money and things. The men often pay the women’s rents or mortgages and everything else the women want and need.

Historical reasons

History tells us that men married several women in order to have help on the farm and in their businesses. Such that the children also were put to work prematurely.

Cultural pressures

Certain cultures pressure the man to take on other women for various reasons which include:

  1. if the woman suffers from infertility and is unable to bear children, or
  2. if the woman bears sole sexes (that is, all boys or all girls), or
  3. simply and wickedly to force the woman to succumb to the man’s family pressures to let her know that her in-laws still control the man and/or relegate the woman to an inferior position in her home!

Should the men alone be blamed?

Maybe the onus should be on the women? Why would any woman agree to be number 2, or 5, or infinite? Why would any woman, knowingly, still agree to marry a married man? What makes the woman think that she will be different? It is often a matter of time. Seems once the woman bears the children, the man is out fishing again for a younger or more beautiful woman, and the cycle continues.

. . .

While some younger women marry into polygamy because of wealth or fame, others do so because they believe that their marriageable years have eluded them.

I believe that there is a man for each woman. The gender ratio; that is, the ratio of male to female, according to world records is still insignificant. In 2019, female world data was 49.58%,, compared to 49.97% in 1960!

The above world data link is interactive. To compare the numbers for any given years, simply change the base year (in the picture below, it is 1960) and the comparable year (here it is 2019).

Polygamy is not a positive or progressive lifestyle. There’s a hypocritical living style where everyone claims to be happy, loving, and cordial with one another. The truth however is that none is as happy as they claim and everyone is fighting for the love and attention of the Patriarch who is often the glue holding the family together.

Even with maternal siblings (those who share the same mother), true love often seem to be lost or uncertain. Children are tagged as belonging to (or favored by) one parent rather than both parents. With this stance, the siblings are pitted against one another or against the other parent.

Is there any Derived Benefit(s)?

Frankly, the only beneficiary of polygamy is the man. He gets to have any woman any time he wants. He also tends to put the women on their toes competing for his attention, love, and/or money.

. . .

Seriously, though, there might be some benefits derived from polygamy. I do not however advocate this form of marriage.

A few derived benefits, if true love were possible and exists within the home and its members, are that each member of the family has unique strengths, gifts, and skill sets that can be (or should be) shared and would be beneficial to all. Rather than looking outside, family members can depend on one another for those resources they would otherwise pay for. Bottomline, there’s ample help to go round.

Downside of Polygamy

I sincerely believe that men who indulge in polygamy are inconsiderate and can be described as both selfish or self-centered as they only live to satisfy their libido regardless of the feelings of their wives or children. They are unable to love the women equally or unconditionally. It is a loveless full house! They also are ignorant of the possibilities of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). The children become their mothers’ responsibilities as they do not have the full attention of their dad. Unfortunately, the mothers find themselves becoming “forced” single parents as they, not both parents, are responsible for the upkeep of their children.

There’s chaos where the man, wives, and children all live under the same roof. I often wonder about the sleeping arrangements and who gets to sleep with the man daily. Would it be on a rotation-basis? Or would it solely be the youngest wife? Again, your guess is as good as mine.

There’s also immense and unhealthy competition among the wives and the children. Should one woman’s child or children succeed (or be more successful), the other wives and children become jealous and envious. This often leads to the Joseph-saga (in the Bible where Joseph who was loved by their dad became the envy of his siblings. They plotted to sell him as a slave and lied to their dad that an animal killed him – some of us will remember the story and its ending). Some households resort to occultism and fetishes against one another. This is barbaric.

In addition, the first wife, who often is the oldest woman, sadly has to live in silence watching her husband daily exhibits his machoism with the younger women. What mental torture!

Many homes have been split (if not destroyed) on the demise of the patriarch of the family.

Final word

Whatever the reason(s) men choose to marry several women, or women choose to marry an already-married man, just as technology presently is to the world and is still evolving, the idea (or act) of polygamy is archaic should be eradicated in this modern world and its future.

Women should resist the urge to be second or nth fiddle, as well as the pressure to marry an “already-married” man. Don’t give up ladies, your man will surely come. No marriage is without continuous work. There is a saying that goes, “one wife, one trouble!” Marrying multiple wives therefore equates multiple trouble irrespective of the family front that appears in public.

Men ought to know how to love and love well. There are abundant resources to help those who need the help. Love is a continuous work.

Women are better off marrying monogamously than polygamously; just pray that the right man seeks you out.

Men, on the other hand, should do their part to curb their libido and control their appetite for more. Resist the urge to jump in-and-out of love and beds!

My two cents. Thanks for reading.

Feel free to comment below and share.

Your Voice

Your Voice is an indispensable part of who you are. Its uniqueness cannot be duplicated. Granted that, by reason of DNA, siblings might sound alike or like their parents, but there is always a distinguishing factor that tells one voice apart from the other.

I remember a long while back, a favorite Aunt of mine while chitchatting on a visit, suddenly did a swish and said, “for a moment, I thought I was talking to Uncle (my Dad).” I just stared at her as I didn’t know how to respond. Was it a compliment or was she telling me that I had a deep husky/masculine voice? No one ever told me so.

Except I am ignorant, I would not suppose that a lady wants to hear that she sounds like a man, neither would a man appreciate being told that he sounds feminine. Being the first-time I heard such a statement, I didn’t appreciate it and wouldn’t expect anyone to.

Well, I would hear that same statement a few more times after.

In a way, it’s an honor to be told that I sound(ed) like my Dad (of blessed memory) as it further authenticates me as his bona-fide daughter lol. Anyways …

WHAT IS VOICE?

The American Academy of Otolaryngology (man, I never heard that word before … the new things we learn during researches for blogging!) – Head and Neck Surgery says this about Voice:

“Voice” is the sound made by vibration of the vocal cords caused by air passing out through the larynx bringing the cords closer together. Your voice is an extremely valuable resource and is the most commonly used form of communication. Our voice is invaluable for both our social interaction as well as for most people’s occupation … Read more here.

Let Your Voice Be Heard

Whatever sound your vocal chords are releasing, those sounds are for both specific and general purposes, as well as for some people and place. Your Voice is what God uses to communicate His message(s), through you, to His people. And if you choose, Satan also can use your voice. I pray however that you choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19b).

The earlier you recognize it and embrace your voice, the sooner you’ll be able to identify your purpose which includes the people and place. So, let your voice be heard.

“Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out Your own inner Voice.”

Steve Job

. . .

Some voices are soothing as a mother calming her baby, some are akin to angels that speak a specific message to someone or some people.

While some voices make the demons tremble and they obey, the demons will challenge some voices without authority! “Jesus we know, Paul we know, but who are you?!” (Acts 19:15).

Your voice carries power and authority in heaven and on earth

Have you ever felt like you were ignored or rejected when you speak/spoke? Spiritually speaking, a voice that carries power and authority in the spirit realm often is the voice that the wicked tends to try to “shut down” in the natural. This is an evil tactic used to confuse the person. But, I dare you to know who you are and stand unperturbed. One rejected by man, but favored by God (Isaiah 53:3a). My friend, don’t worry. The voice they ignored, rejected, or refused to listen to, will be the same voice that they will chase after, begging to speak, even when you don’t have anything to say. As it is written, “the stone which the builders rejected, has become the cornerstone” (Matthew 21:42, Mark 12:10, Luke 20:17).

Note: The power Your Voice has is a gift from God, the authority comes as you follow Jesus Christ; for all authority belongs to him.

You lose the power and authority that your voice carries when you compromise; that is, intentionally and willfully keeping mute when you should speak up against evil, wickedness, injustice, and any form of ungodly acts.

Conversely, continuously speaking up, speaking the truth always and boldly, despite opposition and irrespective of who’s involved, and/or it not being popular, will sharpen Your Voice and reinforce your standing.

What (or who) are you allowing to shut Your Voice down?

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

Vincent Van Gogh

Some voices have been silenced by fear, while the wicked have shut many down.
Some voices have been silenced by poverty, while many wealthy have shut others down.
Some voices have been silenced by sickness, while the healthy have deprived others.
Some voices have been silenced by their own families, while society has forced many into silence.
Some voices have been robbed and others raped, while the perpetrators freely roam.

Lift up your voice like a trumpet; declare to my people their transgression, to the house of Jacob their sins. (Isaiah 58:1)

Also, “Be a voice! The Bible says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice” (Proverbs 31:8-9 NLT).

. . .

I challenge you to “raise your voice for understanding,” (Proverbs 2:3 NLT). There is a people, place, and message that is waiting for Your Voice. In so doing, it is important to know “when to speak and when to be quiet” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7b) as well as when to use your soft voice or amplified voice. Nonetheless, always be assertive.

Peace.

Suggested readings:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/what-your-voice-reveals-about-you-11565716426

https://www.lindamarksmusic.com/the_power_of_voice.html

https://www.redletterchristians.org/finding-your-voice/

Recipe: My Sauce

Ingredients:

1 medium Red Bell Pepper
1 medium Onion (yellow or ref)
1/2 Habanero
4-6 medium Tomatoes (your choice – Roma, Hot House, Vine, etc.)
2-4 Chili Pepper (optional)

Blend all together.

. . .

My Sauce is the base for majority of my cooking. Depending on what I’m cooking, the above can be halved for certain dishes; enough for some, or doubled for a few dishes.

