Of Fathers and Daughters: Part 2 – Girl Daddies

This is the continuation of the topic, Of Fathers and Daughters. This post focuses on the Fathers also known as (aka) Girl Daddies. The first part talked about the Daughters; Daddy’s Girls. Check it out here.

Girl Daddies

Girl Daddies are everywhere, among cultures, races, and industries, but was popularized on the death of Kobe and Gianna Bryant. Prior to their unfortunate demises, late Kobe was quoted to have called himself a Girl Dad during an interview he once had with Vox: “Girls are amazing,” he told the reporter. “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a girl dad.”

I love the popularity (or movement) of Girl Daddies because it brought fathers and daughters to the forefront of the society and culture. A latent awareness of the equally important role of daughters and the fathers who are proud of, and supports, them publicly. Yet it is ironic that, on the same planet called Earth some nations and cultures are still not happy with the birth of their daughters and resorts to relegate or kill them!

Who is a Girl Daddy?

So what (or who) exactly is a Girl Daddy? I’m glad you asked again. You probably know one.

First and foremost, Girl Daddy is a father of girls and denotes a loving father’s public affection of his daughter. In a household of all female children, one is particularly acknowledged as the Daddy’s Girl. She’s the one who resembles him either facially or physically (includes mannerisms) and likes or does all that he likes and do.

The Urban Dictionary describes Girl Daddy as “father who wants his daughter (s) to have the same rights, opportunities, and privileges as any boy” and one who empowers his daughter to carry on his legacy

When the Dad shows “favoritism” to one daughter and the daughter reciprocates by showing interest in what he does, asking him questions especially of female-related issues rather than asking Mom, and wanting to “follow in his footsteps,” Daddy treats her as the son he never had.

Girl Daddy is super-protective of his daughter(s), desires that his daughter be tough, play football or rugby to demonstrate that she’s equally capable of any other sports or things that boys do, sometimes Girl Daddy drives their daughter(s) competitively too hard. They also “want to live through their daughter(s). Daddy’s Girls look for men with character traits as their Dad leading to the aphorism that “girls often marry their dads.”

Girl Daddy and Daddy’s Girl both have their privileges. For example, dating or being married to a Daddy’s Girl means that your girlfriend or wife understands you better, that the boyfriend or husband is fully aware that he cannot mistreat Daddy’s Girl and not see the wrath of her Father. Being a Girl Daddy means more loving and better open to understanding and supportive of feminine issues. Daddy’s Girl will always jump to help her boyfriend or husband to change a car tire or work on a house project such as building a shed or painting a room rather than watch or let him do it alone.

Ironically, there are still cultures who detest having girls. Even in the developed societies, some are still determined and sad for not having sons “to continue the legacy.” Some are also prone to thinking that the man is medically deficient for being unable to have sons.

Personally, I am happy to see the wave or movement of Girl Daddies. If nothing more, it cancels out the antiquated culture and thoughts of disillusionment of bearing girls.

If you’re a man reading this post and have daughters, I hope that you see the good in girls, love your daughters, and wear your label of Girl Daddy with pride.

To the rest of us, I hope we support and continue to love all girls, daughters, and Girl Daddies.

Of Fathers and Daughters: Part 1 – Daddy’s Girls

Know any man who adores his daughter such that not only his whole family (immediate and extended) knows it, but his friends and the world are equally aware of the father-daughter lovely relationship? Such was the love that occurred between late and former NBA Laker Star Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna. Such love is uncommon in a nation known for absent Dads. The beloved duo popularized “Girl Daddy” title for father-daughter relationships.

We’ve also heard Daddy’s Girl which refers to the daughters who are known as Dad’s favorites.

People often say that parents love a particular child over another. I don’t necessarily subscribe to that notion. Even if it is so, parents ought to be wise to not allow it to be apparent as it might breed sibling jealousy, rivalry, and competition. And who knows what else. Joseph’s story and the proverbial “coat of many colors” in the Bible is a true instance.

Good traits of being a Daddy’s Girl

Daddy’s Girl’s are blessed to have a first-hand knowledge and experience of what a man is and can be. Because of their closeness to their dad, Daddy Girls learn firsthand about men; what they do and how they do that which they do. They’d rather prefer to help their dad wash the cars and fix a tire, help with picking up and holding the tools ready to be used, than be in the kitchen with their mommas. Being in the kitchen bores Daddy’s Girls and they don’t understand why meals have to take so long to prepare. “Why don’t we just order pizza?!” is a constant question to their Moms. They are most likely to lean towards studying courses and careers that have been tagged “traditionally male-dominated.” They are also more comfortable in the boys group than their own gender types and have more male than female friends. Whoever said that roles, or anything, should be gender-based anyways? Except, of course being pregnant. They excel in technical and practical projects and activities where other girls fail. In essence, Daddy’s Girls are also no-nonsense strong girls who also grow up to be strong ladies and women. They are unafraid to lead a movement against injustice of any kind. All you need is their buy-in. They are extremely loyal, confident, and independent.

Downsides

Daddy’s Girls can however be plagued with relationship difficulties with both their female counterparts and in marriage. They relate on different planes with their girlfriends, are not girly-girls, feel that girly-girls are too touchy, too vain, and narrow-minded. They also often are perceived as harsh. They can also have difficulties in marriage because they don’t wait on, and for, their husbands to take care of things. They climb the ladder to change the bulb and know how to free the blocked toilet. The husband doesn’t understand why his Daddy-girl-wife wouldn’t cook home meals and prefers to dine out or order pizza. He feels she’s “wasting” money. It is a good thing to be proactive, but Daddy Girl’s proactivity might rub off wrongly on an insecure hubby who might feel that Daddy’s Girl is competing with his turf. Hubby’s insecurity will mar what otherwise could have been a God-sent gift to his life and might lead to or create issues in the marriage. At home, they appear to be competing with their Mom and tend to criticize their mother more than they do their dads. Worse if the woman is a step-mom, it will always be tension and unnecessary conflicts.

Daddy Girls are often misunderstood especially in traditional role environments and cultures and, even in liberal settings, they might be misconstrued as weird. Their “interests are at odds with expected female personality” roles.

Outcomes for misunderstanding Daddy’s Girls

With relationship difficulties, Daddy Girls can coil inwards and start believing the lies that something is actually wrong with their wiring. Except they are wired strong and “unbreakable,” these lies might actually come true and manifest in depression or anxiety or both with its resultant effects on other areas of their lives. They lose friends and wonder why nobody understands them. If no affirmation is received soonest, they might take solace in drugs and or drinking.

Finally

Daddy Girls are everywhere but they are more noticeable in households with predominantly daughters.

Next time you befriend or marry a Daddy’s Girl, please show more love and understanding. They are who they are because of divine wiring; snap a cord out of their wires, and they will be less and disoriented. But understanding them and allowing them to be will bring out the best in them. Build them up and support who they are, but please don’t crush their spirit.

Where would we be without the courage of Daddy’s Girls who have defied traditional stereotypes of daughters and risen to various levels of leadership. Look around and you can distinguish them by the foregoing.

To be continued