Going forward, I will refer to the requirements accordingly.

Loving Basketball: A Note from Adam Silver, NBA Commissioner

NBA Games Restart tonight on TNT at 6:30 ET. Watch your local channels to check for airing times. For detailed schedule, visit NBA Restart Schedule. Let’s enjoy it together.

Letter to NBA Fans

Dear NBA Fan,

It’s been more than four months since we last played NBA basketball.  Tonight we restart the season with 22 teams in Orlando and attempt to establish our new normal.  And while spectators won’t be there in person, fans remain at the heart of our game.

We’re introducing several elements to improve the live game viewing experience, including multiple, new camera angles, enhanced audio of players and coaches, a feature on our NBA app that allows for virtual crowd reactions, customized alternative streams on NBA League Pass with statistical overlays and influencers calling the action, and video boards surrounding the court featuring hundreds of fans watching from home.

At the same time, we recognize that this moment is about more than basketball.  It’s an opportunity for NBA players and teams to continue a longstanding tradition of addressing important issues around social justice.

These are difficult and challenging times, but the NBA is coming back because sports matter in society.  We hope that the return of the NBA – along with other major league sports – will enrich your lives.

Welcome to a whole new game!

Sincerely,

Adam Silver, NBA Commissioner

© 2020 NBA PROPERTIES, INC.

The Heart of Innovation: Why Don’t More People Share Their Best Practices with Each Other?

This blog was posted by Mitch Ditkoff, at idealchampions.com, on June 26, 2020.

. . .

Thankfully the WordPress family doesn’t have this problem as we freely share our best practices with one another. But for those still in the workforce, sharing best practices can be a BIG problem as everyone wants to own the “subject-matter expert,” “go-to person” title. Seems like folks think they would lose by sharing. Little do these people realize that “knowledge shared is knowledge squared.” – Carl Sandburg

Why do think people don’t share their knowledge or best practices? Read Ditkoff’s blog, checkout his website, and let’s learn why people hoard them. I hope you enjoy the blog.

“If you are a member of a team, business, school, or volunteer organization, there’s a good chance you want whatever project you are working on to succeed. Yes? Towards that end, you work hard, think hard, generate ideas, go to meetings, fight fires, and (hopefully) learn from your mistakes. If you are like most people, you sometimes get together with your team and talk about ways to increase your odds of success.

Still, there’s a good chance you may be overlooking one of the simplest, most effective ways to make progress — and that is the sharing of best practices.

Best practices“, a much written about topic in the business literature, is really nothing more than a two-word euphemism for “what works” — the efforts you and your colleagues make that are already contributing to your success. The good stuff.
Curiously, however, “best practices” are rarely shared in most organizations and, even when they are, they are not shared effectively. Why? There are ten main reasons.

TEN REASONS WHY BEST PRACTICES ARE NOT SHARED

  1. Command and Control: The leaders of most enterprises, even if they won’t admit it, aren’t really committed to people sharing their ideas with each other. It sounds strange, but it’s true. Why does this phenomenon exist? Because ideas, freely shared, often end up “rocking the boat.” Old ways of doing things get challenged. The status quo gets confronted. New possibilities need to be considered, evaluated, and funded. Or not funded. More emails abound. More opinions. More disagreements. More meetings. Cranky-inducing stuff.
  2. No Clear, Compelling Vision of Success: If people, working on same project, aren’t on the same page about WHY they are working together and WHY they get out of bed in the morning, it is unlikely that they will be motivated enough to go beyond the “same old, same old” syndrome. Without a clear, compelling vision to motivate them beyond the call of duty, many people end up just going through the motions. Rote takes precedence. Old habits rule. Mediocrity prevails.
  3. No Sense of Interdependence: People will not take the time to share their insights, ideas, and best practices with each other if there is no recognition of the need to collaborate. If teamwork is not a clearly articulated (and reinforced) organizational value, there will be very little chance that the people doing the work are going to make the effort to connect with each other.
  4. Lack of Trust and Appreciation: People may recognize the need to collaborate with each other, but they may not like or trust each other. It takes effort to reach out to other people — especially people who are different than you. Sometimes, it’s a risk, especially for introverts. Plus, if people are working in remote locations, in different time zones, the degree of difficulty increases. Without trust and a genuine appreciation for the perspective of others, best practices will rarely, if ever, be shared.
  5. No Clarity About What a Best Practice Is: If you ask me to bring a tuna fish sandwich to a meeting, I can do that. But if you ask me to bring a “best practice”, who knows what you’ll get. If you want best practices to be shared in your organization, be very clear about what you are asking people to communicate.
  6. No Intention. No Agreement. No Buy-In: It’s fine to generically request people to share their best practices, but unless your request is understood, honored, and owned. it’s just fairy dust. People are busy. People are maxed. You asking them to do one more thing will likely be met with head nods at best. So, if you want to make this best practice sharing thing real, you will need to make the effort to build a case for it and give people a chance to commit to it from an authentic place.
  7. Fear of Judgment: Some people have a truckload of best practices to share, but they are sometimes concerned that other people may not think their best practices are so hot. Or, if they’ve done something they think is truly innovative, they may be concerned that others will judge them for not asking permission or going one bridge too far. The result? They clam up and keep things to themselves.
  8. The Perception of Lack of Time: Face it. We live in an ADD world. Even the fact that you have read this far is astounding. If a person thinks they have no time, there is very little chance they are going to say YES to a “best practice sharing process” that will take some time — even if the process, itself, will yield ideas that will save them time and radically increase their odds of success.
  9. Lame Listening: The sharing of best practices requires two things: someone to speak and someone to listen. Most of us, of course, would rather speak than listen. If you and your team are committed to sharing what you are learning with each other, make sure that listening — real listening — is baked into the process.
  10. No Platform: Sharing best practices with other people requires some kind of communication method or platform. If your team does not have a reliable way to share what they are learning, it’s doubtful they will. What platform might work best for your team? Group skype calls? One-on-one phone calls? Monthly meetings? Email? A Facebook Group? An end-of-the-year conference? A blog?

What other obstacles would you add to the above list? But more importantly, what can YOU do in the next seven days to jump start the process of the team you work most closely with sharing their best practices with each other?”

6 Habits of Highly Focused People

by Nick Wignali

”Focus is a skill you cultivate, not a technique you implement. If you want to improve your ability to focus deeply and do your best work, work to cultivate these habits:

Embrace routines: “The imagination is unleashed by constraints. You break out of the box by stepping into shackles.” – Jonah Lehrer

Procrastinate productively: “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. – Walt Disney

Ruthlessly eliminate distractions: “Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.” – Nathan W. Morris

Be compassionate with yourself after setbacks: “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” – Albert Einstein

Take advantage of inspiration but don’t rely on it: “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” – Stephen King

Make the time to clarify your values: “Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt”

To read the full details of each of the above points, click on this: 6 Habits of Highly Focused

. . .

My Thoughts:

Focus is both a science and an art. The art is your creativity; how you utilize your uniqueness and innate gifts to partner with the science. Find the art that works best for you and embrace it! But whatever you do, remain steadily focused. Distractions will always come, if one allows them or give them a thought, one’s tasks will never be completed.

In the Church, distractions are tagged as a spirit. You simply cast it out by speaking to (better yet, commanding) it “Oh I see you, but you aren’t going to disturb me today or ever. Now, get out and return to where you came from in Jesus’s Name” or “I cast you out in Jesus’s Name.”

Peace people.

Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “An eye for an eye will only make the world blind” ~Mahatma Gandhi Arguments and relationships go …

Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships

I’m sharing Dr. Eric Perry’s blog on Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships. Click on the above link to read it.

The Rules are shared with couples mostly during relationship counseling sessions. I believe that Dr. Perry is a Clinical Psychologist. Check his website out and follow him.

I recommend these Rules for all relationships; whether you’re still dating each other (best time to learn the rules!) or newly-weds or even had some years in marriage.

. . .

Have you ever walked in to a home where the couples were yelling at each other? Worst still, calling each other names? And you stare, eyes wide, not knowing what to do? Loving couples are not supposed to do certain things, right? Or maybe I belong to another planet but can’t help myself sharing life on planet Earth.

. . .

Husband: “You never listen to me?!

Wife: “You never allow me to talk?!”

Husband: “You did the same thing last month.”

Wife: “Yes, because you did it first!

Husband: “You’re always competing with me!

Wife: “Shame on you for saying that! Who did I marry?

As the guest, what do you do? Walk back out the door? At least the rantings paused for someone to answer the door. They knew you were coming and you would have expected that they would at least delay the quarrel. But, no, none will budge.

The above rantings are not uncommon in households. But those rantings should be missing in loving homes.

There’s often an underlying problem that needs immediate attention. But some folks prefer to sweep issues under the rug hoping that it will quietly fade away. To this I always say that “it has a way of rearing its ugly head when you least expect it.” And a relationship that has both overt and covert personalities should find a middle ground very early in the relationship to avoid the above kind of rantings. Dr. Eric Perry’s Rules should help.

. . .

Love should not resort to name-calling or try to suppress or oppress the other’s voice or personhood. And, there should be freedom and mutual respect in a relationship.

Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 

2 Corinthians 3:17

All relationships should have Rules and boundaries. Set yours today.

✌🏽😊

R A P E

Rape is never a pleasant thing to talk about. It sends shivers down my spines. But, it’s an issue we find ourselves talking about today. It’s an issue dear to The Eternal Word’s heart. It is an issue everyone should be concerned about.

It’s also an issue that has no cultural, race, age, or socio-economic boundaries. To learn more, read the following:

Sex vs. RAPE

Having sex is meant to be a special thing between two loving adults. It is meant to be an enjoyable experience with the right person.

Sex is never supposed to be had with a minor! It is illegal and whosoever does so is a pedophile. Such person is punishable under the law! Even the religions and cultures that allow such acts should be banned as they are perpetuating an illegal act!!!

RAPE is forceful sex, against the victim’s will. When sex is forceful, it is evil concupiscence (Colossians 3:5-6). If the person says “NO” and pushes, please STOP, they mean “NO!” Never think that the person is playing hard to get. Respect the person. No one enjoys forced sex; except that the perpetrator satisfies an evil desire/longing.

What adrenaline, or is it testosterone, flows uninhibited through the veins and arteries of one to defile another?! The mere thought of RAPE gives me chills as one with high fever.

Effects

RAPE victims suffer psychologically, emotionally, and mentally after a RAPE ordeal. Some of the consequences could be long-term if the victims are not treated or seek counseling/therapies. Additionally, most victims suffer shame and self-blame. Because of this, the majority of RAPE incidents are not reported or even shared with family members and/or friends leaving the victim to suffer the trauma alone.

PTSD is real with RAPE victims, so also is depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. Some victims also struggle with self esteem.

Life is hard enough as it is, why dump more on anyone? Rapists must be STOPPED and brought to justice. Anyone who has ever raped another must repent.

. . .

RAPE must be categorized as a pandemic issue. We all nust do our part to STOP it locally and globally. Please do your part people.

RAPE Myths

Understand the myths about rape or sexual violence as compiled by Rape Crisis, U.K.. For the corresponding Facts on each Myth, please visit their website https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/myths-vs-realities/

  1. If someone gets really drunk, it’s their own fault if they end up getting raped. They should have kept themselves safe.
  2. Women often lie about rape because they regret having sex with someone, or because they want attention.
  3. If someone didn’t scream or try to fight their attacker off, then it wasn’t rape.
  4. If you are in a relationship with someone, it’s always OK to have sex with them.
  5. People who were sexually abused as children are likely to become abusers themselves.
  6. Women shouldn’t go out alone at night as they are likely to get raped.
  7. Women provoke men to rape them by wearing revealing clothes or flirting.
  8. Once a man is sexually aroused he can't help himself; he has to have sex.
  9. When it comes to sex, women and girls give out mixed signals. They sometimes 'play hard to get' and say 'no' when they really mean 'yes'. 
  10. Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual violence.
  11. Men don't get raped.
  12. Women don’t commit sexual offences.

. . .

Need more information or gelp for your locality on how/what you can do to help end RAPE, Click here.

Let’s end this pandemic.

Thanks for reading. Please share.

If men only knew … 5 Things men ought to know

If only men knew the gift of God that He gave them, men would handle their wives with utmost care and treat them as precious jewels.

Out of the bones of Adam (Genesis 2:21-23), Eve, the mother of all living (Genesis 20:3), was formed. And His Word said, “…, ye husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

That your prayers be not hindered!

Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hinder provides the definition of: ‘hinder’ as: ‘to cause delay, interruption, or difficulty in; hamper; impede:

In case you still do not understand, God says that if you call on Him, when you’re being (or have been) mean to, or have manhandled, or abused (in any way, shape, or form; i.e., emotional, physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, etc; your wife, He might not answer you quickly!

Why men, or anyone for that natter, would want to go through hindered prayers beats me.

. . .

Do men not know?

It bothers me to know, or hear, that men hit their wives, cheat on them, lie, or engage in idle chatter about them, and worse yet, relegate their wives while loving and placing everyone else above her.

  • Don’t they know that charity begins from home?
  • Don’t they know that both man and wife have become one in the eyes of God, despite that your family members or the public are trying to separate both of you?
  • Don’t they know that whatever ill men do or send their wives’ way, comes back to them; sometimes even much more?
  • Don’t they also know that even if the wife doesn’t say anything and tolerate the “abuse” for the sake of the children and keeping the family together, that God, Jehovah El Roi, sees it all and will avenge on her behalf?
  • Don’t men know that criticizing their wives publicly shows much more the kind of men they are?!!!

It’s a spiritual principle

Even men’s parents ought to take second place after their wives. This is a hard pill for many immature men to swallow. “What? The one who gave birth to me now takes second place?! No way!” Before you stone the messenger; God also said this : “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife” (Mark 10:7, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7. Ephesians 5:31).

How I have heard rumblings and offenses at this specific God’s Word! Have men ever wondered, or even asked the Author, why He put this verse in His Book? Only the wise man would stop to think and ask.

. . .

I once was a Mary Kay Cosmetics consultant. Mary Kay Ash was the founder of beauty products established primarily to help women make some income while still maintaining their homes/families. Her business was based on a principle that God is first, family second, and everything/everyone else third (or last). She touted this principle to her beauty consultants stating that if they followed it, they were sure to excel. At the time, I didn’t have a relationship with Father God; only knew Him as someone up there. That has since changed and I haven’t deviated from the valuable principle since knowing Him.

. . .

I said that to implore men to follow this same principle because they are the head (of the house/family) from which the oil flows.

Men, your wives are your help mate to be cherished. Treat your wife like your queen. You are the head and king of your domain and your wife is your partner (or as I normally say, the neck). If the head tries to make a wrong turn, the neck steers it back or becomes stiff forcing the head back to its normal position!

Men, please love your wives “…, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25). As you do, you will enjoy the favor of God and man, you’ll be blessed going out and coming in, and your children will honor you because, to your son, you reflect the man they aspire to be, and of how they would treat their own wives; and for your daughters, you will be the yardstick they use to measure men or their own husbands.

5 things Men ought to know

Men ought to:

1. Love their wives unconditionally. Charity begins from home. God says “two have become one.” Loving her is loving yourself. I haven’t met anyone who hates himself. In fact, God says, “love her as Jesus loves the church and gave his life for it!”

2. Treat their wives like queens. Because ”two have become one,” men, you are the heads and kings of your domains and your wives are your partners (or as I normally say, the necks). If the head tries to make a wrong turn, the neck steers it back or becomes stiff forcing the head back to its normal position!

3. Listen to their wives. Women have been naturally wired with instincts and intuition. They just know things. Men (and the family) would benefit greatly if they first consult with, and listen to, their wives. As an example, God told Abraham to listen to Sarah when she asked that Hagar be sent away (Genesis 21:12).

4. Cover their wives. Wise men know how to do this. But for those who don’t, it simply means that you do not embarrass your wife intentionally or otherwise, especially publicly. Even when she is the cause of the embarrassment, it’s wisdom to cover her than causing her shame or more embarrassment.

5. Cherish her and help with the chores.

  1. Let her know that she’s the most important person in your life; not your mom. Your wife is the one who shares bed with you and cooks your meals; not your mom. Your wife is also the first point of call should there be, God forbid, an accident; not your mom! If your mom is more important, maybe you’re not ready for marriage. Ouch, that’s cold. But, sorry men, you need to hear it since your wife couldn’t tell you. I’m not disrespecting mothers, I’m one too. There’s a reason you married your wife and not your mom; never forget that reason;
  2. Know your wife’s primary love language and demonstrate such to her. Men, you (or both of you) will be frustrated if you keep buying her stuff when all she wants is to spend quality time with you or vice versa. Giving and receiving the right kind of love improves the aura of the home/family.
  3. Skip outings just to spend time together or just for her to rest and recharge her energy.
  4. If you have kids, take the kids out so she can rest.

Men, now that you know, please do the right thing to, and with, your wife if you haven’t already been doing so.

Thanks for reading.

Stay blessed!

Loving Basketball: Basketball is Back!

Credits: Laylayrock26

NBA is back and been back a few days! I hope you all are as excited as I am; or even more so. Let’s hear the 🥁rolls …..

Pre-pandemic

The league, like everything else, was abruptly shut down in March just when we were getting excited about which teams made the playoffs. The momenta got snapped like a one-inch elastic round falling off a pant.

Restart

Well, they’re back. Too bad that my fave team, Golden State Warriors, didn’t make the restart. We all know why, right? For those who don’t: KD left the team (yay yay yay like he left OKC, right? And probably will leave Nets?!), and his leaving sent pandemonium not only to Dubs, but the who league!

Credits: ftw.usatoday.com; cdn.ampproject.org

If not for the love I have for KD, I would have blamed it all on him. But, the boy KD is phenomenal with the ball; he’s got style uniquely his. So I’ll spare him. Who knows, maybe just maybe, he might decide to return for our namesakes. I don’t believe his Oakland Hills mansion found a buyer yet, so he might just move back. We’ll pretend that he just went on a vacation and is back, right?! Please tell me that I’m not dreaming.

. . .

Anyways, the newly-formed Golden State Warriors team has lots of young players that hopefully will stay with the team long term.

Appreciate them for keeping on despite all “things” working against them. Here’s hoping that Klay T. is feeling better and will be back soon/next season. Till then, we hope the GSW players and coaches have a great and restful time off.

Four-month hiatus

Sorry I forgot why I was blogging today 😊 Got carried away raving about KD. The boy is darn (pardon my Greek) good!

Okay, NBA is back people! Four months hiatus. Gheez what did I do during those months? I guess that it’s one of those things – you love it while it lasts, and just accept it once it’s gone.

The restart scrimmages have been fun to watch. I remember my daughter’s coaches always said, “the scrimmage shows how you’re gonna play in the game.” There were times I disagreed, but for the most times, the coach was right.

So, if the NBA restart scrimmages reflect what we would see come playoffs, beginning on July 30th, we might be in for some rude shockers.

While COVID-19 didn’t affect some players’ games, many seem to be just about finding their rhythms and appear lost in the court space. We will see.

The scrimmages started two days ago and will end on July 28th, with a two-day break.

Playoffs and race to the 2019-2020 Championships begins on July 30. Who are you routing for? Do you think Toronto Raptors will be able to defend their title? They haven’t really been in the run-off news all season though but we still can’t put anything pass them. They shocked us (or maybe it was just me) last season to emerge as the 2018-19 Champions.

On the West side, the race is between Lakers and Clippers. Lakers presently takes a commanding lead though with five games over Clippers. But watch Portland and Pelicans battling for the eighth position.

On the East side, there seems to be no rival. Mil Bucks and The Freak got it being seven games over the current champion; who like KD had their lead star, KL, bail to the other side.

Game schedule

Tune in to your favorite sports channel (or TBT or ESPN or NBA) to watch the fun. Below is a link to the full schedule.

https://www.nba.com/article/2020/06/26/nba-comeback-schedule-2019-20-seeding-games

And let’s have fun voting for the 2019-2020 MVP.

Credits: Wikipedia.con
Credits: https://images.app.goo.gl/XaYJY1pHVn3gjhKR8

|_|. Giannis Antekoumpo

|_|. Lebron James

Thanks for reading.

Help, Lord!

Bible in One Year 2020 with Nicky Gumbel – Day 203 – Devotional

Sharing the Devotional from the Bible in One Year 2020. To read more and read daily, click this url https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/17704/day/203?segment=0

One of my most frequent prayers is ‘Help!’ It is also one of the most common prayers in the Bible. It is a prayer you can pray every day, in any and every situation. You can cry out to the Lord for help. God’s desire is for you to have a relationship with Him that is real and from the heart.

Psalm 88:9b-18

Help in broken relationships

Rejection is always hurtful – especially when it comes from someone you love or someone very close to you. Broken relationships are painful – particularly when we feel we have been ‘dumped’ by a ‘lover’, a ‘neighbour’ or a close friend. The psalmist feels that since ‘lover and neighbour alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness’ (v.18, MSG).

He says, ‘For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting’ (v.15, MSG). The situation seems like one of utter hopelessness: darkness (v.12), feeling rejected by God (v.14), affliction (v.15a), terror and despair (v.15b). ‘I’m bleeding, black-and-blue… I’m nearly dead’ (v.17, MSG).

Yet there is one note of hope. The hope comes from the fact that, in the midst of all this, he chooses to start each day by crying out to God: ‘I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you’ (v.9b).

Perhaps today you’re struggling with a relationship: in your marriage, workplace, church or with a close friend. However bad your situation may seem, there is always hope if you cry out to the Lord for help.

‘I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you’ (v.13). O Lord, I spread out my hands to you. I ask you for help…

Psalm 88:13

. . .

May God help us all in our time(s) of need when we sincerely cry out to Him. He will never let us down.

Love-first model for marriage and relationships

We posed the question, in our previous blog, should-love-or-marriage-be-based-on-a-business-or-love-first-model.

We talked about the business-first model and what relationships would be like if we adopted that model. If you missed it, click bit.ly/2Czm55T to read it.

Today, we review the other type of relationship; love-first model. It should be a no-brainer that relationships are based on love, right? No! It’d amaze even Venus that it’s not so!

What is love?

Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/love offers a few definitions of: ‘love’ as:

  • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person;
  • sexual passion or desire.
  • a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

What is the love-first model?

It is the kind that marriages and relationships ought to be about. It is also the kind where each edifies the other above one self. The Bible provides us with a standard:

“Love suffers long, and is kind;

love envies not;

love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,

Love does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not his/her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;

Love rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails: ….”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭KJV

This is the utmost kind of relationship everyone desires and/or should aspire to. But how do we get it?

How can we enter into this ideal model?

I believe that this kind of relationship is possible when men wisely choose their ladies and the ladies patiently wait for their other half to search them out. Then, there is dignity, mutual respect, and appreciation in love.

If marriages and relationships are based on the love-first model, there will be no occurrences of separation, divorce, or leaving one another. The relationship one enters into, will culminate into marriages till death does one or both apart. That, to me, is the ideal kind!

But since we do have incidents of separation and divorces, is’t then safe to say that either one of the parties chose the wrong partner to begin with or that one or both entered into the relationship under pretense or that the marriage or relationship was entered into for the wrong reasons? Maybe? Only both parties can tell.

Your choice

Now that you know what love really is, which would you choose as your model for marriage or relationship; the business-first or the love-first?

For the love-first model, pray and have a confirmation in your spirit that you are choosing wisely because the alternative (aka wrong choice) can be disastrous.

Love and Peace!

Should love or marriage be based on a business- or love-first model?

“What’s in it for me?” “You rub my back and I rub yours (or scratch or poke yours depending on how I’m feeling about you! Lol). Sounds so cold, unh? Yet, these selfish and shamefacedly statements have now become cliches in households.

Why does anything have to be in it for you? What about the other person? Why have we starved love and become so hungry for the $dollar (or money, for those who don’t spend the almighty currency!)? What happened to us all?

I could rant endlessly in the hope that some “expert” somewhere could answer my questions.

With the above outlooks on love/marriage, falling in love or getting married becomes scary. Should it? Let’s talk about it and consider both models.

Business-first model

Dictionary.com defines ‘Business’ as:
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/business

  1. an occupation, profession, or trade:
  2. the purchase and sale of goods in an attempt to make a profit.
  3. a person, partnership, or corporation engaged in commerce, manufacturing, or a service; profit-seeking enterprise or concern.

Marriage is honorable …” Hebrews 13:4a

Types of businesses

There are different types of businesses; the top four are:

  1. Sole proprietorship
  2. Partnership
  3. Corporations
  4. Limited Liability Companies.

The business-first model in marriage is similar to a Partnership. In all businesses, it is wise to have an agreement/contract that clarifies expectations. The contract in marriage is called the Prenuptial Agreement or Prenups, for short.

My humble opinion is that prenups are business-in-marriage documents that should have no place when the marriage is grounded in love.

However, I can envisage why one person (or both) favors prenups before entering into the marriage.

For your information, prenups are not relegated to famous and wealthy folks. Average, everyday, working-class people have been known to request prenups before marrying. I wonder why anyone would marry prenuptially! Personally, I won’t.

Comment below if you would marry someone who presents you with a prenup. If not, why not? Thanks.

If a business model is applied to marriage, it implies that three scenarios are imminent:

  1. either one person profits, and the other losses;
  2. both parties win; or
  3. both parties lose!

Let’s expatiate on each scenario in reverse order

The third scenario (both parties lose; lose-lose) means that the outcome was a fallout, separation, or divorce. Is it safe to say then that both parties were misfits to start with? What caused a fallout or the ultimate decision of a divorce? What differences were so grave that could not have been forgiven, or as Californian courts will rule, were irreconcilable? Are we so callous with one another such that we take the “it’s my way or the highway!” stance? Maybe, we all should choose our significant others wisely before heading on the crooked road.

The second scenario (both parties win; win-win) is the ideal. But remember that the goal of starting a business is to make a profit; aka ROI, return on investment. In a marriage, what would those investments be? Using children as an example, as I couldn’t think of a better one,. Neither party didn’t begin the marriage with children. Each party brought something; the man contributed his sperm and the woman her eggs. “The profit” is the children?! What would we say about those in a second or third marriage who brought children into the new marriage. Blended home profit? What other examples can be used? Furniture, cars, etc. with the outcome (profit) being a home?! Maybe. What if one party does not have the furniture or cars? Should they still start a “business” together or the items become “ours” rather than mine or yours? Or as in a real business partnership, the type of partnership will be defined; that is, who would be the active, dormant/sleeping, limited powers, etc. partner? I’ll like to hear your thoughts on this.

With this scenario, it appears that both parties made the right choice of “business” partner, right? We all might need to take cue(s) from this type of business-first love/marriage.
How then would the profits be divided? 50/50 or ratio relative to your contribution?

The first scenario (win-loss) is a troublesome one. Were both parties, the onset, aware of what the outcome would be? Why would anyone knowingly enter into a losing business? Were there any part of the contract that was latent, ambiguous, or intentionally omitted? If so, should there still be a contract – shouldn’t the contract be voidable, void, and/or rescinded? Let’s ponder on these for a moment. Some relationships are doomed even before they begin because everyone saw and knew that it was never meant to be nor was it going to last. Only the people involved couldn’t see nor know it! I could name a few examples but I don’t want to be litigated! You probably know one or two as well.

. . .

Each of the above scenarios is worth pondering on. If you or I were to enter into a marriage or relationship, which scenario would you or I choose as our ideal? I know for sure that I would 💯 choose the second win-win scenario and I hope that you would, too.

What could humanity do to avoid a losing love/marriage? What sustainable relationship tips can we pass on that can help others and especially the younger generation?

Please comment below.

We’ll continue with the other model, Love-first in our next blog. Till then,

Love & Peace

Thanks for reading.

Woohoo . . . Thank You!

I had eagerly anticipated hitting 50 followers and it’s finally here. Better still, it came sooner than I had expected it.

Thank you 🙏🏾😍 Trafficzionmethod and JJ Smith for being my first two followers. You both gave me the break.

Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾😍😍WordPress family for the encouragement, motivation, and inspiration. I cherish the likes and comments and enjoy replying to them. I equally love each follower’s website and content. You all seem to do it effortlessly.

Much appreciation to the WordPress Staff behind the scenes. You all are difference makers. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😍😍😍

. . .

I wrote my first two blogs, [Who Am I?], [We Yearn and Thirst For] on April 19, 2020 and didn’t write another till ten days later. I started slow but finally “getting my groove” (credits to Terry MacMillan) on blogging.

Thank you all for the support. ❤️❤️❤️

Peace!

Love me

Caption by Think-Talk

Love me

Not for my looks

‘Cause those will soon fade away;

Not for my smarts

For those were given to me

And could be taken away;

Not for my money

‘Cause you might detest me when it’s gone.

Love me

Just for me.

If for my looks you came

Know that you’ll disappear

When the bulges come

Or the grays sip in.

If for my smarts

When God forbid dementia visits

I know you’ll become the guest and the owner not.

If for my moolah

Know that it is not just for you

For a million mouths

I have chosen to feed.

If you’ll stay

Stay then you must

Not for my looks

Or smarts

Or moolah

But for me

So love me

Just for who I am.

Who I am is within

It’s not found in the looks

Or smarts

Or moolah

It is found in my heart

Which is yet to be seen and explored

By you.

Love me

Just for me! ❤️

Recipe: Simple Breakfast: Egg, with Avocado, Sandwich

(Inspired by The Gastronomy Gal)

“Mom, you should start eating avocado because of its anti-inflammatory benefits,” my older daughter recently said to me. She made the recommendation because my scalp and skin suddenly started flaring due to extreme dryness. She also recommended other anti-inflammatory foods like turmeric and berries. She’s not a health professional, but a professional in her own health and wellness, and would readily share her knowledge with family and friends.

I took her advice and have noticed some changes. My scalp had gotten better and the flaring have reduced significantly. I now eat and add avocado to everything!

Thank goodness for daughters! 🙏🏾

. . .

Going back to my simple Egg Avocado Sandwich recipe.

Ingredients:

  • 2 Eggs
  • 1/4 or 1/3 Avocado (depending on size)
  • 6-ft Bread Roll

Instructions:

  1. Boil the eggs for 10-15 minutes. Time depends on whether you want your eggs over-easy, over-medium, or hard-boiled. (To boil, place eggs in a small pot, add water to slightly cover the eggs, and place on slow to medium heat.)
  2. Once boiled, empty the hot water from pot, and run cold water over eggs. This helps the eggs peel easily.
  3. Peel the shells off the eggs
  4. Slice the bread roll in two
  5. Slice the avocado and place on one half of the bread
  6. Slice and place the eggs on the other half of the bread
  7. Close both halves together as a sandwich.

Enjoy with a hot or cold Turmeric tea. Can also be eaten for lunch or light dinner.

110 days from today …

What are you going to do?

Whatever you do, do it totally with your heart knowing that you have read, watched, and studied, all that needs to be digested. That, above all, you have studied “to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”
‭‭(2 Timothy‬ ‭2:15-16‬)

Whatever you do 110 days from today, please seriously refrain from groupthink or bandwagon effect of joining the acts or desires of the populace.

Finally, whatever you do, stop, pray, and ponder to ask yourself, will I be able to live with myself after this or will I regret having acted contrary to the truth and my heart.

I say pray because often not all that appears good are of God. I repeat, everything that looks, feel, and or sound good are not of God. Few are obvious to the naked eye, but many are discreet that will fool even the very elect (Matthew 24:24b). Be not one of those who think that God can be mocked for whatsoever we sow, we shall reap (Galatians 6:7-8).

. . .

The frailty of humanity is that we focus on the negatives of the past and of one another and sadly forget the good of both the past and one another. Psychologists confirm that this is how our brains are hardwired and term it negativity bias. Click the links below to read more on the term:

. . .

In 110 days from today, I implore you to focus on merits rather than the negatives and VOTE with your heart for the Truth.

You have ample time to research and digest each candidate and, of course, each proposition.. Start today so that 110 days from today, you will know what to do and will do that which you ought to have done.

. . .

America is presently in a dire state. But there’s hope still for by His mercies, America shall not be consumed because great is His faithfulness! (Lanentations 3:22-24)

Let your voice be heard; exercise your civic right and let your vote count. No excuses. You can Vote by mail. Check out information on how to now and be ready to vote 110 days from today.

Peace!

Recipe: Breakfast: Avocado Omelette

This is a quick and simple egg breakfast which is Protein and Vitamin D nourishing for your soul. Click here https://bit.ly/3enqsh2, https://bit.ly/3iUWaGa for more nutritional information for avocado and eggs.

Ingredients:

  • 3 Eggs
  • 1/2 Avocado
  • 1/6 Onions (Optional)
  • 1/4 Tomato (Optional)
  • Butter
  • Oil – your choice (Optional)
  • Salt

The above ingredient serves 1 person.

Other items, such as baby spinach, mushrooms, red and green bell peppers, can also be added to your omelette ingredients.

Cooking Instructions:

  1. Break the eggs in a bowl and whip
  2. Add a dash of salt
  3. Optional: Chop the onions and tomato
  4. Slice the butter (if block & hard) or scoop (a tablespoon if soft) and toss in the frying pan. Let melt over medium heat
  5. Pour the eggs in the frying pan
  6. Lift the eggs all around till almost cooked
  7. Slice the avocado into the egg
  8. Turn heat to low
  9. Either fold (twice as in flipping) or roll the eggs from one edge to the other.

Avocado Omelette is ready to eat. Pair with toasted wheat bread, homemade potatoes, on enjoy by itself with a refreshing homemade Turmeric Ginger Tea.

Bon appeti

Love and Love Languages

How do you love yourself or allow yourself to be loved? Are you the flower person, chocolates, wine and dine, just-hold-my-hands kind of person? Or do you prefer the long (phone/face-to-face) conversations? Whatever your preference, wouldn’t you like your significant other to know, or you knowing your children’s; if you have any?

Wouldn’t you also like to know the type of love your relationship (or marriage) is exhibiting?

Well, if you already don’t know, we all speak various love languages. These languages often can be misconstrued. Knowing the different types of love and love languages can set relationships straight.

. . .

Biblically, there are four types of love. Jack Zavada writes about Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape in his article. Click here to read more https://www.thoughtco.com/types-of-love-in-the-bible-700177.

Agape is the highest form of love. It’s the God-kind of Love which we all should aspire to.

. . .

Psychologically, there are seven types of Love. Neel Burton M.D. adds three more to the biblical types. I learned something as these three are all new to me. To read them, please click here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love.

Did you learn something new as well? Yes or No, please comment below.

There’s however an eighth kind that I’ll like to add.

Mania (obsessive/excessive) love. This kind of love can manifest in the other seven, maybe six (excluding Agape) if not checked.

Love Languages

Love has a language. They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Speaking the wrong language is akin to someone speaking Swahili to a Greek. Result is chaos, (love) clutter, and reciprocity failure. It is important to know one’s love language as well as one’s spouse, children, and/or close friends.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, “it helps strengthen relationships … as different people with different personalities express love in different ways.

Interested in finding out your love language, click here [https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/]. Each of us have a primary (dominant) language. We can also have a secondary (recessive) language as well as multiple love languages.

Have fun discovering your love language. And should you feel like sharing, do so in the Reply/Comments below.

Wisdom nugget: Today


In choosing whatever you want and however you live your life today,
remember tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Will you be proud of it tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Think of how you’ll explain it to your child/children or the one you love the most tomorrow,

Whatever you do that brings you comfort and money today,
Think of the comfort and more money it might take away tomorrow.

If it will give you sleepless nights tomorrow,
Be wise and wave it bye bye today

But we never know what tomorrow brings
So be wise today
And ask your Creator
If this is what He wants for you
Today!

😍🙏🏾✌🏾

An apropos for the remainder of the year

Today is Day 190 of the calendar and we’ve just begun the second half of 2020.

With COVID-19 and its effect on everyone and the economy, the ongoing unrest, including the upcoming elections, we, as well as our nation, are nearing a seemingly turning point.

I believe in miracles and we need the hand of God to steer us all and orchestrate a divine intervention.

This prayer is therefore apropos for us all for the rest of the year.

I pray that it resonates with you. Stay blessed.

BBC – Science & Nature – Human Body and Mind – Spot The Fake Smile

Spot The Fake Smile Survey
— Read on www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

. . .

Can you spot a fake smile from a genuine one? According to U.K.’s BBC, “Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don’t always know what others are really feeling.

Would you rather just get along with people or would you rather seek genuine friendships/relationships? For some, the answer might be “it depends.” I’d rather have the genuine.

. . .

I took this survey in one of my classes in college and scored 18 out of 20. Not bad, right?! But I wish I got it all! That two fake smiles could unknowingly cause a disaster or two if allowed to slip. Please don’t mind me – just revealing my competitive side 😀

I just found my result of the survey and wanted to share for a mid-week challenge.

. . .

We’re all in a haste to get things done that these days, no one stops to breathe or rest any more. (One reason that COVID-19 was a welcome breather of sorts!) We run about like the fable Chicken Little such that we miss the little things that matter. A fake smile and/or body language are two of such things.

. . .

Now, let’s see how you fair. Can you really spot a fake smile? Take the survey by clicking on the url above. p.s. you might need a Flash player.

Don’t forget to share your results in the comments below.

Happy hump day!

Housewife: A Case for the Title

Every home not only needs a woman, but every home needs a practical woman. A woman who can juggle her acts, smoothly don the hats of a Chief Executive Officer, Chief Economist, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Administrative Officer, Chief Strategic Officer, Chief Internal Officer, Chief Public Relations Officer, Chief Information Security Officer, as well as the Chauffeur, Chef, and Chief of the Family Fan Club, and still maintain her poise and sanity.

A married lady who stays home to take care of the needs of her home; is to be cherished because she happily wears all the numerous hats for which she is not compensated nor adequately appreciated. She’s often taken for granted in many homes because “it is her responsibility” to take care of the house/home, right? No! That’s wrong!

The housewife’s job is never done in a day. It’s a steady chore juggling to ensure that:

(1) the physical home is sparkling clean first and foremost, and that the ambiance of the internal decor is strikingly captivating and inviting to anyone especially such that the hubby is compelled to rush home after work and hardly wants to leave the comforts for a weekend getaway;

(2) love and peace fill all its chambers;

(3) the children love it so much they want to show it off while inviting their friends over rather than chasing after sleepovers;

(4) she also loves to call it her sanctuary, and

(5) she constantly provides (or cooks) her family’s favorite meals.

Wow … what a list of chores? Does the housewife ever get a break? She takes care of everyone, but who gets to pamper her? She who refreshes others, must herself be refreshed, right?

. . .

Before I continue, I applaud the men/husbands who not only cherish their wives, but help with the household chores, and should their wives be a stay-at-homer, compensate them by giving them allowances (sounds so archaic though) or freedom in the joint bank accounts realizing that two have become one. 

. . .

Men/Husbands, please know that your wives are reasonable and sensible human beings. Once women are convinced that both are on the same page, they will handle the joint financials at a profit! (This statement can further be blogged another day). Will be interesting to hear the viewpoints of men/husbands on this too. 

“A thrifty woman is better than a great income. A good wife and health are a man’s best wealth”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Men, please share your thoughts on this point (i.e., that women are reasonable and can profitably manage the joint account) by commenting below.

History to Present Day of Housewifing:

Traditionally, married women stayed at home, not for economic reasons but, as an honor and in submission to the man/husband as the head of the household. My grandma often told us that it was taboo in their days for a married woman to have a 9-to-5 job. The few women who did had “the female” professions such as nurses or teachers; not the CEO types nor were they ever seen in the boardroom. These women were seen as women who wanted to “wear-the-pants,” aka domineering.and in church-ish language could be termed, Jezebels.

Please read this article for more on historical housewifing: https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-1950s-Housewife/

Modern-day reasons for staying at home however are more for economic reasons. For example, child/daycare costs are astronomical, especially in a state like California where the 2019 GDP is $3.1 trillion (https://www.statista.com/statistics/248023/us-gross-domestic-product-gdp-by-state/). According to the Economic Policy Institute, the average daycare monthly cost in California is almost a $1,000 (https://www.epi.org/child-care-costs-in-the-united-states/) compared to $500 in Alabama whose 2019 GDP was $203.97 million. Understandably, daycare cost, like every other cost, is relative. However, $500 in Alabama is a huge expense for young families with infants and toddlers, coupled with the stress of wondering whether the daycare will provide the best care. It, therefore, makes good economic sense to have one parent stay home to care for the children.

Benefits of Stay-at-homers:

  • The truism of the adage “there’s no mom like one’s mother” becomes inevitable;
  • It’s cheaper as the money that could have been paid to the daycare provider can now be channeled to other use;
  • Children are in safer environments at home than with strangers;
  • Children are healthier as there’s no ping-ponging of sicknesses that stems from having the kids together particularly during the COVID-19 period;
  • The children are well-rested as the wife/mother doesn’t have to wake them up early for daycare so that she can be prompt for work; 
  • As the children grow and begin school and/or sports, they have Mom to always drop off/pick up on time instead of looking for help or leaving them till late before picking up;
  • Family time is valued as the husband can return to home-cooked meals, which can be eaten together as a family;
  • There’s overall peace of mind.

Disadvantages of being a housewife:

  • The man-husband becomes the sole provider;
  • As a result of #1 above, there’s a higher financial burden on the man-husband;
  • This in turn causes stress in the home;
  • In today’s living standards where two wage-earners have become essential, the opportunity-cost living on one income means some things would have to be forgone and must-haves now become luxuries;
  • The woman/wife does not have a “she” money and has to rely on the bacon brought home by her hubby;
  • There’s a stigma of inadequacy that the woman/wife suffers in her circle of family and friends;
  • “If their husbands are rich, they are frequently berated for being lazy; if they are immigrants, for keeping children from learning the language and ways of their host country.” https://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/21/world/europe/21iht-LETTER.html
  • It can be boring as the woman/wife is alone at home.

It’s a Choice!

Most housewives are educated and have chosen this path for several and varied reasons that range from personal, economic, religion, to class status. Some are because the woman/wife wanted to, or the man/husband requested that the woman stay home, or both agreed that it was the best decision for them as a family.

Whatever any family’s decision is, it is time for society to acknowledge this sector of people as essential hard workers and treat them as respectable as any working woman. Interestingly though, one article noted that “… the economic value housewives create remains within their home …” This is a sad statement to make as I believe that there is a spillover benefit that is derived from the contributions of the housewife towards her husband and children.

A 2017 New York Post article stated that millennials are forgoing the career/professional path for the comfort of the home/kitchen. Read the article here: https://nypost.com/2017/05/24/im-a-millennial-woman-and-id-rather-be-a-housewife/

I have personally been on both sides of the coin – as a professional lady as well as a housewife. If I have to choose another life, I will choose to stay at home. The housewife does a lot more with her time being home than manicure and pedicure. She needs to be compensated for the many hats that she wears or be openly appreciated.

"Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." 
- Proverbs 31:31 (NIV)

Please share your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.

Steer clear of work-at-home scams | FTC Consumer Information

As the Coronavirus continues to spread, you may be looking for ways to make money without ever stepping foot outside your door.
— Read on www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2020/07/steer-clear-work-home-scams

. . .

Everyone ought to subscribe to the Consumer FTC email/blog. The department notifies one on trending consumer issues such as this one and others, including retail stores or companies whose privacy issues have been violated and what one should do about it. Varied topics, such as health & fitness, money & credit, jobs, privacy, & online security are blogged. I have gotten beneficial information over the years from the site and know that you will too.

To subscribe, go to consumer.ftc.gov/blog, scroll down and click the [Get email updates] button.

Please share your thoughts below on the content of the site. Thank you.

The Two Voices Every Leader Chases – Dr. Stephen R. Graves

The Two Voices Every Leader Chases – Dr. Stephen R. Graves
— Read on stephenrgraves.com/articles/read/the-two-voices-every-leader-chases/

Sharing another of Dr. Graves’ articles. Every leader must be able to discern these two voices; Voice of Inspiration and Voice of Instruction, amidst the daily and/or occasional confusion. Every leader must also know that God is not always in the midst of noise or everything that “seems good.”

Find your own circle (or team) of Inspiration and Instruction. In finding it, every leader must also know not to force or outstay it if it does not feel right.

Here’s to the best you (leader)! Enjoy the article and check him out as well at stephenrgraves.com.

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves
— Read on stephenrgraves.com/articles/read/more-is-caught-than-taught/

Leadership. Leaders. Leaders and Leadership. We are all leaders in our own ways though many don’t ascribe to the title and some think that it’s humility to be titled a follower. We need both leaders and followers. As a matter of fact, every leader must be a follower or learn to follow at times; it’s a form of life balance.

The truth is that we are all one form of a leader in many ways.

I love leaders and leadership. I know that I haven’t blogged on it yet. Well, I’m sharing the first article/blog. I signed up for a webinar featuring Stephen R. Graves. It’s my first time hearing of him (I realize that there are a whole lot more great folks out there that I’m still yet to meet!) and decided to check him out before the day. This article/blog straight away caught my attention as it’s one of my favorite phrases.

The probability of leaders having like followers is higher than having dissimilar followers. Needless to say, leaders have to lead well.

Some things are taught, but many are caught. This phrase is particularly true with families. Without being specifically told, we find ourselves doing the same things we watch our parents do. We inherit their habits, styles, mannerisms, likes and dislikes, etc. My father loved to travel. When he does, we jest on how he packs like a woman because he overpacks. I realize now that I do the same; granted that I am the lady. And my daughters jest me on overpacking 😜. I justify my packing lol by responding that I do not want to buy things out there that I have at home and could have brought with me.

Guess what?! I now notice my daughters doing exactly the same! They caught my habit!

In the Bible, Elisha caught Elijah’s anointing and received a double-portion.

In essence, we ought to be mindful of all that we do because we never know who is watching!

What do you think? Leave your comments below. I hope you also learned something from Dr. Graves’ article.

Peace.

Prayer: What you may not know about it

Today, I want to talk about prayers. This issue has been togging on my heart to share. So, here it is:

[ Quoted scriptures are from the King Janes Version of the Holy Bible ]

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”
‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬

What is Prayer?

Prayer (or praying) is a form of communication between people and God. It is merely a conversation which can be in the form of a request, call (or shout) for help, thanksgiving, supplication, seeking, or showing gratitude. Knowing when to engage in one form of prayer over the other is key to answered prayers. I deem prayer as a form of humility where I’m telling Father God that I cannot do “this thing” by myself, but with Him “I can do all things…” (Philippians 4:13)

Lord Jesus prayed (Matthew 26:36-44). We also can learn from his manner of prayer. Every religion prays; Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, even the dark kingdoms, etc. The difference is distinguishable in the channel/source of the prayer.

Prayers can be in the individual’s local or heavenly language. The local language as in English, Spanish, Yoruba, Chinese, Mandarin, Tagalog, Hebrew, Swahili, etc, or any other native dialect.The heavenly language is when the individual speaks in tongues.

Speaking in tongues is in the New Testament and can either be a gift or can be desired. Because it is in the New Testament, speaking in tongues is still relevant and powerful today. Please note that speaking in tongues is different from chanting. Because all truths are parallel; some might say that speaking in tongues and chanting are similar. This blog/platform is not to debate that stance.

Which is more effective?

Personally speaking, there is a time and place for each; that is, praying in one’s local language versus praying in tongues.

“Yet in the church, I had rather speak five words with my understanding, that by my voice I might teach others also, than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:19‬

I love praying in tongues as it not only strengthens the inner (spirit) man, (1 Corinthians 14:4) but most importantly it bypasses the individual’s mind/intellect and is a direct communication to God. (1 Corinthians 14:2)

Prayer Styles include:

  • silently or (keeping still in the presence of God)
  • fervently (James 5:16)
  • groaning before God
  • crying/weeping unto God (Hebrews‬ ‭5:7‬, Jeremiah‬ ‭11:14, 48:5‬, Psalm 141:1, Judges 6:7, etc.)

These forms of prayer are particularly famous with King David in the Bible. We also can adopt them.

. . .

Prayer Postures

Kneeling is a favorite posture of prayer by a majority of people. Other anomalistic postures include prostrating before God (2 Samuel‬ ‭12:16‬b), standing, walking around, sitting, etc.

I know that God answers prayer any which way; irrespective of posture. The posture is not as important as one’s HEART.

. 🙏 .

Prayer can be said privately, in a group of two or more, or corporately as in a church setting.

“Not all private prayer is effective, but private prayer is rewarding”

Unknown, Grace for Purpose

The private prayer, the one-to-one communication, is the type when you enter into your “closet” aka your designated place of meeting with Father God.

“…, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; …”

Matthew‬ ‭6:6‬a

I love this video from Grace for Purpose YouTube page. Please listen to it as it will bless you and your day.

Group prayer. “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there will I be.” Group prayer is when you join with a spouse or friend(s) to pray; bringing an issue before God and coming into an agreement over the issue.

Corporate prayer. It has often been said that prayer is the foundation of the church. Many churches designate about an hour for special prayers where church members (often with the prayer group leading if the church has such a group. If not church elders or leaders lead the prayer/prayer points by coming together to pray for the church, its members, church’s needs, cities, nations, and/or for other specific needs.

What is the best time to pray?

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Jesus woke up early to pray (Mark 1:35). The above Grace for Purpose video also collaborates this. As such, I prefer the morning as the best time to pray.

Most people often start their days getting physically-charged by exercising and/or going to the gym. Others do yoga for the mental-/emotional-charge. I prefer starting my day with prayer to be spiritually-charged as it takes care of all three – physical, mental, and emotional. Besides, one might get a revelation for the day! One unique word direct from God (aka revelation) to your spirit man, can take care of something(s) that could have taken you years to resolve!

Having said that, if you start your day with prayer, it is only wise to end your day also with a prayer. But, prayer in between your work (business or college) days is equally beneficial.

. . .

The Holy Bible talks of other prayer times such as the morning watch (1 Samuel 11:11), middle watch (Judges 7:19, Luke 12:38), third watch, and fourth watch (Matthew 14:25, Mark 6:48). The watches in this usage are specific three-hour blocks of time in a 24-hour clock.

According to The Global Watch, “The Hebrew watch was divided into three watches, the first, middle and morning watch. As the Roman influence and supremacy was established, the number of watches increased to four and were described in numerical order

  1. 1st (6pm – 9pm);
  2. 2nd (9pm – 12am);
  3. 3rd (12am – 3am); and
  4. 4th (3am – 6am).”

I do not suppose that God cares about the time one prays because He has specific assignments for each person. While some are early risers/worms, some are night owls. Some people work regular hours, while some work night or grave shifts. The hours and duration that you designate for meeting with Father God will accordingly be uniquely you.

. . .

I will recommend prayer before a business meeting; pray for your business outcomes, and even your customers and suppliers. It is wisdom to commit every business decision to God even before starting it. I also recommend that one prays while at work, during your lunch break, while running your errands, in the gym, etc. Pray particularly for your home, spouses, children, family, your doctors, lawyers, accountants, your children’s friends, and their families, your children’s teachers; practically pray for everyone and everything that concerns you.

Did I hear your sigh that this is a lot of praying? It seems so, but all the above could be done in about 15 minutes. Once you get started, the fifteen minutes would seem insufficient that you’ll desire to increase your time with Father God as you deem fit. Incremental times of 15 minutes are great till you get to where you feel you’ve given your best time. One-liner prayers, such as Help me! or Heal me! are equally as effective. Your prayer does not always have to be lengthy or repetitive because Father God is not so interested in how long (quantity of time), but the quality of your time is more important to Him. The quality of time with Papa God should be free from distractions. Give Him your best time; be it 15, 30, or 60 minutes.

It is also best to designate a praying spot and block out the praying time. Once designated, be diligently prompt and consistent as He will always meet you there.

Please note that though some people might have a gift of praying, realize that none was born a prayer warrior. Every prayer warrior began somewhere. I remember when I always wished that I would not be called upon to pray at home-groups.

. . .

I will be amiss if I do not mention that prayer without corresponding action is futile. Once you’ve brought your issues (or concerns) before Father God, you need to get up and take the necessary step(s) for action. After you’ve prayed, believe that Father God has heard you and be expectant (Mark 11:24). Father’s answer to your prayer often falls into either a:

“Yes” – you receive exactly what you asked for;

“No” – you do not receive exactly what you prayed for, but you get something that Father God knows you either need or is better for you.

“Wait” – this has to do with the timing of your request and means that your request will be answered later.

. . .

Generally speaking, prayer ought to be soothing and should never agitate the person, the person’s spirit, nor a situation. Any prayer agitating anyone’s spirit is often not a godly prayer.

🙏🏾.🙏.🙏🏼.

I hope you learned a new thing or two. Please comment below to share. May you be richly rewarded publicly what you have spent your private time doing in the Name of Jesus.

Caveat: this blog on prayer is not exhaustive. There’s much more that can be written on the topic. But I hope this helps on your journey to praying and spending time with Father God.

Peace.

Mental Health: Women and Home Management

www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load

The awareness of mental health issues keep growing. Now we recognize a lot of health issues (that lead to diseases) that previously had been ignored.

I came across this article via a Twitter feed. Informative and worth reading.

Women have been pitched into “holding the home forth.” Little do the men/husband/significant others realize that the home forth involves a lot – being the CEO, CIO, CSO (Chief Strategic Officer), CAO (Chief Administrative Officer), CFO, CIO (Chief Internal Officer), CPRO (Chief Public Relations Officer), and Chief chauffeur. Ladies, let me know if I omitted any title. At the end of the day, the woman is exhausted and has no gas left for other important tasks. Yes, women can delegate the chores if they can afford it. But for those who can’t, this article will help on how to manage yourself and your home. Enjoy and share your thoughts by commenting below.

Peace.

Happy Father’s Day

Girl Daddy

Click here https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2019/06/father-day-celebrates-today-190616060505310.html for the history of Father’s Day

. . .

To all fathers worldwide
But particularly to fathers
in the countries celebrating Father’s Day today;

Thank you for the patriarchal leading
and gathering of all your children under your arms
That are so broad and strong
Yet so caring and stern

Thank you for your guidance
And protection;

For waking up early everyday
To bring home the bacon
So that your children and family
Will be sufficiently provided for
And not go without the necessities of life;
Thank you for the little extras you add
That makes you the special provider;

Thank you for all that you do
Which sometimes goes unappreciated
Yet you never stop giving and doing;

We pause today
To celebrate all that you represent
To let you know
How much we care, love, and appreciate you
We want to pause for you everyday
But wish that you weren’t so busy
We want to pause for you to rest
And wish that you will take of us the best

We want to pause for you today

For icecream and cake

Or golf

Or a walk with you in the garden

We want to pause for you
And shout it out loud
That you are the very best.

Happy Father’s Day
June 21, 2020

You simply are the BEST!

. . .

Happy Father’s Day
to the Father of all fathers
Whose attributes are a trillion times more than all the above
Who sits majestically on His Throne
Watching over his sons below
Guiding and directing their paths
So they can be all that He’s created them to be

We love you Our Father
Who art in heaven
We hallow your name
Today as always
And anticipate always
That Your Kingdom
Come now.
Thank you for truly being
The Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent.
We love You Father

The Father of all fathers


Today and always;

Happy Father’s Day
June 21, 2020

Lion of The Tribe of Judah

April Fool in June

We all are having a bad dream and will wake up to realize that it was just an April Fool!

Alabama in Dar es Salem?! I remember those words vividly as if it were only yesterday. Those words, came off a book read in elementary school, and have stuck since. I don’t remember the title of the book nor its author anymore!

Dar es Salem is the former capital city of Tanzania [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dar_es_Salaam] in East Africa.

The statement expressed the shocking dismay of an American visitor to the Country of Tanzania. At the time, apartheid was ongoing in South Africa for which we all remember that Nelson Mandela fought and went to prison.

More videos and pictures here [https://www.nytimes.com/video/us/100000007177799/washington-dc-protests-white-house.html?playlistId=video/minneapolis-george-floyd-death-video

One can parallel that statement by asking, “apartheid in America?!” God forbid. I’m hoping it is not true, that we will all wake up and it would have been a horrific dream. 

But no, unfortunately, this is real. It is pretty disturbing and similar to China’s 1989 Tiananmen Square protests. It is also what prevails in dictatorship countries. It should not be happening in the 21st century, in the U.S.A., the super-power, the Big brother to several nations, when-America-sneezes-every-country-catches-cold America.

Pinch me and say It’s April Fool!

Why do we write articles, books, or blogs?

Is it because there is a shortage of information or knowledge-sharing?

Certainly not!

Or is it because we want to make money? Maybe. But still making money does not suffice. I read former President Obama’s books wherein he stated that the proceeds from his book paid off his student loans. How I wish I could write a book that could give me a similar outcome! 😊

I love to read and write about a variety of topics, for example, leadership and the various styles of leadership. Yet I know that despite all that I have read (and written about in college), there are numerous leadership styles still untouched. Notwithstanding, I still marvel at the thought of anyone trying to surpass John C. Maxwell on leadership topics.

. . .

One generation comes and goes, and another follows. The cycle is repeated and forever will still be repeated till eternity. We tend to recycle information and knowledge albeit calling it by another name; a name that the targeted generation can relate to.  This is especially true in the fashion industry. 

So, “why do we continuously write books, articles, or blogs?” I will say that it is to share knowledge and leave a legacy. For others, it might be to make money / earn a living. Why must I write another book or article, for example, on leadership, or e-commerce, or student loan? Are there not enough of those topics already saturating the market or gathering dust on bookshelves? Is anyone still buying the books, or reading them, or even when bought, opening them anymore? As I ask these questions, I instantaneously provide the answers too. And here it is that:

The insatiability of mankind’s unquenchable thirst keeps him searching for the “next new thing” on planet earth. There seems to be a void yearning to be filled in man that drives him/her away from the old to any information or knowledge packaged in a new form of a book or an article or blog. But no sooner are the pages flipped that the books, articles, or blogs become dated.

We will keep writing because everyone is looking for something new. The market for authors is so dynamic that there will never be a shortage of topics to pen nor knowledge to share.

Whether it is a book, article, or blog, to share one’s passion, expertise, or life experiences, the reasons we still do it are as unique as the author or blogger.  The act is not disappearing soon either.

We wear many hats and should refrain from limiting our analysis of issues to a singular

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

I propose that anyone who has lived at least a couple of decades on planet earth, will undoubtedly have some things and values that can be shared such as experiences in life, career, business, gifts, talents, etc. These valuable things transcend family, education, career, business, cultures, and more. The more the decades on earth, the deeper, varied, and sometimes hilarious the experiences. Generally speaking, the 40-/50-year old undoubtedly would have more life experiences than the 18-/25-year old. Only in few rare cases would there be exceptions to this statement.

“If elders could bequeath their experience and knowledge of life to children without the children making any mistakes, they would save them from a lifetime of heartaches.”

― Neena H. Brar, Tied to Deceit

One hat doesn’t always fit all

Having said this, I believe that people’s experiences and reactions to issues vary and are uniquely individualistic. However, we live in a culture that tries to put everyone, and every issue, in a box. For example, a father reacting to an issue concerning his son or daughter will exhibit certain emotions which might not necessarily be objective because it concerns his son/daughter. However, the same man will react differently to an issue concerning a colleague or subordinate at work; and even so differently if the subordinate were his son.

Another instance is in the medical field where certain medical guides are used across board for everyone. For instance the BMI formula, which uses one’s weight and divides it by the square of one’s height, has become the yardstick to measure an individual’s obesity tendencies. (https://bit.ly/2W1c7jB)


The BMI does not take into consideration the ethic background (Asian ladies are generally petite in stature; whereas African ladies are generally “thick”). Barbie-type African ladies are often deemed to be malnourished. BMI also ignores muscle mass, bone density, or other body structures of the individual. Yet, BMI has been accepted in the USA as the norm for gauging obesity and we are all expected to accept it!

The point that I’m making is that we should analyze issues from varied points before forming a conclusion. But, should we choose to form a conclusion based on a specific viewpoint, we need to offer that viewpoint so that readers are aware of our stand. For example, a mother, might sign a petition for more prisons to be built so that criminals are taken off our streets. The mother is wearing her citizen’s hat. However, the mother, wearing her mother hat, might not be enthused to having the prison built in her neighborhood.

The issues we talk, write, or blog would be analyzed, wearing different hats, and with the purpose to better inform the reader. Since the issues are varied, the audience will also be varied. The audience will eventually be narrowed down to a niche. Our hope is that the target niche, within the year, would hopefully have learned a thing or two from the wisdom nuggets shared.

Happy reading!

We Yearn and Thirst for …

Everyone is searching for something yet not all know what it is that they are searching for.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

We work round-the-clock searching for more money. We are glad when a raise is given; we earned it, right? The boss finally recognizes all of my efforts. But, a year later, we’re asking for another raise and more money. Whoever said that one never has enough money did not lie. More money is only an example. The search could be for power, success, love, food, friends, more degrees than the thermometer (credit to Bishop T.D. Jakes!), cars, shoes, etc. I am not advocating idleness or truancy. But that no-one ought to work like a dog before making enough to sustain self and family. Many folks work two or three jobs just to make ends meet. There might be other reason(s) why some folks have to work more than one job: for example, having a side hustle, working a business in order to quit a 9-to-5 job or a hobby. These are normal occurrences. The ones we need to think and talk about is the “I-don’t-have-a-choice-than-to-do-these-two-jobs.” A two-job earner barely rests because s/he moves from one job to the next and repeat the next day and the next … The lack of rest causes stress and one is easily agitated.

Higher is calling

There is a higher calling us all yet we all do not pause to ask “Who?” or “Why?” or “Why me and to where?” We are just too busy! It is a fast-paced world, right? Else one will be left behind! But no, it is not. It is just a fast-paced world in our part of the continents, America. Because the last time, I checked, Italy takes a summer break for a month (https://bit.ly/3d2tffn), Europeans are known to take national naps and their women go on six-months’ maternity leave with pay (https://bit.ly/35iCWE3), right? while Africans take a rest justifying that “I can’t kill myself!” Even the Creator of the Universe rested. Why not you; why not me; and why not us? One thing I know for sure (credit to Oprah) is that the Creator of the Universe has a way of keeping one still. I ask the one who cannot take a break, and God forbid this: “what happens when you’re involved in an accident and become bedridden for weeks?” Or the inevitable stroke and/or paralysis occur? Unfortunately, sometimes it is necessary to paint this ugly picture for one to get it. 

Why allow the taskmaster to drive you endlessly?!

Visitors to California echo that it is a highly paced State. That the culture is different in other States. The visitors wonder why we are too time-conscious and cannot relax for a second. I have not lived in other states to experience the difference but I’m curious to find out. Please share your experiences in the comments below if you agree that California (and probably, New York) is highly fast-paced compared to other States.

The one good thing that COVID-19 has done for us all is to take a critical look at ourselves; our business, and to put our lives into a perspective. We all have been forced to sit still. If we could sit still and survive the last two or three months, we can accept this new norm going forward.

Rest is essential to the body and, in resting, we can be still and pay attention to each other, our neighbors, our environments, and our nation. We can communicate (as in listening) and value one another. But most importantly, in rest, you meditate, communicate with your inner self, and a higher being. You are calmer, peaceful, and notice a lot of things and details that others would miss. 

While writing this blog, I stumbled upon a new word “sehnsucht,” which sums up the kind of yearning that this blog is about. 

I propose to you that whenever there’s an insatiable hunger (or thirst) for something, there’s always an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with. Often, that issue is internal, deeper, and the solution can only be found in drawing nearer to the Creator for He’s the only One who can satisfy. The next time you yearn for more, take time to sit still and ask the Creator for help, to speak to you, and share your experience.